Post # 1
Okay, so I am totally new to this whole forum thing, however, I am turning here for some thoughts and help! My SO and I have been dating for 3.5 years, living together for 3. We have an amzaing relationship, are very much in love and have talked, on SEVERAL occasions about our future together. He is also the one who brings most of these conversations up! Anyways, I thought that he would have proposed on our 3 yr anniversay,which has obivously come and went, and I literally feel like I am getting more and more depressed as each day passes! Well, recently I got some reprive because he suggested to go look at some rings I might like. Yay right!!.. Well, that did help me for like 2 weeks, but now, back to the usual and I know that he doesn’t have the ring yet. We didn’t pick out an actual ring and he told me that he wants me to have final “say” on the ring, which is great except if I leave it to him to bring up “picking out the actual ring” it just doesn’t get brought up. I am starting to lose a grip because in my mind I feel like he has waited too long already. Also, all of my weekends now, I spend depressed because I know if we are just sitting at home, this could be time spent looking for a ring. I have had a few breakdowns recently and telling him all of this– and I feel that is probably making it worse, but it’s almost like I can’t help it!! If he suggested looking for a ring, then wouldn’t he be ready to proposed? And if he is ready to propose..then what’s the holdup??.. Any suggstions here would be greatly appreciated..:(
Post # 3
Hmm, since he said he wants you to have final say on the ring, I’m assuming that means he wants your approval on it before he buys it? In that case, my only theory is that he’s still trying to save up money for the ring.
Post # 4
@luvstoshopsd: First of all, welcome!
Second: no, just because he asked you to look at a ring (or even PURCHASED) a ring doesnt mean he’s ready to propose yet. I have seen countless stories on here of girls whose Boyfriend or Best Friend bought a ring and held onto it for a YEAR! My Boyfriend or Best Friend is buying my ring this week (possibly today) but there is a good chance he could wait until our vacation in August to do it…or he may do it when he gets it. Who knows? Some guys just take longer than others to get up the nerve or maybe they have something planned in mind.
Third: I know it’s a big bummer and it’s hard not to get sad, but do your very very best not to have these “meltdowns” in front of him. Come vent to us instead 🙂
Post # 5
@luvstoshopsd: Welcome!!! And hugs sweety, waiting is horrible and difficult and annoying! Have you guys discussed budget? If you have, then why don’t you look online or ‘casually’ look at rings. If you find the one then take a picture and tell him! At least that way, he knows exactly what you want and then all you must do is wait, which will bring you back pretty much to this point in time but at least some progress will have been made!
And yes, don’t have your breakdowns with SO, it puts unnecessary pressure on them and it makes it less exciting, kind of ruins it, thats how my Fiance explained it to me when I was bugging him too much, and trust me, after that I was quiet!!!
Post # 6
@LadyBlackheart: well u would think right!?…except i know he has the money..we are very lucky to be financially stable. Thabks for the reply!
Post # 7
@badabing88: congrats thats very exciting!..i think i would probably feel better if i knew he had it..or was planning on going to get it..!how exciting that he is going to go get it today!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Talking to us is useless. Go talk to him. Go ask him what his 5 year goals are. Ask him if he wants to marry you. Ask him about his other goals and dreams. Then talk to him about your 5 year goals and your dreams. Then start figuring out, together, how both of your plans fit together and what you both want the timeline to look like. This is your life. It is as much your decision as his.
Post # 9
I’m sorry you are feeling this way 🙁 But I just wanted to point out that sometimes it takes a few weeks to have the ring sized, and even longer if the ring is custom made. Keep your chin up!