Post # 1
When I started this whole wedding planning process, I figured my mom and I were going to butt heads on everything. For the most part, to my surprise, we’ve been getting along. But my problem now stems from lack of attention.
I’m the oldest of three, and the only girl. My brother got married last year, and my other brother is now a senior in HS. He swims for the local swim club, which is also where mom works part-time.
Her attention is almost always devoted to him. And it’s gotten annoying. I look to her for guidance on how to do the escort cards this afternoon. She says “we’ll have to play around with them later”. I have a limited number of trials before I have to buy a new packet, I had some I was messing around with, and she said to do it later because she was working on swim stuff (outside of the office).
Then this evening, I wanted to try to figure out what to do to feed the bridal party the morning of. She takes my printouts to the office, saying she’s getting her glasses. Then I go to look for her, and she’s on the computer working on swim stuff!!
Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive, but I feel like I can’t say anything to her, because I’m the one being rude. My fiance can’t help me out because he’s stationed in DC while I’m here in FL.
Sorry if this brings anybody down. I just needed to vent, and/or see if anybody is in a similar situation.
Post # 4
If it makes you feel better, my Mom seems like she could care less. She may not even fly in for it. She doesn’t even ask how it’s going. At least my Mister’s Mom has been really great about everything she even went to try dresses on with me.
It does suck! I never was the type to dream of my wedding day as a kid, but the one thought I had was that at least my Mom would be really siked. It’s weird because you think that’s what Mom’s are supposed to do.
Try not to let it bother you. Maybe you should not ask for her help so much if it’s only going to make you feel negleted. Both are waaaay easier said than done. I know.
Post # 5
Reading your entry I feel for you. YOu feel that in this process of wedding planning your mother should still be more involved, especially since you are the only girl . However, like anything wedding and party planning take a toll on people including the organizer (thats you). You mention that your brothers wedding was last year so she is probably still recooperating from that wedding, if she had anything to do with it.
Your mother probably feels that you have a grip on things, and therefore feels that she can let you be.
Have you ask her for opinions on wedding items than gone the opposite direction. I tend to ask my Fiance for his opinion and go against his so now he votes but says “I pick whichever one you don’t “
Not to be disrespectful but your mother still has a life other than a wedding going on just like you try to sympathsize with her .
Take care and let us know what happens
Post # 6
@mareundarum: Sorry you are having to go through this. Most brides want their moms to be there throughout the process. Maybe you need to take her aside and let her know how you feel. She may be so busy, that she has not realized what she is doing. Perhaps, she does not realize how close the wedding is at this point. I would try and talk to her. If you feel better, put your words into a letter or email. This way, you can get everything out…without getting too emotional. Also, could you future Mother-In-Law help? If she is near by, I am sure she would like to help out. Lots of moms miss out on the fun stuff, because they only have sons.
Post # 7
Maybe you could set up a day (well in advance) for your mom to come to your place to help with wedding stuff. If she’s at your house, then she wont get distracted by the work she brings home.
If that’s not a possibility, maybe just talk to her about it (not in a confrontational way!) Just mention that you’ve been really stressed and would really like her help/input on some of the wedding projects you are working on and ask her if she could set aside an afternoon to focus on that?