(Closed) Whats the worst thing your FMIL has said to you?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

gosh some of these are awful! my mom is worse than my Mother-In-Law. my mom used to make me buy clothes in bigger sizes “incase (I) gained weight” WTF. and when my husband and I first started dating my mom asked me what I would do if he wanted to get back togehter with an ex. WTF. so inappropriate!

luckily my Mother-In-Law likes me quite a lot… my husband told me right after I first met her that she had never liked any of his girlfriends before. guess i’m pretty good. but I seem to be lucky as well… I am so sorry for some of you. What matters is that your FI’s and husbands are there for you 🙂

Post # 62
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had posted a thread a couple weeks ago about my Mother-In-Law saying she’s going to open her most expensive champagne bottle for the birth of her first grandbaby. Brother-In-Law and SIL are due in October. The worst thing was, was that Brother-In-Law and SIL were not even there and it was just DH and me. That felt like a punch right to the stomache. For the most part though she has been very nice and welcoming and I feel I can go to her for anything so for that i’m lucky. 

Post # 63
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i get along with my Mother-In-Law however weight comments are said to me from her and Father-In-Law. But as a bigger gal…I am kinda used to it but it still sucks….

Post # 64
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Well, she called a “temptress” and a “whore of Babylon”- she alternately denies saying these or she claims she was only kidding.

Then, she told dh not to marry me because he wasn’t out of grad school. (He was in his first year of undergrad)

Then, she tells me to be more accepting of him and not to try to change him, she says that the Lord told her I had control issues.

Then she sends fb messages warning him that I was not fully invested in the marriage.

Also, when we asked her to perform the ceremony, she started emailing me lists of things to do when planning a wedding. (Really? Like I haven’t been doing this for a year and a half already? )

Thank God there’s a whole mountain range between us.

 

Post # 65
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

ilove my Future Mother-In-Law.. the only thing that she does that irks me is she tells us not to spend so much money which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing…and she’s constantly saying “don’t put me in a home when i’m older! i’m gonna live with you!” which i really have no response to. wtf do you say to that. why are you even thinking that?

Post # 66
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@CookieBee: as an aside, I hate that nursing homes have so much stigma. To me, it’s more cruel to try and take care of your loved one at home when you can’t provide the level of care they need!

Post # 67
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Future Mother-In-Law said I tried to kill her….seriously.She told all of her family and tried to convince Fiance that I had. One day I was driving her somewhere with my parents and I asked if everyone was buckled up. She was on a streak of not talking to me because Fiance did not buy her what she wanted for mother’s day, and did not answer me. As I pulled away from the curb, she flung the door open and screamed. She tried to get her purse out of the door, but would not even get over herself long enough to give me a heads up that she was doing it. She didnt even fall out or anything, and I stopped instantly (we ended up 6 inches from where we started). But apparently I tried to kill her and hide it from Fiance. If hiding it means waiting until we got home 20 min later when I told him…

That day was the day that my parents were able to see how nuts she really is. Fiance was so embarassed.

Post # 68
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We went over to show her my engagement ring.  After ten minutes of small talk about the weather and her flowers, she said, “Well, I guess I should say congratulations.  But are you two sure?  There’s time to change your minds.” Ummm, thanks.

Post # 69
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I love my FMIL! I care about her opinion more than my own mom’s. Sorry to hear so many of you have a rocky relationship (to say the least) with your Future Mother-In-Law.

My Future Mother-In-Law and I agree on everything BUT I still make sure to cross my T’s and dot my i’s. I am the princess on a pedestal. I worked hard to get there ( I am marrying the only son, the heir, the one to carry on the family name), I learned all the family recipes, up hold all tradition, converted religions, learning a second language. What can I say I love, love, love my FIL’s and I love being so loved and adored.

We are going to his cousins wedding in a month and my Future Mother-In-Law is taking me shopping to buy a dress, shoes, purse! That is just one example of how well I am treated and to be honest I am not the “set boundaries” girl and if I was I would not expect to have the fabulous relationship we have.

Everything is about tradition with my Future In-Laws and in their opinion who are we to change 2000 years of tradition, so if someone attempted to marry into the family thinking they could go rogue playing fast and loose with tradition then they need to expect to be kept at arm’s length.

Advice? Let’s take JFK’s words and rephrase them! Ask not what your future in laws can do for you instead ask what you can do for your future in laws. That’s how I solidified my place in the family.

 

However some families are not so close and if thats the case then learn to ignore your Future Mother-In-Law. I feel bad for those who are being mistreated but I also feel for those who think they can REALLY have their cake and eat it too.

Post # 70
Member
2592 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

omg!!! the only problem i have is that her clothing style is a little outdated…not saying she doesnt get on my nerves sometimes lol…. but u poor girls. that is just aweful:(

Post # 71
Member
1958 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Before my husband proposed, I was talking to my then-FMIL on the phone re: house-hunting (my husband and I closed on our house two weeks before he proposed). She came out with this gem:

“Oh… well you didn’t hear it from ME, but he bought you an engagement ring…”

I was so p*ssed. I just said to her “Well, I would have PREFERRED not to hear it from ANYONE, but thanks for ruining the surprise!”

She then tried to back-pedal, saying she THOUGHT he was shopping, but wasn’t SURE that he had picked anything out…

Grrrr.

DH doesn’t know that she spilled the beans, he would have been devastated.

Post # 72
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MsPanda: Surprised Yell I don’t even know how to respond to your comment…that is just HORRIBLE, and most definitely congrats to you for losing an amazing 20 lbs. Just wow.

Post # 73
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My Fiance and I had been dating for about a year when we went to peruse some rings so he knew what I liked. He then told his parents he was planning on proposing at some point, and Father-In-Law proceeded to tell him that she thought I wouldn’t fit into the family and that I wasn’t good enough for him. She’s never said anything bad straight to my face though – although I would guess she’s said stuff to other people.

To this day I still worry about what she thinks of me, even though I know I shouldn’t. They’re pretty close, so maybe that’s why it hurts so much.

Post # 74
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow these are awful, my Future Mother-In-Law put an article from the newspaper in my boyfriend’s book about “how to select your perfect wedding ring,” a month before we talked about marriage.  They love me and I love them. 

Post # 75
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had just bought a house and my Future Mother-In-Law came over for the first time (we live in a different state).  Our house came with a hand-built, super sturdy playhouse that someone painstakingly built by hand – it is awesome.  We have no use for it now without kids, but it would be amazing for a few years down the road maybe or even if we were to sell it before kids, it would be a great selling point because our neighborhood has tons of young families.  She asked me if we were going to keep it, and I said “yeah, it would be great for kids in the future.”  She commented about how she hoped it was FAR in the future and made it seem like the worst thing we could do was to have kids right now.  We are getting married in a few months and both have great, stable jobs and a house and it’s not like we don’t have the finances/ability to take care of kids at this time in our life. 

I just felt really hurt after that.  She has her quirks definitely, but that was pretty unacceptable. 

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