(Closed) What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done in front of your FI? (WARNING: TMI)

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 242
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

my relationship with my boyfriend started off extreamly casually, and the second time we “hooked up” it was in a completely dark room and I guess sometime during I started my period. now we went pretty wild that night, and after I went downstairs to the bathroom and when I turned on the light both of my hands were covered in blood, and so was my face and my thighs almost down to my knees! it looked like I had murdered someone, so I clean up the best I could and then realized I was going to have to go upstairs and tell him. so I go up  and I’m all like, “I started my period, don’t freak out when i turn on the lights” I turn on the lights and it seriously looked like someone had pulled a lorainna bobit on him, blood everywhere! I expected him to be so grossed out that he would never talk to me again, but he thought it was the funniest thing in the world. about a week after that I was over at his house and had extreamly explosive diarreah in this bathroom, which was in a very small studio apartment. again he thought it was hillarious. now we live together and we just ordered my ring a week ago! 

 

Post # 243
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OMG I know this thread is years old now, but I had SUCH a laugh reading some of these stories! And I definitely have had a few embarrassing omg moments

Years ago, when I was dating someone else (we’ll call him AJ), I occasionally had really bad periods. Full-on, rip-through-your-abdomen cramps, flow that was worse than a raging river, etc. Well, one night, AJ picked me up in his mom’s mustang, and I kid you not, within 5 minutes of me sitting in that car, my tampon was forced out by the um (TMI) period, flooding my panties, jeans, and the car’s seat (fabric). Needless to say, I was utterly humiliated, grossed out, angry with myself, and felt SO bad that AJ was cleaning up the ‘evidence’ lest his mother though he murdered a puppy in the car or something. He never uttered a single complaint though.

I’ve got lots more stories, but Fiance wandered into the room to find out what I’ve been cackling at…..

Post # 244
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Zombies55:  Ahahahahaha! Reminds me of my ex, we were driving and the last thing I heard him say was ‘I need to piss like it’s my job!’ then he ‘went’. He spent the next few hours in my long black skirt while I washed and tumble dried his pants… AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Post # 245
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i have two stories. both are so mortifying. one story we can laugh about and the other, i’ve just never, ever brought up.

 

several years ago, Fiance and i went on a roadtrip around the US. we had literally only dated for probably a month. i don’t even think we were ‘official’ at this point (long story). anyway, everything was going amazing until i got the worst yeast infection of my entire life. i had only gotten one yeast infection before and it was pretty mild. this one though, was just out of control bad. since we were in the middle of god-knows-where, i couldn’t find a proper doctor so i decided to just do a monistat treatment. i was so scared to stick that wand up my vag that i begged M to do it for me. so there i was, lying stark naked on the bed, legs spread and M kindly did the honor. i warned him that it was going to look so gross and look almost scary. he didn’t say a word and did it really quickly like a pro. we can laugh about it now but i was SOOOOOO embarrassed. like, not only did he SEE my yeast infection, but he saw my vag just wide open with gross cottage cheese stuff going on. UGH.

 

fast forward to us dating for 2 years, we’re at his parent’s boat house. they have a bathroom on their boat but you can’t shit in it. so if you need to do any #2 business, you have to use the bathroom that everyone on the dock uses. well, FI’s dad had made an amazing dinner and everything was well. well, sometimes my stomach just reacts really horribly to certain foods for no reason at all. shortly after dinner, i just felt the worst gas/diarrhea pains of my entire life. like the ones where you’re sweating so hard trying to keep it in and your stomach is like so bloated that you look 8 months pregnant? well Fiance and i decided to go on a walk which i thought was perfect so i could use the bathroom. i was so shy about anything related to #2 that i told Fiance that i just needed to ‘pee’. he told me he would wait for me outside the door. it’s a one person bathroom so i go in and i literally cannot help myself and it is the loudest, most explosive #2 in the world. it probably sounded like nuclear bombs. i was SOOOOO mortified i was like literally sweating my ass off. because i KNEW he could hear it from just outside the door. i was so shy to walk out…and FI’s face looked like he had heard anything but he didn’t say a word.

 

cringing even now…

 

Post # 246
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@missebelle:  laughing and cringing for you! Poor thing that’s terrible.

Post # 246
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m sorry for bumping this, but it’s just TOO good not to!!!!

This actually happened tonight. ):

 

We both work flow at Target, and we’re still in the overnight time, so we go in at 10PM, and come out sometime after 6AM the following day. We got there, and I wasn’t feeling too hot, went to the bathroom, slight diarrhea, but it wasn’t terrible, and I assumed it was from the milkshake I had earlier. (I am lactose-intolerant, so I’m pretty used to it.) Fast forward about two hours, and I’m feeling SO nauseous it’s awful. I start to cough and gag, so I run to the bathroom (not too far away) and someone else in it, so I can’t get in. I end up puking in the hallway outside the bathroom, and I’m on my hands and knees. Luckily it was our best friend in the bathroom, but he just looks at me as if he’s shocked. In between tears and gagging I tell him, “I need Marc.” So he leaves the area, yells out my SO’s name. He’s pretty loud, so SO comes into the hallway pretty quickly, while I’m still on my hand and knees because I’m still vomitting. 

He rubs my back, helps me up and guides me to the bathroom while I continue getting sick, then he goes and cleans the puke up for me. Once he finished cleaning it up, he goes and tells the leader on duty that I need to go home, and then he walks me to the door. 

 

I ended up puking in the parking lot, but now I’m home and in bed. 

 

I’m SUPER glad I moved from Canada to the US for him, although I’m SOOOO embarrassed. 

Post # 247
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

Oh my god I have just read this entire thing and my stomach muscles are killing me from laughing so hard. I was in tears!

Post # 248
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This thread is great!  I know it’s years old, but I have something to add…

So I have IBS (Crohn’s disease) and I have to be comfortable with my digestion and talking about it so that my husband understands.  I told him probably within the first month of us dating that I deal with Crohn’s.  Anyway, my bodily functions don’t act as a normal person’s do so I have a bunch of ridiculous fart and poop stories.  We fart in front of each other and I tell him about my poop stories.

Anyway…a couple weeks ago we were sleeping and at 3 am I woke up to myself machine-gun farting in bed.  My husband BOLTS up, thinking it is our cat who has hairball issues and pukes all the time.  He yells: “CAT!!!  YOU’D BETTER NOT BE PUKING!!!!”  I start laughing hysterically and of course he has no idea what is going on because he is half asleep.  I explain to him that it was my rapid fire farts that apparently sounded like cat coughs………we still can’t stop laughing about it to this day.

Post # 249
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Lexatron :  “You shall not misuse the name of theLord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” Exodus 20:7 

goodness* is more fitting than God and Jesus’ perfect Names in vain. keep Them first, before it’s too late. and it will be soon.

Post # 250
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

OldestTree :  “You shall not misuse the name of theLord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” Exodus 20:7 

goodness* is more fitting than God and Jesus’ perfect Names in vain. keep Them first, before it’s too late. and it will be soon

Post # 251
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

missebelle :  *God knows where. capitalize 

 “You shall not misuse the name of theLord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” Exodus 20:7 

goodness* is more fitting than God and Jesus’ perfect Names in vain. keep Them first, before it’s too late. and it will be soon

 

Post # 253
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Funny thread….great to see it revived!!! Hubs and I are pretty open about stuff and don’t get too grossed out.

One time though I was asleep in bed alone and hubby got back from his night shift. I must of been constantly farting in my sleep that when he walked through the bedroom door to come to bed he got an overwhelming putrid smell of terrible fart that had ingrained itself into the room. He went to sleep in the spare room because the smell was so terrible!! He still goes on about that night That I evacuated our bedroom.

I have also told him to spoon me in my sleep and farted on his man bits literally a second later. I was asleep I have no recollection honestly but he said I smiled after I did it. I told him my sleeping self has a good sense of humour!!!

I have also peed in front of him whilst fishing. I was busting and it was too far to walk to the toilets or even to walk five metres to find a bush. I went literally a few metres away in full view and it wasn’t a nice dainty quiet pee it was full on one of those I’m noisy spraying peeing for a full minute and in quantities like Phar Lap!!! Oh the shame!!!….but he still married me so I think he secretly finds my farts amusing!!!

Post # 254
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - Disney\'s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa

When we were in high school I puked all over my Fiance during oral, in the backseat of my car. After that happens, nothing is gross anymore. We haven’t gotten pizza from Domino’s since.

Post # 255
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I once threw up in a bag, then proceeded to carry soggy bag into the bathroom to put in a (way too small) hotel bin.. this was during our wilder drinking days. :p

 

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