What's the dumbest ways you've injured yourself?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Lindsay wins. 

When I was about 4-5 I was sitting on the trash can to boost myself up far enough to reach the cookies. The cans were metal then with weak plastic lids. I fell thru into the can in a u-shape. I was basically staring at my feet with my hands up in the air.  It took my dad about an hour to get me out of that can. Couldn’t cut a metal can like you do the plastic ones we have now. I have a scar from seam in the metal down the entire left side of my butt. 

Post # 32
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I met a friend for a evening/full moon hike and I brough my 2 dogs. It was still light out and I was standing behind my car, parked on the side of a 2 lane road, and holding my dog’s leashes when she walked up. Well, my dogs decided to say hi to “Auntie Jean” as she walked up and started tugging me toward the street where cars were driving past. I leaned back to keep them from getting too far. And I slipped down a 3 foot deep ditch covered in sharp pieces of gravel. It completly tore up the outside of my right thigh. Blood dripping down my leg, bits and pieces stuck in my skin. 

I splashed some water on it and did the 8-mile hike anyway (dark out except for a full moon and our headlamps). I had NO issues whatsoever on the rocky, 1000+foot elevation gain hike. Sigh… Now my leg is scarred. I tell people I was chased by a bear, attacked by a piranha, etc. 

 

Post # 33
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Disclocated a finger during sex. No, not doing anything exotic, just changing positions and whacked it against Darling Husband at the wrong angle. 

Post # 34
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Got drunk. Road a snowmobile. Crashed said snowmobile. Fractured my leg. Dumbest thing ever.ย 

Post # 35
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

I came home from school late after a long band practice after school, and my family had already ordered pizza and ate most of it. They left some for me on the counter. I reached into the box, and I sh*t you not, the melted-and-hardened cheese stuck to the box sliced my inner wrist like a blade. I cut myself on dried cheese on a pizza box. It didn’t stop bleeding for a good ten minutes (but I was starving, and I ate that pizza like a champ while I held paper towels to my arm with my other hand)

Not really an injury, but one day while getting ready for school, I lost a contact lens. Sort of. I had one of them in already. I spent a good ten minutes looking for the one that was missing from the other side of the container. I realized the one that was in felt really weird… dry and painful. I popped it out. IT WAS BOTH LENSES STUCK TOGETHER. I put both contact lenses in the same eye. 

Post # 36
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

lindsayE :  It’s hard not to laugh thinking of someone’s body parts glued together and onto the floor. Yet, that must also be rather painful. So sorry you had to go through that. I guess you could tell your grandkids that story if you ever needed to scare them from doing something they shouldn’t. laughing

Post # 37
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Where to start…I had a small bathroom in my first apartment, and when I turned around from cleaning the bathtub, I ran head first into the half open door and gave myself a concussion.ย 

A huge waterbug was in my kitchen so i sprayed it with raid, it went crazy, ran towards me, I slipped in the raid and sprained my ankle.

I was bent over shaving my legs in the shower, turned around to rinse the razor and almost sliced my nipple off!!

ย 

Post # 38
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

13 years old, hanging out with friends, cocky. Someone fell and everyone was laughing. I decided to make fun of her further by imitating her.

Then I fell. While making fun of someone else for falling.

I broke my pinky.

Post # 39
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate

HappySky7 :  ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ “from a loofah”

Post # 40
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge

I was trying to open a can of green beans and I was having a hard time with the pop top can. I finally got it to open but it opened too fast and I lost control of it and sliced my middle finger down to the bone. I had to go get several stitches and I still don’t have feeling in my middle finger on my left hand (it’s been about four years since this happened) because I injured the nerves. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 41
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I once had outpatient surgery.  No pain at all.  Got home and stubbed my toe on a printer on the floor because I was still woozy from anesthesia.  Sucker hurt for a week.

 

I was sleeping on the couch (I love sleeping on couches) and when the alarm rang while still woozy with sleep got up and tripped all the way to the other side of the room and sprained my ankle.

 

I’m seeing a theme here….

Post # 42
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Idk if it counts, but we’re in the middle of moving, and I just bashed my foot on a box, almost taking my toenail off! (It still hurts FYI) lol

I can think of two other dumb injuries in my life though: 

first, i was hurrying into a store to get my brother because we had to leave right away, and it was the type of enterance that had glass doors, I think they were supposed to slide open, but apparently they didn’t, and they were so clean and I was distracted, that I literally bashed through these doors (that were NOT supposed to open that way) they both swung inside, and my face really hurt! Not to mention that it was so massively embarrassing, I just turned and ran out! 

The other time (somewhat justified because I was a kid) I was sliding down the stairs with my siblings for fun, and ended up bruising my tailbone really badly. I couldn’t sit properly for like a month, it hurt so much! 

Post # 43
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

When I was like 7 my parents were shopping for a hot tub. One of the sales associates was watching my sister and me while my parents shopped. We were sitting in one of the empty hot tubs and I asked what would happen if I stuck my finger in the jet. The sales lady said she didn’t know. 

So, naturally, I just stuck my finger in the jet. The lady didn’t even attempt to stop me. When I pulled my finger out, something sharp in the jet sliced off a small, circular chunk of skin right down to the bone. It didn’t even bleed at first and then it just started gushing blood. I calmly asked for a band aid. Everyone was horrified. 

Now I have a scar that is a perfect circle on my index finger and I know what happens if you stick your finger in a spa jet. 

Post # 44
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I was in a store and put a fragrenced reed diffuser (the ones with the sticks coming out from the top) to my nose to smell it. I misjudged the sticks and stabbed myself in the eye. The stick actually went under my eyelid so as I pulled the jar away from my face the stick stayed there! To make it worse, those things have oil in them so after a few seconds my eye started to water non stop. I’m lucky that I didn’t do any permanent damage but it was so embarrassing at the time! I would love to have seen the stores CCTV footage ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Post # 45
Member
973 posts
Busy bee

I played paintball a lot as a teenager. I had a CO2 tank stuck in my back pocket of my shorts because I was too lazy to hold it like a normal human and the burst disk went, shooting freezing cold CO2. The whole tank was so freezing I couldn’t grab it with my hands to get it out. My only choice was to stand there and take it, or drop trou in front of the 30 plus grown men who were staring at me while I squealed. Well I left them on to save embarrassment, but the joke was on me when my dad had to come take me to the ER for actual frostbite on my butt. I couldn’t even sit down for the drive to the ER it hurt so bad.

Grabbed a cookie sheet out of the oven without oven mits.

Not painful, but I cut a huge chunk out of my hair while I was shaving my armpits because my hair fell down in the path of my razor.

Ive also broken my toes a million times. I kicked a set of weights I’d set down in the middle of a workout and broke a toe, and when it was finally almost healed I rounded a corner into a coworker and rebroke my toe on their foot.

My mom cut off the tip of my finger when I was a kid because I reached for watermelon while she was slicing it.  

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors