(Closed) Whats the difference between a gift registry and requesting money?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 47
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@RunsWithBears:  sorry about the confusion, to me, a card is a gift.

Post # 48
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

gift registry = having a suggested list of gifts one can choose to buy

asking for money = telling people the 1 gift option they should give you

 

You’re not supposed to tell people where you are registrered in invites, which if you do to me is the same as asking for money.

Post # 49
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Asia:  Definitely disagree with you there. I don’t show up to any social gathering without a gift of some kind

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@RunsWithBears:  +1

Post # 50
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2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@bellaluna290:  Then why are you disagreeing weith me? I said most Bees would think it was wrong to show up as a guest to a wedding without a gift.

Post # 51
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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@Asia:  Sorry, I should have explained it better.  I appreciate it when there are reasons- so, for example, if they say (or I know) that they’re moving, or they’re having a Destination Wedding and don’t want to cart around boxed gifts, that’s fine.

If they put “No boxed gifts” and I think it’s a ploy for money, it would irk me.  OK, you want money, just damn say it in a nice polite way, like “While we don’t expect gifts, we are saving for xxx, so we would appreciate cash.”  Except more wedding-y I guess, cause I’m really bad with coming up with that on the spot.

But I would also send physical gifts ahead of time so that they don’t have to worry about carting them back to the hotel or whatever.  That’s courtesy, in my opinion.  So I don’t understand the need to put “No boxed gifts” if that’s what they’re worried about.

Post # 52
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@Apple_Blossom:  That makes sense! I don’t like people beating around the bush, either. 🙂 I haven’t mentioned gifts or our registry, but I really would prefer people not give us anything at all than give us a bunch of large boxes at our wedding. DX We’re driving 2.5 hours to get there, and our car is going to be full to bursting with wedding supplies. :-/

Post # 53
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

We have only ever gotten one invite that specifically said money was the appropriate gift. The insert explained that Jewish weddings don’t tend to give things, so much as cash in multiples of a certain number (8 maybe?). Fiance was thrilled by that info, since we had tried and failed to find registries for them, and we happily bought a card, wrote a check that we could afford, and partied with them. No big. We’re actually hoping that they just gift us money at our upcoming wedding.

I think it’s all in the way the request is phrased. I’m turned off by “no boxed gifts” but am perfectly happy if it’s implied by a lack of registry. Also, I’m originally from the midwest. ‘Round the parts I’m from, giving a physical, usable gift is really the norm, so I like a bit of a heads up on what the couple wants, even if it’s just implied. Tastefully, of course.

Post # 54
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Personally, Fiance and I hate the idea of a registry. Part of it is cultural (in my culture giving money is the norm, but you don’t ever explicitly ask for it!) and part of it is just hating the consumerist idea of making a wishlist of things we want.

We feel that people’s presence is enough, but if they wish to get us a gift, they will get the hint from our lack of registry. Or they will get us whatever they want, and we will be happy and grateful. We just remain perfectly silent on that topic. Even if we had a registry, I would NEVER list it on an invitation or website, I would only offer that information if someone explicitly asked.

Post # 55
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Asia:  yes this. agree 110%

Post # 56
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Asia:  Sorry, I should have clarified 🙂

I wouldn’t jump down someone’s throat if they wanted to know if they should bring a gift to a wedding. I just assume that people know to give something at any social gathering.

Post # 57
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@bellaluna290:  oh, gotcha gotcha! So it’s not something you’d chastise someone for, but it is something you believe in (moderation is a lovely addition to the internet! XD) That makes sense to me, as well. I’m even of the same boat, where I wouldn’t jump on someone, but I do think you should bring something (even something small like a card)

Post # 58
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We set up a honeyfund account as part of our registry…its like asking for $ to help pay with out honeymoon, but the guests get to see what we want to do and choose what they want to help us pay for (activities, chamgpange, dinner, ect)  A friend of mine went to a wedding last month and was telling me how the couple getting married requested cash “to help pay for the honeymoon to an unknown destination”.  Which irritated the heck out of her…the way she explained to to me is when she goes on a website and people have information about their honeymoon and a honeymoon registry, you’re seeing where your money goes.  When someone is just asking you to give them money…you never know if they will even use it towards that. That made so much sense to me…that I went home and talked to the Fiance and set up the honeyfund! LOL we have a regular registry here too…but this way the guests have an option. 

Post # 59
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t find it to be rude to ask for money/”wishing well”/have a honeyfund/have a registry.  I’m going to come to your wedding with some sort of gift, and I want to know what it is you really want.  If it’s cash, that’s fine.  If it’s a pot, that’s fine too.

Post # 60
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Gift registry helps you to make a list of those things you want to have and you can get this as a gift on any special occasion like wedding, birthday, bridal shower Etc. It is more likely a suggestion of a gift . Whereas asking for money is just as give me money. If you want to ask for money without being tacky or rude then gift registry also provides the facility to register for cash gifts so that people an also know that you are accepting money as well.

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