(Closed) Waitingbees, what’s the worst meltdown/fight you’ve had?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

WHen my bestie got engaged after being with her man for 2 years, when i’d been with mine for 4.  I LOST IT on him after being passive aggressively mean to him for 2 days straight.  MASSIVE fight right before he left to go on his friends bachelor party weekend…great idea!

Found out the next week that he’d had a ring for about 2 months and was waiting for our weekend getaway the following weekend to propose.  doy.  he was so pissed at my besties fiance for oneupping him by a week!

Post # 18
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had (at least!) two meltdowns just prior to our getting engaged. I don’t even remember how the first one started but he finally admitted to me that he knew I wanted him to propose on an upcoming vacation and he didn’t think he was going to be ready. That one was an up-all-night snotty sobfest for both of us but I think it was the beginning of “enlightenment” for Mr. PS.

The second one was the week before we left for vacation and needs a touch of backstory. My Brother-In-Law (sister’s hubby) had been in a bad car accident and had his truck totaled that May and it was now late July. They had finally settled all the insurance stuff and were in the process of buying him a new truck. Let me just say, I love my sister dearly but we call her Princess for a reason. When she wants something, she gets it – even when it goes on the credit card or is financed. Her husband is perfectly okay with this and it works for them, so hey – not judging! So my sister calls me up one Saturday right as I’m walking out the door (with my keys in my hand) and tells me she needs our new address for a reference check for the new truck. I got off the phone with her and I completely.flipped.out. Keys going flying, I’m sobbing, total meltdown, my poor boyfriend is completley mystified and I can’t get a coherent word out. In retrospect, I can tell you that I equated my sister and her husband financing a new truck with my boyfriend NOT wanting to finance an engagement ring to mean that I was worthless to my (then) boyfriend. There was a bit more to it than that including “I’m sick of working my butt off in school, I’m sick of sacrificing and watching everyone else get what they want, etc.”  Yeah, I know – so not proud of that one. It was not a pleasant afternoon. On the other hand, I think this was when he REALLY GOT IT that waiting was deeply hurting me and that the ring didn’t need to be super expensive, it just needed to BE there.

To sum up: I calmed down and we talked. Mr. PS had been assuming that I was expecting a ginormous ring and I could have cared less. We agreed on a modestly priced “temporary” ring budget and from that point on, I swear to you ladies I was just over the whole waiting angst thing. I knew that I was going to be fine whether he proposed or not. We left for vacation about 10 days after my key-throwing hissy fit and he ultimately surprised me by proposing the day before my birthday this past August.

Post # 19
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Oh I’ve had plenty this past year. It happens mainly when someone I know gets engaged or married it reminds me that I’m not and I get all emotional. Actually I just had one yesterday.

He called on his lunch break to tell me that his friend had picked a date for his wedding and kept going on and on about how lucky they were because his friends family was well off and that of course they could get married and how it sucked that our families couldn’t give us a big wedding and that he was “used to getting the shit end of the stick”…

After he said that I got so MAD and screamed at him that I don’t care if he always gets the shit end of the stick, that I did not want to join him in that club and added that it doesn’t take $100,000 to get married and that at this point I didn’t even want a big wedding because we’ve been together so long that it would just be embarrasing and that if he had asked me he would know that I don’t need all the fluff I just want to feel like an “honest” women seeing as how we live together and have a child together!

 

Post # 20
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is the only thing we ever fought about before getting married and we had some real zingers! I had meltdowns at 2 weddings complete with me going to our hotel room early and us not speaking the entire way home the next day. Then the piece de resistance was when I actually asked him to move out of our apartment 2 months after he moved in because he hadn’t bought a ring yet. It was right after we got back from a week long vacation in Cabo, just the two of us, and all of the hotel staff had been referring to me as his ‘wife’ the whole time and he didn’t even flinch. That fight I actually ‘won’ because he bought the ring as a direct result, but he did actually go look at an apartment to see what life would be like without me. I think he also called his Mom to ask for advice too. Yeah, it wasn’t a smooth engagement road for us :/

Post # 21
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Mines was on Valentine’s Day. For many reasons. And it was his own dang fault.

3 weeks before V-day, we drove to the city and he got the ring while I wandered the mall.  I saw the cute little bag that the ring lady gave him and everything, so I KNEW he had it.  I was excited, but sad I knew. *shrug* whatever.

2 weeks before V-day, he starts whispering how he wants this to be the best V-day of my life (our first one we got to enjoy together, cause our very first V-day he worked a double shift)

Feb1-14, he spoiled me with every cute, cuddly, chocolatey, flowery, adorable thing he could get his hands on.  From whitman’s chocolates, to moshi pillows saying “kiss me”, to cuddly teddy bears, Every thing!  I loved it all and tried to be equally lovey on him all I could.  He then informed me he asked for V-day off.  I’m like cool!  Then he gets reservations for the best restaurant in town I’d never been too. Woohoo!! (btw, they were Awesome!!) So all of this is building up to a proposal, he even said so.  Well if you ladies remember I was a little put out, cause I didn’t want to know and be all nervous, which I told him it’d be nice if it was a surprise, but whatever, it should be totally what he wanted to plan.  So, V-day happens, it was an odd day to say the least, but nevertheless, he DID totally surprise me. He surprised me in the fact that after 2 weeks of being the most loving man on the universe, he forgot everything.  No, didn’t forget, just didn’t do it.  No flowers, no chocolates, no kisses, just silence.  So I came home crying before we even had a chance to go to dinner.  My parents bought me chocolates to cheer me up after they realized my bf just wasn’t going to.  I cleaned up, we went to dinner, on the way home he got flowers out of an apology (who gets apology flowers on V-day?)

It’s been the only day we fought.  I still to this day don’t have a single clue why he forgot everything on V-day, made promises up and down it would be a wonderful day, and wouldn’t hardly talk to me that day. So instead of enjoying eachother’s company, and having a normal fun V-day, every V-day we’ve had so far has sucked.

I know it all sounds petty, but it feels so good to get that off my chest.

Post # 22
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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@LadySapphire: Not that it will make you feel better, but Valentine’s is kinda cursed for us, too.  I either have too high expectations and nothing happens, or I try so hard NOT to expect anything that I don’t react propoerly when he goes whole-hog.  Add to this the fact that our first Valentine’s Day together was the day my dad decided to disown me, so it’s been pretty weird each and every year. 

Post # 23
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@moderndaisy: Ooooh man, the wife thing *still* gets me! The very first time it happened we were out to dinner with a mutual female friend. We’re at a booth and she and SO are sitting on one side and I was sitting across since I like being face to face during conversations. We all order and my SO orders roughly the same thing as I do. The waiter is repeating our orders back, looks at my SO and says “Okay sir, you want the exact same thing as your wife but with peppers on the side?” Talk about fit to be tied!

Post # 24
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I haven’t really had a bad meltdown in front of SO. The only time was when my sister got engaged about a year ago. I was so happy for her but felt frustrated that SO didn’t even seem ready for that step, yet –  my younger sister and her SO (who have been dating for a less amount of time as me and SO) were at that step. I’ve since learned not to compare my relationship to anyone elses… but anyway – when I found out I pretty much sulked for the rest of the night and he knew something was wrong. The next day we went to my sister’s place for a little family gathering to celebrate the engagement. I was truly happy for her – but the thought of when it would be my turn kept creeping up on me. On the way home I brought it up with him and we got into a little argument about it. I asked him when he’s going to propose and that it seems like he doesn’t want to marry me since we never talk about it. His answer was – “Just because your sister got engaged, doesn’t mean I have to propose to you the next day. I know you want to get married – you always watch wedding shows and are on wedding internet sites.”  Yea – it was like a slap in the face and I basically shut down and didn’t talk to him the rest of the way home.

Since then we’ve had much better discussions which have strengthen our relationship. But that was a year ago and the wait gets to me. So periodically I’ll have private meltdowns – basically just crying to myself when the wait gets unbearable. The past couple of weeks were really hard since our 10 year anniversary came and went without a proposal. I was sulking around the house until SO asked me why I was so glum lately. So I told him I don’t know what’s going on with him and this proposal -it seems like it will never happen and I asked him if he is even thinking about it or has a plan and he said yes!  I instantly felt better and jokingly asked him if he’s just stringing me along (I know he’s not) and he said no and gave me a kiss and then I told him I’m reassured… so now I’m back to being happy and patient as ever… at least for now lol.

Post # 25
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

my worst meltdown ever (not argument) was when my best friend got engaged after 6 months with her boyfriend. a few weeks later my boyfriends brother and his girlfriend were talking about getting married within those next few months. (they’d only been dating just short of a year with multiple breakups in-between and they’re no longer together), and a close friend from high school was married and expecting her first child. they’d only been dating 3 months before they got engaged…..
…..i have been with my boyfriend for 7 and a half years. can you imagine how i felt? i just kept thinking over and over, why not me? what’s taking SO long?! after my best friend told me she was engaged i was truely happy for her, but devistated at the same time. not only because she was engaged and they weren’t together that long, but because i felt like i was about to lose my best friend. i cried and cried. my boyfriend came upstairs and thought something happened to a family member or something, but when he realized what was going on he was definitely there for me, he held me and just let me be a blubbery mess. meanwhile i am crying, practically choking and i just kept saying “why is it everytime i want something so bad, it ends up happening for someone else?” it has happened with so many different things in my life now that i’m almost positive i’m cursed ;p i felt really dumb for saying that later because i didn’t want him to think i was being pushy, but he’s pretty understanding and just let me blab. yep, that was my worst meltdown.  

Post # 26
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

My worst meltdown came after my boyfriend forgot that he had made plans to take me ring shopping that weekend. He had said on Tuesday that we would go to the jewelry store and look at rings on Sunday. I was beyond excited. I mapped out every jewelry store within a five mile radius, I told all my girlfriends, etc. Well. come Friday he completely forgot that he made those plans with me. That’s when I lost my sh*t. Full fledged breakdown complete with sobbing. I cried “I feel like I’m always the one putting all the effort in. I’m rowing the boat. And when I put down the oars I expect you to pick them up and start rowing. But you never pick up the oars and the boat never goes forward. I’m the only one rowing!” He just looked at me and asked, “We’re on a boat?”

 

Post # 27
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

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@jackndiane: Oh.. I’m sorry you had that meltdown but I laughed a little at his response. I hope you can too. Seriously. Such a “guy” response.

Post # 28
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

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@Tunacupcakes: No I laughed about it later. It just goes to show that men really are clueless. LOL

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