Post # 1
I am invited to a wedding in December for a girl who I have mutual friends with. We have known eachother for about 10 years but were never great friends-we just hung out because we had the same group of friends. Well, we haven’t talked in over 6 months, but for no particular reason other than I’m sure shes busy planning a wedding and I was busy buying a new home/moving. I invited her to a cook out this summer and she didn’t respond until 1 hour AFTER the party started. Anyways, the b/f and I just got an invite for her wedding in a few months and I am expecting an invite for the shower as well.
I don’t plan on going to either because I just moved out of state and don’t have the money/I’m not close to this girl. Whats the etiquette on sending a gift. Do I send a gift to the shower and a wedding gift? Or just one gift? And how much do I spend?
Post # 3
I would not send a gift for the shower but maybe just a card for the wedding saying you are sorry you couldnt make it and congratulations, a GC of some sort or cash would be a nice gesture but not necessary.
Post # 4
I’m sure you’ll get a lot of opinions on this but if it were me, I would send a shower gift and a wedding gift. I certainly wouldn’t spend as much as I would if it were a close friend, maybe a $30 shower gift off of her registry or gift card and a $75 gift off the registry for the wedding. I wouldn’t send cash/check in this case.
Post # 5
I dont think I would send a gift to either. Maybe just a card for the wedding
Post # 6
I personally wouldn’t send a gift to either, for the reason that you’re not that close. Send a card with your best wishes, but ettiquette doesn’t state you must send a gift. If you want to send a gift, go ahead, but it doesn’t sound like you’re that close.
Post # 7
I agree with Marzipan to send gifts for both. It is polite to send for both. I still can’t believe some of my friends who were invited to my shower and didn’t come, simply didn’t send anything. Did they forget that for their showers, when I couldn’t come, I sent a gift? I believe that etiquette dictates that if you are invited to a shower or wedding and can’t go, you should send something.
Post # 8
id probably just send a card, and only to the wedding. i dont know why brides think that everyone that cant make it should still send a gift. if we were close, i would probably send a gift. but then, id probably try my hardest to be there also.
card is fine, or 1 gift for both and something small – like $30.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t send a shower gift, and depending on how well I know the couple, the wedding gift could be anything from a nice card to a check or something from the registry.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t send a gift to either. But, make sure you send in your RSVP card in a timely fashion. I’d write a nice note in the RSVP card and wish her well in her new marriage, etc.
I think it would be a nice gesture to send her a wedding card – but since you aren’t close to her and it doesn’t sound like you care to maintain the friendship – I’d just leave it be.
Post # 11
If I were in your situation I probably wouldn’t send a gift, and just make sure to write a nice note on the RSVP, and make sure to send a nice card for the wedding.
Post # 12
I personally would probably send a gift for both, because I pretty much always send gifts when I can’t attend showers and/or weddings. But I think in this case, since you two are not close friends, It’s fine to just send her a card or write something nice on the RSVP when you send it back.
Post # 13
You are not obligated to send a shower gift if you don’t go. You could either send a card for the wedding or a reasonably-priced gift.
Post # 14
I would send her a wedding shower card. For her wedding I would send a card with just something small in it- maybe $40/$50.
Post # 15
I would send both. I have friends who couldn’t come to my wedding and didn’t send a gift. Of course I’m not mad at them, but I still think it would have been nice.
Post # 16
If you receive an invitation, you should send a gift. End of story. If you don’t know the person very well, it does not need to be expensive or elaborate, but you should still send SOMETHING!