Post # 1
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
Quick backstory: I went out on a few date with this guy back in 2006, 2007 and we’ve always kept in light touch. Like facebook “how are you’s?” and picture liking. Occasionally we’d have a conversation on there just to catch up.
We both got engaged around the same time, so have had several conversations back and forth. He then asked me my address. My fiance and I received a STD for his wedding! I think it’s the weirdest thing. I don’t even know his fiance! To boot, I haven’t seen him in about 7 years, and we were never really good friends. I have NO idea why I’m being invited!
My fiance doesn’t think we should go, but I’m on the fence.
If I don’t, AM I OBLIGATED TO SEND A GIFT??????????
Post # 3
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
@BurlapnLace: go if you want, but no I don’t think you need to send a gift if you don’t go!
Post # 5
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t send a gift. It’s weird that they even invited you and seems like they are either trying to fill seats or get more gifts or something. Why else invite someone you have only seen in person a few times and not for 7 years??
Post # 6
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@BurlapnLace: If you’re a social being, know other people that are attending, and are free that night – why not go?
Otherwise, decline because that’s weird as shit and send a modest gift. I just participated in another thread where it was the concensus that you should send a gift to a wedding you’re invited to.
When I was engaged I got one of these invites (friends that got engaged at the same time and occasionally talked about planning and wedding problems but hadn’t see neach other since high school) and I attended hers, she attended mine and we got each other modest gifts, like $30-50 range.
Post # 7
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
You don’t need to go or send a gift. Maybe a congrats card if you really want to..
Post # 8
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
@BurlapnLace: I don’t think you’re OBLIGATED to send a gift, but I probably would. Just because I wouldn’t want to actually go, so a present instead of my presence would work for me 🙂
Post # 9
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
I’d decline and send a card, no gift.
I get irked when mere acquaintances invite me to their wedding. It’s like they just want warm bodies (and possibly gifts).
Post # 10
Member
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Everyone I have “Hi how are you?” conversations with on Facebook got invited to my wedding – the difference I guess is that they were all people I’d seen in person in the last, eh, 2-ish years.
Maybe he doesn’t have many people he chats with, and because you guys catch up pretty often, he considers you a good friend? Guys’ brains work a little different. I wouldn’t read too much into it. He likes you, he invited people he likes. The end! Whether you go is up to you, but I don’t think you’re obligated to send a gift if you decide not to.
edit: And I was NOT gift-grabbing by inviting acquaintances… I’m just an introvert with only a handful of good friends who were all bridal party, and I wanted more people there my age to dance with. Anyone who thinks that inviting people is gift-grabby is being awfully judgey.
Post # 11
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
I wouldn’t go unless I knew other friends that may be there, in which case it could be fun. Otherwise I’d decline and send a card with a modest check or gift card.
Post # 12
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
It’s very weird b/c I feel like he’s filling seats with people who live locally.
When I was friends with/went out with him, he was at a military academy near where I live. His family lives in Boston, originally from Ireland, he and his fiance now live in Texas. The wedding is at the academy up here in NY sooooo…I guess he figured he’d invite whoever he thought might be local??
Cannot make sense of it!!
Post # 13
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
That’s pretty bizarre! I wouldn’t go or send a gift.
Post # 14
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
Yeah sounds like he’s seat filling. That’s unfortunate that they don’t have a lot of people to attend. I probably wouldn’t go as it would be awkward, and to be honest I wouldn’t send a gift either. I would feel that the invite was just gift grabby/seat filling rather than sincere so I wouldn’t feel the need to.
Post # 15
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Eh, that’s not the kind of relationship where I would have invited someone, but I don’t think it’s super weird. I have some good friends from college that I don’t speak to much any more and have occasional texts/facebook messages with that were invited to the wedding (thought I’d seen them all at least in the last few years). And I’ve both been to weddings of an ex and invited an ex to my wedding, so that part isn’t weird to me. Honestly, I enjoy weddings, so I’d go just because I’d likely have fun. But do whatever you want. If you don’t want to go, don’t go and send a card or modest gift.
Post # 16
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
@letigre: +1
I would also decline and send a card.
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