(Closed) What's the etiquette thing to do here?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who should we address it to?
    Address it to John & Sara : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Address it to John & his brother : (7 votes)
    24 %
    Address it to John & guest : (17 votes)
    59 %
  • Post # 3
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m not an etiquette expert, but I say just address to John and guest. 🙂 You can’t go wrong there!

    Post # 4
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I would address it to john and his brother, and let sara know she will be missed. I would think it would be rude not to address the invitation to his brother and address it to her instead, because it might seem like you weren’t listening to them, and sara might feel like she has to explain to you again why she can’t come. I wouldn’t do “and guest” because they already told you he wants to bring his brother- just invite him! 

    Post # 5
    45627 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I didn’t vote as there is no “other” .

    If I already knew that Sara couldn’t attend, I would address the invitation to John and send a separate invitation to his brother-given that they are both adults.

    I would pop a short note into the invitation sent to John saying that we would miss seeing Sara at the wedding but understand that she has a prior engagement.


    Post # 6
    56 posts
    Worker bee

    I would address it to John & his brother. They already told you that his brother would be coming instead of Sara so in my opinion addressing it to John & Sara seems like you ignorned them when they explained their situation to you.

    Post # 8
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Since your specific question is about what to do here re: ettiquette, a lot of people voted “and guest” but apparently ettiquette guides us to always name people specifically on an invite. I like the PP idea of including the note about Sara and sending John a seperate invite!

    Post # 9
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @littlemiss604:  I would address it to Jon and Sara, then enclose a note saying, “Jon, please let us know if you decide to bring your brother instead of Sara — can’t wait to celebrate with y’all” or something like that!

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