Post # 76
Post # 77
$700 is INSANE for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I’d probably quit if I was your bridesmaid and you had the nerve to even ask me to spend that much on the dress.
It’s great that your Fiance wants to be involved but he should NOT be picking the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. I’d be a pretty ticked off bridesmaid if what the groom liked was trumping what I liked, considering that I’d be the one actually wearing it. SOunds like he’s going a bit groomzilla here, please try to bring him back down to earth and let him know that you and the girls will be choosing their dresses, and while you will not choose anything you know he would really dislike, it would be extremely selfish of you to expect them to spend more than a couple hundred on the dress.
Post # 78
Are your friends Doctors, Lawyers, Hedge Fund Managers, and Professional Athletes?
Is this wedding taking place a Westminster Abbey and will you be the Duchess of anything afterward?
If your answer to one of the above questions was no, forget the $700 dress
Post # 79
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I think asking your bridesmaids to pay $700 is totally okay… if you’re willing to pay $500 or more of it yourself. I think $200 is about the max before you have to start asking if your bridesmaids are particularly wealthy and particularly big spenders. If a bride asked me to pay $700 for a bridesmaid dress, I would absolutely have to back out.
Post # 80
Use FI’s suggestion as your ‘inspiration’ piece. Look for something in that style that has a significantly lower price tag. But first and foremost get your BM’s budgets so that you don’t fall in love with something that is out of their price range again. $200 to someone with a nice job and minimal bills with no children is different than $200 to a one income household with kids, or to a college student. That is why knowing the budget is so important.
Post # 81
I commented earlier but I just wanted to add that if you are totally set on having some high fashion couture bridesmaid dress, then why don’t you check out sites like gilt group, rue la la, ideeli, and bluefly? You can probably find some gorgeous high end designer gowns that were originally $700 going for a lot closer to $300.
Also, unless your bridesmaids are the type of women that often spend $700 on an item of clothing, I don’t think you should even ask them unless you are planning to contribute to the total. My friends all do fairly well and I can’t imagine any of them being ok with spending that much on a bridesmaid dress.
Post # 82
Mine were ~$300, but I offered to buy them. My friends just aren’t into the bridesmaid thing, and I didn’t want to ask them to spend any money on it. One chose to though. If I was dead set on $700 dresses, I’d only even float the idea if I was ready to pay for them.
Post # 83
$700 is more than my wedding dress cost.
I would say $200 is the most I’d expect to pay for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. It’s sweet that your fiance wants a say, but if you value the relationship with your BMs or unless you’re going to pay $500 toward each of their dresses, he isn’t going to get his way on this one. 🙂
Post # 84
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’m a lawyer. I still wouldn’t pay $700 on a bridesmaid dress. Maybe ask if your friends are single, child-free, debt-free senior partners at mega lawfirms and have no other financial obligations or goals and it might not seem like such a stretch. 😉
Post # 85
I was in a wedding once where the dress was $285 and that urked me because I had to pay for alterations and my shoes and hair
Post # 86
The most I ever paid was close to $300 w/ alterations. It was a dress I never wore again.
If your BM’s have issues with the costs, then offer to help – pay half or ???
I really think it’s rare that a Bridesmaid or Best Man will get more than one use out of the dress. Even if it’s ‘wearable’, it has to be their style to be worn again – and usually, it’s not (even if a Bridesmaid or Best Man may like it as a BM’s dress).
Post # 87
It is absolutely gorgeous, but people are kidding themselves when they think the girls will re-wear the bridesmaid dresses. And how many formal events do these un-employed and students go to?
To answer your question, the most I have spent was $350 – I was fine with that, but for sure would have said something if it was twice that!
Post # 88
I’m only going to ask my BMs to pay $100 for their dresses– if it goes over that, I’ll be footing the rest of the bill.
Post # 89
$700 is way too much for a bridesmaids dress, and if a bride ever asked me to pay that much I think I’d be 2nd guessing whether I even wanted to be in the wedding. My thoughts would be like “Holy cow! She wants us to spend $700 on just the dress?!?! How much else is she going to expect us to shell out? She’s not taking my life into consideration…$700 for me is almost 1 month of rent. And on what planet could you wear that dress again??? You know how my life is just full of black tie dinners and such.”
I’m just giving you my perspective on what I’d think if I was one of your bridesmaids. I know it’s your FI’s idea, but you definitely NEED to make him understand that asking for something like this is not going to make your day better…in fact it would most likely make the people you are closest to resentful for expecting so much from them.
Post # 90
No offense to your Fiance….but he needs to butt out of this decision. Yes, it’s nice he’s so interested but seriously, this is one of the decisions that guys really have no frame of reference.
Be nice to your girls (esp. the unemployed one), and find something else.