(Closed) What's the point of a bridal shower?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Lol in my opinion it is just another excuse to get gifts.  I don’t really understand it all.  All the people going to the shower are already invited to the wedding right, so wouldn’t they give you a wedding gift? 

Post # 4
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I find a few things associated with weddings a little ridiculous because like your question, what’s the point of them? even with the bachelor(ette) parties … so many threads from upset, fearful brides, so why do they keep doing it? Just because it’s what you do? I rather NOT do what is going to make me upset.

Post # 5
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

@Mrs.babycat:  +1

 

Seriously so people can spend more money lol

Post # 6
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s to get presents.  That’s why I’m not having one.  Hopefully that doesn’t come off as judgey…because I don’t think less of anyone for having them and think if they want to then why not.

In fact, I think if you wanted to hold a “give me presents” party just for the hell of it, no wedding involved, I wouldn’t think anything of it. I don’t really care.  And if I liked the person enough I’d bring a present ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I have no idea if there is an actual point to it, maybe for the gifts, I guess.  I’m not having one…at least I don’t think I am, since I live far from my family and my mom/MOH/sisters haven’t mentioned anything to me.  I’m not registered for gifts either so having a bridal shower would be pretty odd, I think.  I really want a bachelorette party though, and no, not with strippers or those stupid “dare” lists where you have to get people to buy you drinks or kiss some bald dude, that’s nasty.  I want to go to dinner with my BMs and mom and then maybe go to a dueling piano bar or something and just hang out…I don’t do that kind of thing enough these days, so it will be nice to have a girls’ night like that before the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

the traditional bridal shower was for female members of the family to help the couple start their lives in a new home together after they get married (hense all the household items..). it is also basically the whole point of a registry too, so that guests can bring gifts the couple actually needs and so they don’t need to lug a huge item to the actual wedding. i don’t get people who make registrys without showers or have showers without gifts though. a shower is totally the norm where i come from and it never even crossed my mind not to have one.

bachelorette parties are for friends (maybe some family members like cool moms or aunts) but the only gifts given there are like lingere or alcohol. it’s more like a “girls night out.”

Post # 9
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It was also used to give tips to the bride on how to be a good wife, to give her things for her new home and to educate her about the wedding night ๐Ÿ˜‰ back in the day

Yep, not a tradition in the UK, wasn’t aware of gifts for the hen night either, haven’t come across that before ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2753 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Someone else said this in another post…there was a Victorian custom of putting gifts inside of a parasol thus “showering” the bride with gifts when she opened it. Hopefully small, soft gifts, ha. 

The past bridal showers I have been part of concentrated mostly on “womanly” household gifts. The hostess got the BM’s to chip in and got the fancy decorative towels that matched the stuff on their registry and made a towel cake with them. In one shower, each of the BM’s was “assigned” a theme for the kitchen gifts. I got “baking” so purchased a cookie pan, cupcake pan, and spatulas and whisks. That party was a little overtop for my taste, but oh well.

Post # 13
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Welp, that really is the point for us. Everyone is different though.

I’m having one, but not a full-blown bridal shower big to-do. I’m an out-of-state bride, so I’ll be coming a week early so we can have a shower the weekend before. Yes there is gift giving at the shower, but the women in my family are very close. I’m talking moms, aunts, great aunts, cousins, female in-laws, literally every female, blood or otherwise. We are like a tribe of matriarchal figures, and the bridal shower is a party for all the women and girls of any age. We get together for a light lunch, play games, talk about married life and the wedding, complete any last wedding projects, and the older women share with the bride any special family recipes.

It is a ritual that I personally did not want to do without. When we were trying to decide whether to even have one, I told them I don’t want the presents, it should just be for the fun and getting together with them all one last time before I’m a married woman, and there need not be any decorating or special stuff, just our usual get-together, but with a theme,  which is not uncommon for us to do anyway. I know it’s sentimental. I don’t believe tradition should exist for its own sake, but it serves its purpose in my family, where the women enjoy all getting together like this on a semi-regular basis. Seriously, sometimes we rent a big cabin for all the ladies to have a weekend away together. We have makeover night, board game night, margarita night…you name it! If we didn’t get together for our 25+ female pow-wow to celebrating the coming marriage (especially with me having lived in another state for a couple of years), you’d have to wonder if something is seriously wrong to keep us from one another. That said, I realize many (most?) families probably aren’t like this. I’ve never met anyone who had the kind of multi-generational female bond that exists in my family.

As for the bachelorette party, only the younger/un-married/recently married/no children women attend (due to the others’ obligations, not any rule), so in my family, anyone from the ages of 21-30 or so, and my bridesmaids and any other friends I’d like to hang out with.

Post # 14
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m totally having a shower….waited a long time to be a bride and went to so many showers along the way.  I just think its nice to get your loved ones and friends together to dote on the bride ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

We’re doing a kitchen gadget and recipe shower, where everyone will bring their favorite recipe for me to add to my recipe book.  Its this Saturday, I’m excited!

Post # 15
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In this family:

 

the shower is all about the old bitches trying to outdo themselves and give gifts that will one-up somebody else.

 

I seriously hope this tradition completely dies out soon.  I HATE bridal showers with every fiber of my being.  Which is pretty sad, it should be a fun little party where all the ladies can get together and some fun, but in this family it ends up being a big honking female pissing contest.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a “tradition” and many people are caught up in traditions. I also think it can be a great time for all the women (and men, in the case of coed showers) that are extremely close to the bride to get together and celebrate before the big day. In the case of a Destination Wedding where not everyone can afford to go, the shower is a nice “instead of” occasion. Of course, for some people, it’s just a gift grab.

I personally didn’t have one and didn’t want one. Several people wanted to throw one for me but 1) I’m not all that traditional 2) we only invited people we were close to to the wedding 3) we didn’t have a Destination Wedding and 4) we didn’t need extra gifts. One wedding gift, if that, was perfectly fine.

@BridieBea:  That is awesome. I’m totally guilty of acting in a similar fashion and researching something until the cows come home.

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