(Closed) What’s the “normal” amount for a cash gift?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My DH brother gave us $1000. I thought it was overly generous, especillay because he still lives with his mom.  But some famililies are different when it comes to $$. After reading your post, I think a good compromise would be $500. Still VERY generous but not ridiculous.

Post # 4
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Personally, for me, in that exact same situation I would give 1K. Had I not had to travel, fly and book hotel rooms I would likely give more.

This is his sister. Not cousin or friend. Sister.

But, I also think that it is probably more than what the average person would give for even a sister.

But if your friend really feels that giving 1K and all the travel would put the family in a financial hardship she should talk to her husband about it. If he’s adamant about giving that much then they need to cut elsewhere to make up for it.

Post # 5
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, that’s a lot of money, it’s one thing if they can afford it but with what they are spending I’d agree that’s over the top. I gave my cousin $150 for his wedding last year and the most I’ve ever spent on a wedding gift was $200, but that’s all my budget will allow.


Post # 7
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, I consider myself a somewhat generous wedding present giver but $1,000 seems outrageous to me. It is one thing if you are very wealthy. However, in that situation, I’d probably give about $500 (since there are five attending the wedding). 

Post # 8
3135 posts
Sugar bee

I give $1.00 just based on priciple that they ASKED for cash. I’m sorry but I just can’t swallow that people do that.  I don’t give a shit what you’re trying to pay off.

Post # 9
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sorry, but gifts for a wedding are to go toward building a home together, not paying off your student loans. That alone is beyond the realm of good manners for them to even ask for cash to pay those off. Maybe you should pay them off first BEFORE having a big wedding if it’s that important you get them paid off! Jeeez.

I feel for your friend. This is a lot of money to spend already, which I’m sure she does not begrudge her husband spending since it IS his sister’s wedding. But to then say, I’m giving $1000 of the money you mostly made to help my sister pay off her student loans? I’d draw the line and get them a gift for their home. 

Post # 10
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

Who’s paying for the wedding of people who need help to pay their bills? Is her brother adding up the old ‘cover the cost of your meals’ line of thinking for the 5 of them?

We give $500. for my neices and nephews, but for most weddings (depending on who they are) we give $250.

Post # 11
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmm. I tend to agree with most of the above posters – this is his sister, and if their finances allow it, erring on the side of being generous to close family is never a bad idea. In my part of the country (NY/northern NJ, where admittedly salaries are higher than in many other areas, although COL is too) $1000 to an immediate family member would be generous but not abnormal or inappropriate. But if she really feels uncomfortable with how her husband is spending her money, she’s got to have a serious talk with her husband, it sounds like this might be a bigger issue than just the wedding gift…

Post # 12
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That seems very high and generous.  DH brother (single) gave us 400, and sister (with FI) gave us 600.  Grandparents gave 800.  So I think 500 is very generous given the fact of travel expenses, etc.

Post # 14
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its generous but do not see it as being over the top, since it’s her brother.  But then, if it’s 5 people who are attenting this wedding..really 1K is reasonable ($200/person).

When/If my sister gets married I wouldn’t be giving her anything less than 1k.

Post # 15
10361 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We gave my husband’s sister $1000 for their wedding. I think, if you can afford it, it is normal to be generous with family. My brother only gave us a card, though, so it definitely depends….

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