(Closed) What's the difference between Erings and promise rings? What exactly is a Ering?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I thought promise rings were what teenage boys gave to their girlfriends too..and I recieved a few in my lifetime!

For real, I think in this context it is a ring for the proposal, so the bride can pick out the ring she wants for her ering herself. Like a place holder?

Post # 3
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens

Nope, you’re actually right with your first assumption! Promise rings are pretty typical for teenage relationships or early on in a relationship- it’s a symbol of proposing “officially” later on, but just a way to do so in a smaller sense. Usually the rings are smaller as a result; it’s a mostly American tradition but I have Canadian friends who have also taken this tradition on. It’s not terribly common, as a whole.

Erings is an abbreviation for engagement rings! And engagement rings totally vary. Your “typical” engagement ring is a diamond solitaire, but they can wildly vary in what the stone is or how it’s designed.

Post # 4
1008 posts
Bumble bee

I always thought a promise ring was “I promise to ask you to marry me someday,” and an engagement ring was “Will you marry me?” 

There’s such a range of rings – price, style, significance, etc, that they all have different meanings for different people. 

I think when adult women are saying that they were proposed to with promise rings, they mean the ring is a placeholder for their actual ring, like the PP said. 

Post # 6
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m with you in that a promise ring seems to me a pre-engagement ring where a certain commitment is being made that is just short of engagement — a “promise” to be engaged. I think, therefore, calling a ring that one uses to become actually engaged a promise ring, is a minomer. I think when bees say they got engaged with a promise ring, they mean that the ring is a temporary one and that the “real” engagement ring will come later. However, they are still engaged.

As for the value of the ring, for me personally I don’t think the monetary value of a ring has any bearing on its intention. If you mean for it to be an engagement ring, then it is. There is a tradition in the U.S. of buying diamonds for an engagement and I think a lot of bees want and expect that. I would like a diamond ring as well. Perhaps I have been conditioned by this culture, though I would never want my BF to go beyond his means to get me one. If he can afford one and it’s reasonable to do so, my preference is for a diamond. Of course the ring is peripheral to the actual engagement, which is commitment to spend one’s life together, and you don’t need a symbol to do that.

Post # 7
4229 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I received a promise ring when I was 22 and in my first serious relationship.  Honestly…they’re kind of ridiculous.  He claimed it was a “promise to love me in some way, shape, or form for forever”.  It essentially was a symbol for us that we were serious about each other but not engaged just yet.  Thankfully we never got engaged!  That dude was toxic.

This thread reminds me that I have to pawn that sucker…still buried in my closet somewhere….

Post # 8
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I can’t stand promise rings… or the meaning behind them. I got a ring from my Fiance when he was my boyfriend but it was my birth stone and not a promise ring. 

Post # 9
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband proposed to me in a very informal way the first time because he couldnt afford a ring, so I gave us promise ring pendants to wear until we were in a better place financially and he could propose the “proper” way. 

Post # 10
3816 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

To me an engagement ring is given as a promise to get married. A promise ring is all other promises aside from that. The style/size/type of ring is irrelevant. 

Post # 12
369 posts
Helper bee

To me, a promise ring is something young, immature couples give each other (or just the guy gives to the girl) as a promise to get engaged eventually. In my eyes this is a completely unnecessary step, if you’re going to shell out $$ for a promise ring (I’ve seen some upwards of $1,000) why not wait a little longer and buy an engagement ring? Promise rings are superfluous in my opinion.

Post # 13
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

As someone who has had both a promise ring and an e-ring I hopefully can comment about what it meant to us anyway.

I’ve been with my Fiance since I was 17. We celebrate 9 years together early next year.

Finished highschool and both went to college etc. About a year after graduating and into steady jobs he asked me to get a home with him. We were 23 then. We both knew that this was step #1 toward marriage. To mark the next step in our relationship he gifted me a RHR/promise ring as a gift that year for our anniversary with this beautiful card he’d written about how he knows I’m the one etc, he read it to me at a beatiful restaurant and made quite an occasion of it. I never once assumed it was an e-ring cos we’d discussed many times that we wanted to get engaged/married after the age of 25 (I’ve always had this idea that you’re not mature enough before then- sorry not sorry). I think the ring cost him maybe $300 all up. It’s a created sapphire and CZ ring and could pass for an e-ring – similar to princess Kate’s ring tbh. We’d always discussed getting married but didn’t want to be engaged for years and years and wanted to be at a stage where we could afford the wedding and ring etc. We also have always planned to start a family right after getting married and I’m gonna be a Stay-At-Home Mom hence not rushing to get engaged right off the bat. (we’re both type-A planners lol). We’ve had the last almost 10 years planned out and so far so good! 

Just this year he proposed and we got engaged cos we’re ready to get married now and to start a family next year. We’re both turning 26 soon. 

My e-ring cost in excess of 6K, I later found out that he’d bought it a year prior to proposing but wanted to pay it off before giving it to me. It’s real gold and diamonds and is extra meaningful…

I wear my old ‘promise ring’ as a stand-in engagement ring at the gym and when we travel now ๐Ÿ™‚

I think it can mean different things to different people.

Post # 14
3816 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

To answer your amended question, I think it depends on the person. To some people an engagement ring has to have certain qualifications (stone type, size, materials, price, etc.) And anything less than that they would consider a promise ring. I don’t think there’s any standard measure of what’s an engagement ring and what’s a promise ring, though.

Post # 15
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


View original reply
bibbithebee :  I agree with a pp that promise rings can mean different things for different couples. In our case, my Fiance and I started dating while we were still teenagers so we were in no shape or form ready for marriage. My Fiance wanted to give me something special that showed his commitment to me without flat-out proposing. I wore my promise ring everyday anyways so years later when we made the decision to get married, we decided for me to wear it as a placeholder until we could afford a quality ering. 

I think some women get bent out of shape with their expectations for erings. An ering can be any ring (or necklace or whatever) that fits the couple. 

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