(Closed) Whats the etiquette-not attending shower or wedding. Do I send two gifts?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would not send a gift for the shower but maybe just a card for the wedding saying you are sorry you couldnt make it and congratulations, a GC of some sort or cash would be a nice gesture but not necessary.

Post # 4
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sure you’ll get a lot of opinions on this but if it were me, I would send a shower gift and a wedding gift.  I certainly wouldn’t spend as much as I would if it were a close friend, maybe a $30 shower gift off of her registry or gift card and a $75 gift off the registry for the wedding.  I wouldn’t send cash/check in this case.

Post # 5
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont think I would send a gift to either. Maybe just a card for the wedding

Post # 6
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I personally wouldn’t send a gift to either, for the reason that you’re not that close.  Send a card with your best wishes, but ettiquette doesn’t state you must send a gift.  If you want to send a gift, go ahead, but it doesn’t sound like you’re that close.

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with Marzipan to send gifts for both. It is polite to send for both. I still can’t believe some of my friends who were invited to my shower and didn’t come, simply didn’t send anything. Did they forget that for their showers, when I couldn’t come, I sent a gift? I believe that etiquette dictates that if you are invited to a shower or wedding and can’t go, you should send something.

 

Post # 8
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

id probably just send a card, and only to the wedding.  i dont know why brides think that everyone that cant make it should still send a gift.  if we were close, i would probably send a gift.  but then, id probably try my hardest to be there also.

card is fine, or 1 gift for both and something small – like $30.

Post # 9
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t send a shower gift, and depending on how well I know the couple, the wedding gift could be anything from a nice card to a check or something from the registry.

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t send a gift to either.  But, make sure you send in your RSVP card in a timely fashion.  I’d write a nice note in the RSVP card and wish her well in her new marriage, etc.

I think it would be a nice gesture to send her a wedding card – but since you aren’t close to her and it doesn’t sound like you care to maintain the friendship – I’d just leave it be.

Post # 11
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If I were in your situation I probably wouldn’t send a gift, and just make sure to write a nice note on the RSVP, and make sure to send a nice card for the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I personally would probably send a gift for both, because I pretty much always send gifts when I can’t attend showers and/or weddings. But I think in this case, since you two are not close friends, It’s fine to just send her a card or write something nice on the RSVP when you send it back.

Post # 13
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

You are not obligated to send a shower gift if you don’t go.  You could either send a card for the wedding or a reasonably-priced gift.

Post # 14
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would send her a wedding shower card.  For her wedding I would send a card with just something small in it- maybe $40/$50.

Post # 15
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would send both. I have friends who couldn’t come to my wedding and didn’t send a gift. Of course I’m not mad at them, but I still think it would have been nice.

Post # 16
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you receive an invitation, you should send a gift. End of story. If you don’t know the person very well, it does not need to be expensive or elaborate, but you should still send SOMETHING! 

The topic ‘Whats the etiquette-not attending shower or wedding. Do I send two gifts?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors