@futurefishy: I was pretty shocked she went through with it after our conversation followed immediately by the tattoo artist saying he didn’t know “Native American writing”. Like, shouldn’t she have thought “Oh, maybe lia was right!”???
Anyway…. I’ve been thinking about bar/drinking situations. I have a few so it’s hard to pick. I’m going to share the two stories of how my friend Steve is to blame for my knee hurting everytime it rains….
Cruise: Steve was drinking in the casino all night. When he finally stood up his legs just went out from under him. Steve is 6’4″. I’m 5’3″ and had one other short friend, Dan, with me. Dan & I were trying to get Steve out of the casino but his tall body leaning on us while we climbed the stairs (elevator was too far away) was ridiculous. We got out to the outdoor deck, which was soaking wet for some reason. We all started slipping. Finally, Steven slips & falls to the ground, pulling Dan & I with him. Dan & I try to get up, but every time we start to rise, Steve panics and grabs us, trying to get up at the same time but instead pulling us back down again! This happened maybe a dozen times. I ended up laughing so hard I peed my pants! When we finally got up, Steve freaked out and went running along the deck, back to the stairs. I gave up and let him go. The next morning my sister said she found him curled up on the landing one floor from our cabin.
Japan: Steve & I went to Tokoyo for a week. The first night we went out looking for gay bars (Steve is gay and we often hung out in West Hollywood). Finding the gay bars is a story in itself… but we were pretty toasted by the time we found an English guy who took us to a club. Once there everyone wanted to be our best friends. Steve is like GQ stunning and being so tall he really stood out. Between people buying us both drinks to try to get in his pants, Steve acting like my sugar daddy getting me drinks all night AND this tiny Japanese dude who was obsessed with my boobs, I was pretty wasted. We stumbled out of the bar and somehow found a cab. I kept almost falling asleep but saw that Steve was passed out, so I tried hard to stay awake.
We finally got back to the hotel and there was no getting Steve out of the cab. The cabbie tried to help while a bellhop went into the hotel to get a wheelchair. I was in heels and a short dress but in my drunken state thought the best way to deal with it was to climb in the back with Steve, lay down on the seat and push him out with my feet. Yeah, that didn’t work. I got out, the cabbie stepped aside and I decided to wake Steve up— by slapping him repeatedly. The cabbie FREAKED OUT. I then tried pulling Steve out by his belt loops. When his jeans tore, I fell to the ground. Suddenly, Steve woke up and (because apparently, this is what he does when he’s wasted) he sprang from the cab & went running into the hotel.
I threw money at the cab driver, grabbed my shoes & went runnig after him. Being much taller, his legs are MUCH longer than mine and he had a headstart so when I saw him running through the lobby in the wrong direction, I just started yelling “RIGHT! VEER RIGHT!!!!” which he did. Thanks to his detour, we got to the elevators around the same time. We rode up 5 floors and got out. Somehow, the bellhop beat us there & was standing in the hallway with the wheelchair. Steve, however, was still determined that running was the only way to get anywhere & he ran to our door and collapsed. The bellhop helped me drag him into the room, where I left him on the floor for the night.
Did I mention this was a super fancy 5 star hotel? It was a good trip. 😛