(Closed) What’s the rudest RSVP reply you’ve gotten?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
46 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

omg! that is so terrible.  good for you for giving homophobic relatives an opportunity to be loving and inclusive, even if some of them chose not to be.  I think it’s very classy to not make assumptions for people based on their past poor behavior, and open that door so that everyone involved can remember who chose to be ridiculous about things.

I think the rudest responses we’ve gotten have been more about the lack of responses than unecessary comments.  We are having a smallish wedding (less than 85 people) and only invited close friends and family, so I was very surprised by how many people never returned their cards — especially people who are definitely coming.  My favorite lack of response has been from my aunt’s second husband’s semi-estranged son (ok, so not *all* “close friends and family” — they live nearby and we invited them as a courtesy to my aunt and uncle) who gave us the shock of a lifetime when they decided to come and told everyone it was a done deal except us.  When we never got the RSVP card, I called my aunt, who confirmed that they were coming, so we put them in our final count to the caterer.  Just in time for their card to come rolling in, 2 weeks late.  They’re not coming after all.  Curses!

Post # 18
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

oh em gee.  I just got one last week!  It’ll probably be the only bad one though.

Started off with Fiance asking his dad (FFIL) if we needed to invite his step-uncles (only sees them at xmas) and Future Father-In-Law said “No, don’t worry about it, they wouldn’t be able to make it anyway”  So we didn’t.

Invites go out, FI’s step-mom makes a big issue about how FI’s step-sister hadn’t gotten her’s the day they got theirs (big, whiny baby, this woman is!) and called to make sure that FI’s step-sister and brother were invited.  They were, and she was calmed for the second.  She then asks if her brothers were invited.  Fiance said “No, dad said I didn’t need to”. She was fine after he mentioned his dad.

We get his step-grandparent’s RSVP in the mail.  “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor”  #attending = 3

Names of attendees:

___Step-grandma, step-granda, step uncle__


UGH.  Fiance calls them, gets step-grandpa on the line and proceeds to explain how we really don’t have the space capacity for anyone who wasn’t invited.  Step-grandpa HANGS UP ON HIM. 

Step-mom calls Fiance the next day about something or other and proceeds to tell Fiance that her mom (step-grandma) called crying about how her sons weren’t invited, blah blah blah.


Ugh.  This is the same family I complained about RSVP’ing 11 extra people to FI’s cousin’s wedding!

Post # 19
21 posts
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh, the rudest one I got by far was from DH’s parents friends who they insisted we invite.
We addressed the invite to the husband and wife (not family).  When we got the RSVP back they checked the attending box and in # of seats they put 10!!!  10 people?!

So I ended up sending a nice email stating that we don’t have the room, etc. for 10 guests and they responded stating that Father-In-Law should start working some more OVERTIME to help pay for the wedding!

Needless to say, they didn’t come and that friendship was over.

Post # 20
15 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ohmygosh…I am just sitting here addressing my outter envelopes cracking UP…thank you all SO much for forewarning me how idiotic people can be!!!!!  I did honestly laugh at a few of them (and I hope someday we all look back and laugh at these things…) but holy moley…people are NUTZ!!!!

Post # 21
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

So sad and unfortunate that people feel the need to take their own personal issues and use it to rain on your special day!

We haven’t sent out invitations yet, here’s hoping all goes well when we do.

Thanks to this post though, I think I’ll be sending back RSVP’s in the future with a happy little personal note….maybe it’ll help combat any negativity that people may get.  I had no idea people would ever be so cruel on an RSVP!!

Post # 22
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had a rude one.   FIs aunt was mad (and we DO know she’s mad…) because we didn’t invite any of our MANY cousins to our less-than-50-people wedding so she triple underlined the “un” in the unable to attend. 

I just think: if they are the kind of people who would punish a couple for having a more affordable, small wedding, I don’t want them there.  We’re having a picnic in the summer for extended family and friends we want to celebrate with and neither they nor their adult daughter will be invited (daughter/cousin ranted on facebook about what rotten people we are for this, so she’s lumped in with her parents).

Over all: not nice on their parts.

Post # 23
572 posts
Busy bee

The rudest is those that RSVP yes and then do not show at all. We had folks mad that they were not invited and showed us exactly why they should not have been.

I am sorry that people who you invited to your wedding are treating you so badly. I would try to simply be thankful that they will not be there in person to TRY to ruin your day.

Be positve and focus on your happiness.

Post # 24
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I have heard people who have not RSVP yet complain to my mother because they dont like the date but I have only gotten 2 back so far

I’m sorry people are being so terrible to you do not let it put a shadow on your beautiful day you will be better off without their negativity there 🙂

Post # 25
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I never had a rude RSVP, but I did have a couple of rude comments at my reception when I was married the first time (to a woman).

During dinner, my uncle came into the reception room. Not having seen him earlier, I got up to greet him. When I asked if he just got there he said “no” and added that he was there earlier (for the ceremony) but it was too intense so he and an aunt went to the bar. While she was sitting drunk at the family’s table, he proceeded to tell me, in the middle of my wedding reception, that marriage is between a man and a woman.

I smiled and said, “I’m sorry you feel that way. Thank you for coming. Why don’t you have a seat and eat your dinner.” Then I went back to the head table and said, “Guess what I just learned!”

We also had a family member suggest that we find good churches because “We could really use the help.”

So sorry you are dealing with this. Remember that your wedding is about your love the people who love and support you. This is just a difficult way to find out who those people are. *hugs*

Post # 26
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The rudest have not been in the comments (so far), but my cousins and aunt that I used to be close with have responded “NO”. Something completely ridiculous happened last fall (the short story: I told my cousin to be nice to my sister and to stop being a bully, because she has always been so mean to her. Yet this cousin has always looked up to me despite me being 4 years younger. Thus she was so upset when I told her this and called my other cousin bawling. This tore my mom’s side of the family apart. So stupid and makes absolutely no sense if you ask me). I will never speak to that side of the family again if they do not attend the wedding. On the flip-side, it will be nice to not be surrounded by the negativity.  

Post # 27
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I am so sorry you are getting homophobic responses. can’t people just keep their opinions to themselves? ugh. such shocking behavior. I suppose they won’t send a gift, but if they do, I suggest sending it back to them.

I haven’t gotten any rude ones, but I have gotten some funny RSVPs that I liked. such as the “plus one” line being filled with: “I.P. Freeley” or “an army of pygmies.” they made me LOL! my friends are funny.

Post # 28
157 posts
Blushing bee

F*** em! You def dont need people like that in your life. One thing I learned through the whole wedding process is that you find out exactly who has your back and who doesn’t. I have some SERIOUS facebook friend cleaning to do after this wedding cuz people I thought would be there for me are NOT. It’s better you found out now.

The most weird response we got was “I don’t like weddings”

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