Post # 1
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
Okay, what is the rule about registering for things that you want, but never in a MILLION years expect people to get for you? FI’s thought on it is, “If people don’t want to buy it, they’ll just skip over it and not think about it. But on the offchance that someone DID buy it for us…SCORE!” My concern is that people will see something like that on the registry and think we’re presumptuous for even registering for something so expensive. Thoughts?
Post # 3
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
I am equally as confused. But we did it anyway. Most of our guests know us well enough to just kinda roll their eyes and say “yeah right” if it’s not something possible for them. Maybe the others will actually buy me the $400 mixer? 
Post # 4
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
I’d say that if you want it, add it! Some people will get together and chip in to buy you guys a big gift and if you don’t, most registries give 10% off registry items that don’t ever get purchased after your wedding.
Post # 5
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
Now that I am registered, I also understand that someone may want to register so that they can get the discount.
Before I knew how these registries worked, I figured those gifts were for people to pool together to get and I thought that was kindof fun.
So, do it! Just curious: what is the item (s) that you are hesitant to add?
Post # 6
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
Thanks for the feedback everyone! I’m still not sure…the items I’m unsure about are small furniture pieces–some small side tables from Bed Bath & Beyond and some stuff for our patio from Target. I guess I’m not that worried about the side tables, since they’re relatively inexpensive. But, I know that furniture of any kind is untraditional, and to add to that the patio furniture comes as a set and is thereby expensive…I’m just not sure I want to register for it! FI doesn’t take well to, “Well, it just isn’t DONE that way,” because he doesn’t care to be traditional. So, I don’t know!
Post # 7
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
The consultant at the store where I regestered said the biggest complaint they get about registries is that there aren’t enough expensive items, and that often people want to get you the bigger things that they know you want and a few people will go in together on something.
And I’m with your Fiance. If they don’t want to get it for you they’ll pass over it.
Post # 8
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
We got a few direct complaints about not having enough “big” items on our registry (we originally just registered for dishes and then asked anyone who wanted to do something else to make a donation to a local charity or contribute to our renovation fund—FI was hoping for a no-gift policy but that did not fly at all!) This actually turned into an issue when we realized some people (older relatives, mainly) wanting to spend more were planning to “buy out” a set of plates, cups, etc.—leaving very little in the under-$50 range for our friends who actually wanted to spend a smaller amount. So, we added an appliance registry with some higher end things specifically for those who wanted to drop $200 on a gift. Weird, but hey….
Post # 9
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t think people will think you are presumptous. At lot of people understand that you get completion discounts for registries, so larger stuff is put on there only for the discount. Also, you may be suprised that some people may want to purchase a larger item or pool together with others to do so. We added furniture (two living room chairs) to our C&B registry just for the discount, and I was suprised to learn a relative was planning on purchasing one.
Post # 10
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
You should definitely register for them.
When we had family over we mentioned that we really need a new bed but can’t afford it. They told us to register for it but I said no one will buy us a bed and they insisted that we register for it.
I would never in a million years expect a BED but it’s on the registry just in case!
Post # 11
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
I put a really expensive piece of furniture on mine simply because I know I can get 10% off after the wedding if nobody buys it. I really don’t expect anyone to buy it!
Post # 12
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
Like some others, I put some big ticket items on it (such as a $1500 50″ tv..). Since we both have lived on our own for several years (3 yrs for him, 7 for me) we already have duplicates of everything we NEED… so this is more of a “want” list on my registry. And i figure, hey – group gift!! I would be very surprised if we actually got it, but one never knows!
Post # 13
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
My best friend put a Crate and Barrel bar circa $1K on her registry. My Mom, Dad, Stepmom, Husband and I decided to all chip in and buy it for her. (She’s more than a friend really – she’s an adopted sister). Registering for exp. furniture is actually not bad at all. Some people give money because they want you to be able to buy furniture… by registering for it, you are giving them the opportunity to pool their resources and give you that gift. Then when they see it in your house they know it was from them, which is really cool.
Anyway hope you get some of your furniture!
Post # 14
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
If ya want it – go for it. Fiance wants this stupid $400 Jimmy Buffet Margarita maker. I orig. promised he can have 1 silly item per store and that’s what he picked *shrugging* – I think his cousin wants to buy it for us. Something like that, I think most of our guest will take one look at it and know HE put it there. LOL!
@ Future Mrs. Martin – we went through the same process! Our bed is terrible! My Maid/Matron of Honor said to register for a new one, so we registered for the new Valencia II at PB (it’s only $599 for a Queen).
I’ve been in a bunch of BP’s where all the BM’s chip in & get one of the big ticket items on the bride’s registry for the shower… so that’s my guess??
Post # 15
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
I think registering for a variety of items – from inexpensive to hoo boy! – should take care of the issue. I was surprised, but my mother spends about $300 every wedding on a gift. Some people are happy to spend $1000! It’s amazing.
So register for whatever you want! Some people may just get you those items. I doubt anyone is going to roll their eyes and say “you don’t need THAT!”.
Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
I’d say put it on there. I’ve seen patio furniture on registries before. And that bride her bridesmaids went in together and got it for her along with their parents.
Also, no matter what you put on the registry you’ll get complaints. I had my showers last weekend and prior to them only 15 gifts had been bought… but my Aunt waited until the day of my second shower to buy her gift and there wasn’t many items left. And proceeded to complain to me about how awful my registry was and blah blah.
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