Post # 121
“DWs are selfish.”
How dare you make your wedding about yourselves. How dare you!
I said it before, We really want a Off resort destiantion wedding because thats who we are.
We chose a Destination Wedding because it’s what WE wanted.
We sacrifice a guest list but, it’s not much of a sacrifice. I wouldnt care if it was just US.
We invited the people we love to come but we arent going to take it personally if they cant attend.
I love going on vacation with my family and friends.
Post # 122
metta1980 : i’m selfish right along with you! the wedding we’re having fits our personality, and while we’d love for all 175 of our guests to be there, we know it’s not going to happen. we’re not forcing anyone to fly down.
Post # 123
It would depend on who’s wedding it was and where it was. We would attend ‘destination’ weddings for FI’s family since they live interstate – But we would NOT travel to Bali, Thailand or Fiji etc. for someone’s wedding. We went to FI’s brothers wedding in New Zealand last year and it cost us just shy of $4000 (5 days!?)… Never again.
We may have considered attending destination weddings if we were still in our early to mid twenties but we have plans to save for a house and want to TTC in 2017 so we just couldn’t justify attending destination weddings at this point in time. We have more important things to spend our money and vacation time on…
Post # 124
juanita.kelly.9 : I definitely won’t be keeping such info from my guests! I have been very open about things!
Post # 125
fromatoz : ah I see, well I do agree with other posters that she should forgo the Bachelorette party (especially one like a 3 day cruise) so I think it should certainly be acceptable for you to decline attending that.
As for the wedding, I see that you have already decided to go so I don’t really think there’s any point to comment further except maybe you can find other ways to cut your expenses… can you find cheaper airfare from a nearby airport? (for me, flying into and out of an airport that’s 2 hours away is hundreds cheaper than flying out of my local so depending on the trip it can be worth it). and since you’ve already had to pay the hotel at least you won’t be incurring all of this huge expense at the same time and can spread it out a bit.
Since you’ve already made the decision and commitment to go, I hope you can have a good time on the trip, take some time out of the wedding hoopla for you and your husband to have some fun on your own, and just enjoy being able to be a part of your friend’s wedding. your friendship seems to be very important to her so I’m sure it will be mean a lot to her that you’re able to be there.
Post # 126
fromatoz : I was in a Destination Wedding in Mexico last year and we paid about 2400 for a room for a week….. The whole thing probably cost us like 6k. Including excursions and stuff (which were out choice to do) I loved my friend as was in her wedding party so we made sure we were there, however, it was very upsetting seeing how much we paid for everything to be there versus how little she paid to have her wedding there. It was all inclusive so the wedding dinner and drinks were included. She didn’t pay extra to have an actual reception, so she only paid for the ceremony…. And they got free nights at the resort since they got married there. We paid more to be at their wedding then they paid for their wedding, at the time we were really upset about it, now it doesn’t really matter that much.
Post # 127
I voted ‘other’ because if I had to pay for more than one night’s accommodation to be there I wouldn’t go. And at a hotel of my choice. Honestly I don’t care who you are, your wedding is not a priority to me. The only time I would travel to a wedding would be if I was going to make a holiday of it and stay a couple of weeks. But no, I have no intention on spending my money on someone’s Destination Wedding. Personally I find them hideously selfish. When we looked at a Destination Wedding it included flying all the guests and paying for the accommodation, etc.
Post # 128
RobbieAndJuliahaha : I hate it too. I get having to save for my wedding but it seems to be a relatively new thing where guests are now expected to save to be able to afford to attend other people’s weddings. If I get an invite to a Destination Wedding and the money isn’t there then I’m not saving up for a year and cutting things out to go or dipping into my savings, I’m just going to decline.
Post # 129
I’d only go to a destination wedding if the money is already there to go the day I get the invite and it’s not designated for something else. I’m not dipping into my savings and I’m not saving up for a year to go. Only my own wedding should require that level of financial saving.
Post # 130
Wow my mouth dropped open! $1300 for your accommodation is absurd- honestly I don’t think that is very fair to be asked to drop that much on your hotel!
Is there anyway that you could stay in cheaper accommodation or would that affect your experience there?
I know she is your good friend but I think the bride and groom should have considered the hotel cost before asking people to pay so much. I don’t think she can expect everyone to attend given the high cost. If that is their dream destination then I think they should have paid for the room cost or half of it!
Secondly, in terms of your own wedding and planning a Destination Wedding, I would not let this experience turn you off entirely. I am also trying to plan a Destination Wedding and guest cost is a massive consideration. We are hoping to rent houses (way cheaper than hotels) and pay for housing for our immediate family – it is already going to cost them so much to attend so I think it’s a really nice gesture.
Another 2 good tips I’ve come across for planning a more affordable Destination Wedding for your guests are:
1. Tell your guests that their presence is their present- that you don’t expect a gift because they’re travelling to share your special day.
2. Keep a lump sum in your budget for VIPs who you must have there- who will need help paying to get there etc.
Post # 131
littlemisspiggy : We have already decided against as Destination Wedding and will be married locally. We just could not justify the cost for our friends and family.
As for the wedding, all of the “activities” for the bridal party that I am in will be on-site at the resort. There will be a spa day, brunch, etc… so, staying offsite is just going to complicate things more and cost even more $$$ in transportation between resorts.
Post # 132
There is no chance that I would go to a destination wedding unless it was immediate family (I’d still be pissed at them for having a DW). You’re in a tough spot- perhaps look into different accomodations, like an AirBnb or something to make it less money. You’re only obligated to be at the ceremony/reception, not to stay in an expensive resort.
Edit: I just read your above post. Thats rough, I’m sorry 🙁
Post # 133
Our vacations are usually around $1,200/per person and those are like 5 days (we have done Las Vegas and Disney World). I would not exceed $700/per person for a Destination Wedding, especially if it is only 3 days. It would have to be a very close family member for me to try and find that kind of cash.
Post # 134
For a best friend, I’d spend $2000-3000 for both my husband and myself. I would not spend $2000-3000 EACH. What I’d try to do is get a bigger room so that we could stay with other people and save some money. If that’s possible.
Post # 135
fromatoz : i gotta be honest. Mexico is a dirt cheap vacation! Unless you’re going to resorts and eating fancy meals. A yr ago my SO other and I went to cancun for a week then to cabo for 3 days, (in the same trip) stayed in pretty nice hotels, ate out part of the time, went to the ruins, rental car, did activities, etc etc and it cost us $3,000 for us together. Drinking there is super cheap. Like 50 cent beers and margaritas. I have to agree with others who say the guests pay for a big chunk