(Closed) What’s the hold up…

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS))When are you graduating school? have the two of you talked about getting engaged right now or is that what you’d like to bring up?  the next time one of your friends get engaged you could let him know that you think it would be so cool to get engaged while you’re still in school because you’d have plenty of time to plan the wedding (wink wink)

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Guys do take longer to be ready to get married! Is he young too?

I just say this because my Fiance knew that he wanted to marry me but it took him longer than me to actually ready to be married!!!! We got together when we are 21 and now we are 26 and we only just got engaged!!!!

You have your timeline for when you want every thing to go down – talk to him about what his timeline is! That might give you a better idea of whether you guys are on the same page!

Post # 6
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That sounds just like me and my fiance! I’m 23 now and we’ve been together for a little over 4 years. We just got engaged in May – almost exactly 4 years after we started dating.  My FH takes his own time with everything he does – there is no rushing him in to anything. He takes slow, sure steps.  I brought marriage up when I was about your age and we’d been together about the same amount of time – same response – when not if. BUT I’m 5 years younger than him and he wanted to make sure we were both in a good place to start a family together. All I can say is – try not to rush him. If you guys are meant to be, then you can wait. And what’s better than that, if you do wait and when he finally does ask, you will know it is forever because he waited until he was sure and you had the patience to endure the wait.

I like the way you think – a long engagement is great so you can really enjoy the stage. On the same token, though, you have the rest of your life to be married so enjoy the pre-engagement stage! It’s worth-wile and fun too! Once you are engaged and/or married you’ll look back on it with fond memories πŸ™‚ 

Good luck! Trust me, I feel your pain! Waiting is tough!

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Unfortunately, there’s no rushing those boys! Maybe he’s genuinely concerned about you finishing school first… my parents said that if I got married before I finished, they wouldn’t pay for my to finish college. Sit down and talk to him about his goals for your relationship, it will be fine!

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

re this thread… http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/have-you-ever-broken-up-a-couple-by-accident       …. maybe i should have a word to him πŸ™‚

seriously, you say youre happy with a long engagement but to me that sounds like you want the ring and status a little bit too much. you said yourself you are “only 20” so whats the rush?   personally if my 26yr nephew (i have no children but 5 nephews from 31yrs & down) was being pressured to get engaged by a woman that is only 20 i would be very concerned

edit: rethought this, if your info is correct – i actually would be concerned about my (then) 22yr nephew being involved with a 16yr girl

 

Post # 10
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

sorry πŸ™ im gonna have to side with @eloping. while ims sure you guys are very in love, love is not enough to make a marriage work. he may have a lot in life that he wants to accomplish before he gets married. he probably assumes that you do too. i wouldve been freaked out if my Boyfriend or Best Friend was talking about getting married my sophmore year of college. dont stress this one too much because if you spend the next 2 years waiting for him to propose, you will drive yourself crazy.  if its meant to be, im sure it will work out.  maybe he will propose the day of your graduation.

Post # 11
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If only it were as simple as “we’re in love and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives!” I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 29. We’re ready to get married but we can’t. And that’s OK. I have a TON of stuff to deal with at the moment–oodles of college work, getting my career started, taking over responsibilities with the church youth group/choir, planning a baby shower for my sister, etc.–and my boyfriend is trying to short sell his house, is finishing grad school, and working hard to keep his career upwardly mobile, so it’s not like he has the cash to pop a ring on my finger and sit back and relax.

Since we’re still in the college phase, it’s not like we don’t have other things to worry about, you know? Just relax and concentrate on today’s priorities. It will happen and it will be AMAZING.

Also, to comment on the age difference thing…my boyfriend and I were at a baby shower last weekend. Virtually all of his friends have kids or are pregnant, since it’s that time of their lives. One of his friends said to him: “You know Mr. Minutiae, if you had picked the right girl the first time, you could have kids now too!” His response was: “If I had picked the right girl the first time, I would be in jail!”

LOL. Gotta love it.

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@minutaie… heheheheheh, i was thinking of that old line yesterday “15 will get you 20” πŸ™‚    theres a 7yrs age diff between my hubby and about 8 between my brother and his wife – i have no issues with age differences when one of the couple isnt a minor

Post # 14
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I totally feel your pain! I was engaged to my son’s dad at 20 and we had a long engagement which was fortunate for me because we grew apart. I must say that you are not a minor you are in school to advance your career and income-earning potential AND you want to be engaged to the man you love. There isn’t anything wrong with that! And I am an oldie around these parts at 29. I say don’t rush your boyfriend it will only end in hard feelings on both sides (speaking from experience)

Post # 15
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Crebre980 – my minor comment was because OP would have been 16yrs old and her boyfriend 22 when their relationship started, which has been pointed out to me that in florida it is not against the law

Lilybee – i dont mean to argue with you so i will bow out and wish you all the best

 

Post # 16
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@eloping: I wasn’t singling out your comment… I am sorry if you thought I was.I had to go back and reread everything! I was only saying that the OP is capable of making her own decisions as an adult.

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