(Closed) What’s the reasoning behind Mrs. Husband First and Last Name?

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 3
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I could be completely wrong, so someone please correct me if I am.  It was my understanding that if a woman didn’t want to go by “Mrs. John Smith” than Ms. was used instead of Mrs. (so Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith).  So, Mrs. is associated with using your husband’s name socially and Ms. is if you use your first name socially.



Post # 4
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I could be wrong, but I *think* it’s because historically, “Mrs.” meant “wife of.” So if the husband is living, you would be Mrs. John Smith, wife of John Smith. I personally hate that custom and think it erases the identity of the wife, but I realize that lots of people don’t see it that way.

Post # 6
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’ve heard also that “Mrs Jane Smith” is the way widows are addressed according to traditional etiquette.

Honestly though, with the feminist movement and all, the value that people place on traditional etiquette (or the value that they see in it) is changing.

We choose to go with Mr and Mrs John and Jane Smith when we were announced at the wedding.

This is for your save the dates? Are you already married? If you’re not married yet it might look a little weird to be going by Jane Smith (instead of your maiden name). Or to be going by Mrs, since you’re not yet, you know?

Post # 8
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I absolutely hate that the woman gets completely left off of that formal address so we did Mrs.Jane and Mr. John Smith. I dont know where it comes from…and etiquette wise I could care less….haha.

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