Post # 136
greeneyedamber : Yeah this is a very high end resort, for only 3 days. I could see taking a week off and spending a decent sized chunk of change at the resort of our choice, location of our choice, etc… but this is basically a long weekend that is adding up rather quickly! I do know it is one of those situations where the guests pay for the room block and the B&G stay for free (for the week)
Post # 137
fromatoz : have you figured out what you’re going to do?
Post # 138
greeneyedamber : I’m going, I said I would when she asked me to be in the wedding party and before I knew about all of the associated costs with it. So, going and chalking it up to a learning experience on my end!
Post # 139
We are having a small destination wedding in Maui in july, and we would never do this to anyone attending (family or not). 2k+ is a lot to ask for.
We are having less than 20 people, mostly our immediate family and a few very close friends, and we are paying for their accomodations (they insisted on purchasing their own tickets, meals and entertainment). There is also a strict no gift policy. We both feel like even $700 for tickets + cost of living in Maui for a week is a lot. Someone mentioned that this is ok since people are technically going on a nice vacation, but I will disagree. It looks more like a forced trip than a nice vacation, since you are the one who sets the dates.
If you are considering a Destination Wedding, please run your plans by everyone you plan to invite first and give the guests enough time to prepare (at least 9 months to a year). Your guests should not feel obligated to attend something so expensive.
Post # 140
My brother got married in India and I didn’t go, neither did my dad or other siblings. We just didn’t want to use our money or vacation days for India. Plus we aren’t Indian/Hindu and he had already been married in the States months earlier which we all attended. My brother was very, very disappointed, but that can happen if you do a Destination Wedding where people don’t want to go or can’t afford. He had also told us only 8 months prior. No relationship was damaged because we didn’t attend. We are all still on good terms.
Post # 141
TBH I didn’t read all the pages.
But if you want to cut costs for the dog housing you could try getting a pet sitter, this website takes a sign up fee but it might work out cheaper because the actually sitting is free. https://www.trustedhousesitters.com
Could you also stay at a different hotel?
Post # 142
beemyhandsome : No, the resort we are staying at is hosting all of the “activities” for the party, so it’d just be a pain in the ass to travel back and forth from resort to resort. We just decided to bite our tongues and eat the cost.
Post # 143
We are having a destination wedding. It’s $1750 pp for a week, flights hotel and food/drink. The people who want to come are coming, those who can’t afford it… oh well. Our feelings aren’t hurt and nor should theirs. We couldn’t fathom spent $20,000+ on a few hours of fun and having months of planning and stress leading up to it. It’s our wedding so this was how we wanted to do it. It’s still going to cost us over $6000 but to spend that on a week and a beach holiday with our family and friends we could justify. The planning was easy, I called the travel agent, picked a day and wedding package, paid for it. Done and done. Now I have to get invites out and wait. With all that being said, I did talk to everyone I wanted in my line up first, just to feel out whether or not they would be attending. Then I asked if they would like to be in the wedding party. It’s not fair to put that stress on them if they can’t afford to come. We get it but this was affordable for us!! I would just tell her you can’t make it work. If she’s a true friend she would understand;)
Post # 144
fromatoz : I think that is about average. I don’t think paying 2-3k is too expensive for a destination wedding; I just know I personally could not afford it. The most I’ve ever paid for a destination wedding was $200, which was the cost of gas to drive there and ONE night’s stay in a hotel other than the wedding hotel. Maybe you could check to see if you could combine rooms with someone to save money or even stay at a less expensive hotel nearby. Good luck!
Post # 145
It depends on how much you value you the friendship. That resort does sound unreasonably expensive for a Destination Wedding though… Is there a cheaper option nearby?
Post # 146
I don’t think b/c you don’t make a friends wedding the friendship is over. Also I didn’t make one of my sisters wedding or the other sisters 2nd wedding and we were fine. We are still as close as ever but circumstances come up and sometimes people can’t make everything they want to.
Post # 147
Yikes. Unless the Destination Wedding is within a couple states drive or it was for my sister, I would be a firm no. Brides and Grooms can do whatever they want, but shouldn’t expect their guests to cover the cost of it.
Post # 148
I know this is late, but I just wanted to agree. Saying they are perfectly fine with declined invitations and totally understand the reasons is one thing , but the attitudes and behaviour following often say something quite other !
It often fairly obviously conveyed that you should ‘save up for it’ and/or that it is ‘a nice holiday for you’ .
Post # 149
I happen to live in Mexico. If you wish to save money the best thing you can do is find a cheaper hotel to stay at. Air B&B is going to be your absolute lowest best price in mexico.