(Closed) What's the worst wedding etiquette mistake you've encountered?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 181
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

daniellemc:  Hahaha oh my gosh. “Not married yet so not a real family” Seriously?! Not sure if what your sister did is a breach in etiquette or just plain rude. She sounds like a good match to my younger brother.

Post # 182
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

shoebox:  Cash grab scheme, plain and simple. Cannot believe the amount of couples who do the exact same thing. We have out of country guests coming and the flight and hotel are MORE than enough! We are just happy they will be there for us, period.

Post # 183
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Astra:  LOL no kidding! Your comment makes me want to put my extra guests out on the patio now! 😉 Seriously, no one knows the proper etiquette for wedding invites. What is up with that?

Post # 184
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow a lot of these are making me cringe 🙁 I think the worst I have seen is guests bringing dates/friends along without asking, and having ‘reminders’ about donating to a wishing well. I think it is just so rude to ask for money, especially more than once.

Post # 185
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve now seen a few more since I first posted – what is it with people!

First, I got a Facebook invite to a wedding for someone I went to university with and haven’t seen/talked to in probably 5 years. The Facebook event had some 200 people invited to it, so I have no idea if that was her only method of inviting or just gift grabby.

Second, our RSVP deadline just passed this week and today I got a message from a friend asking if he could bring someone. We had given a guest to everyone who a) was in any form of relationship or b) didn’t know anyone else at the wedding, but this guy is not one of those people. So I asked if he was seeing someone, and apologized if I had left them out, and he says “no, just thought I’d ask”. Huh?

Third, my Future Mother-In-Law has been telling people they don’t need to send their RSVPs back, they just needed to tell her whether they were coming or not – that’s bad enough but she doesn’t keep track and hasn’t told us who’s been verbally RSVPing to her. We only found out when we noticed that a huge chunk of his family hadn’t responded and called a cousin to find out what was going on. Why would that ever be okay!

Post # 186
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The wedding reception of my own father. He sat me and my brothers at a different table to him and his new wife. Ok, I accepted this as it was him and his wife and their parents at one table. But one got me is this. Not once, during the 3 hours we were there did he acknoledge me and my brothers. They didn’t come to talk to us or take some photos with us.

It’s not as if we were just random guests, we were his own children!! Needless to say we don’t have much to do with him anymore!

Post # 187
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee

At my wedding, someone’s wife couldn’t come last minute, so he decided to bring his 8 year old child. Overall slightly weird, but not that big of a deal, until he complained to ME that there were no kids for her to play with. Ummm yeah thats because we had a child-free wedding!

We invited +1s for everyone in relationships, but we also had some unattached guests asking to bring dates. One friend from college insisted on bringing a date, which we finally agreed to after a few other guests declined. He ended up bringing his brother, ha.

Post # 188
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have two, same person.  DH has a friend who went out of province for school.  We really wanted him to attend our wedding but knew cost was a factor, we had money in our budget so offered to pay his flight home.  He took forever to get back to us and declined.  He didn’t even send us a card 🙁

 

Worse though was he was asked to be  GM in another wedding and again was out of province. Days before the wedding he decided he couldn’t make the trip back. 

Post # 189
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

lealorali:  at a friends wedding the Catholic priest in his wedding sermon talked about how if they were on a boat and the bride went overboard that the groom should sacrifice himself for his bride. Basically the groom should commit suicide. Pretty sure that is an unforgivable act. 

Post # 190
Member
4691 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

awakemysoul:  Jeez Louise. So glad I didn’t get married in the church. That sort of stuff freaks me out. 

Post # 191
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think mine has got to be where a friend (not super close) of Fiance and mine did her wedding annoucement and invitite through a FB page she set up. It was a very quick dating period and engagement (not that that has to be a bad thing) where the wedding would be at the courthouse and everyone invited through the FB page could attend the reception at her family’s home. <br /><br />We would not be able to attend the reception due to us expecting our son around the same time. We sent out a card with money for them. I checked FB within the next couple days to see if there was any updates or pictures of the big day with nothing showing up. 

Then, on their wedding FB page it turns out there were a couple others who were congratulating them, and asking questions. She ended up replying that they’d been split up for a bit and never married. Turns out they didn’t bother to remove the page, update their FB status, or inform any of their guests. They also chose to keep the cards and money they received and never bothered to reply in regards to receiving them.

Post # 192
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Evanesca:  wow, that is sooo bad!! If she ever gets married again, send her a FB message reminding her you already gave her a wedding gift.

I made a wedding faux pas when I was in HS. My best friend’s sister got married and it was my first semi-adult wedding. I wore a short all-white dress because it was the only fancy dress I owned at the time – from JHS graduation. I had no idea not wearing white was a thing at weddings. I also arrived late because I had to drive myself to a restaurant I’d never been to in a different town in the era before GPS and I’d only just got my license. Ended up completely blowing a stop sign, got honked at,  arrived totally flustered. Oh, and I didn’t realize the parking brake on my brother’s car was on (also the era before the car beeps to warn you) and drove the whoooooole way with it on, couldn’t figure out why his car was so draggy. Stepped on the bride’s ginormous train and heard a ripping sound. AND didn’t bring a gift. The invite came to me verbally through my friend and I had no idea about things like the dress, how much each plate at a wedding costs, etc. My parents were the ‘figure it out on your own’ types and didn’t give me any advice.

All that said, I had a good time with my friend. We snuck some extra wine bottles and she drove my brother’s car home. We tried to get drunk on the wine but at that point, all we’d done is get wasted on Amaretto sweet n sours from an ancient amaretto bottle in her parents liquor cabinet. We weren’t really able to enjoy the taste of red wine enough to get more than buzzed.

The parking brake on my brother’s car was totally shot. He had to replace it. I denied everything.

Post # 193
Member
12 posts
Newbee

One of my best friends from my sorority verbally called me “miss bridesmaid” when she told me she got engaged. Of course this wasn’t a formal invitation to be a bridesmaid but we had discussed being bridesmaids in each other’s weddings on more than one occasion. I figured this verbal acknowledgement sealed the deal. 

Lo and behold, 6 months later I see pictures of her surprise bridesmaid event where she formally “proposed” to them with ring pops. I was not included obviously or asked to be a bridesmaid. 

It really hurt my feelings considering she’d called me a bridesmaid right after she got engaged. Moreso than if she hadn’t said anything. I thought that was a bit of a faux pas for her to take it back like that. 

It was a bummer but I moved on. Just recently her and her Fiance broke off their engagement and who does she run to for that breakup support? Me. Pretty annoying. 

Post # 194
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

For me it was at a wedding for a friend – a very low budget wedding. After the ceremony they told everyone to come outside for pictures. We assumed that they wanted pictures of everyone but instead we just all stood around awkwardly as they took pics with their family and closest friends. When the bride finally started heading back in most followed, some got offended and left then.

The reception did not have enough food for everyone. There was over 100 people and probably enough food for 40. The cake was one from a grocery store and everyone had to cut out their own piece- which meant not nearly enough cake for everyone as some took considerable chunks. After the bride finished eating her piled plate she took to the stage for karaoke where the music was loud enough to induce migraines.

I left the wedding without a thank you for our gift, any acknowledgement of my presence for that matter, as well as not a single thing in my stomach after 2 hours and a pounding head.

Post # 195
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

my current favorite not just for weddings ( although the worst case in my opinion) but baby showers and all those types of events by some people I am in close relation to …Facebook status saying something along the lines “hey (insert event ) is coming up send me your address if you want invited”…… Um no I am not going to beg to attend … Send me a personal invite if you want me there  doesn’t have to be formal but not as a Facebook status… 

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