(Closed) What's the worst wedding etiquette mistake you've encountered?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 211
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
TaraPants:  pretty much all the weddings i have ever been to, have never had any favors. i think mine was the first and people were like we can take these. lol. i guess its not that common up here. but my guests were traveling so of course i wanted to give them somthing. 

Post # 212
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

oh i got another one. Father-In-Law decided in his speach to tell everyone how much our new commercial boat is and how he helped. super weird i thought. he was also exaggerating! come on! 

Post # 213
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
TaraPants:  Foregoing favours is NOT an etiquette faux pas.

Post # 214
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
Kazza:  +1 I’m spending $180 pp on a black tie wedding and someone insists on a favor? Geez!

Post # 215
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
Kazza:  

View original reply
PABride:  

+1…I’m not spending near $180/pp – much more informal – but we’re feeding all of them, providing a multitude of beverages, cake, etc, and providing a boat cruise. If a $2 favor is what concerns you, please do not bother showing up to my wedding, lol! 

Post # 216
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
gillykat824:  RIGHT! LOL

Post # 217
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Yah I’ve never heard of a lack of favors at a wedding meaning bad etiquette. Actually, the best wedding I’ve been to didn’t have favors…

Post # 218
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

FI’s close friend from college had agreed to be our officiant.  We sent an STD to him and his wife, everything seemed on track.  Four months later, when Fiance reminded him to get his certification, the friend said he would not be able to attend our wedding – he’s been asked to be a groomsman at another wedding on the same day as ours.  FI is still furious.

Post # 219
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
doglover8790:  That sounds like they are kind of desperate!!

At a wedding I had been to, an underage cousin of the groom had been drinking. He and one of the groomsmen decided to go for a joyride around the block and ended up in the middle of a lake! The forgot to turn when they hit the curve. It was a disaster! Worst of all, when the police, fire, and ambulance sirens started going off ALL of the guests DASHED. Only me, my Fiance, the bride and groom, and the parents of the bride were left at the reception with the DJ. The bride was in tears and the groom was dancing by himself on the dancefloor yelling, “IDGAF it’s my wedding and I wanna DANCE!”

I guess around where I live, people don’t do registries a whole lot. They do like a garter auction, dollar dances, etc. for extra money. That same couple got over 600 dollars from their garter thing. They did something similar to musical chairs I suppose for it, the best man had the garter and people would give him money for it, whoever was the last to give money when the music stopped got the garter. I thought it was cute!

Post # 220
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I’m beginning to feel like favors are the new puffy bridal sleeves of wedding etiquette: for a while, it felt like it wasn’t really a wedding without them, but in 10 years we’ll all be embarrassed we had them to begin with and resentful of the extra money we felt pressured to shell out. They’re starting to get quite dated, if you ask me. (That said, I do love matchbooks – use ’em up every time. The rest I usually “accidentally” leave in the hotel.)

 

As for the Thank You note thing … I got verbal thank-yous from all the brides where I was in the wedding, and I was ok with that, except one. I bought her and her new husband a very expensive crystal decanter and brandy glass set. The bride sent me a thoughtful thank you for the cookie I brought her when she was STARVING during photography time, and for being in the wedding, then signed it from both her and the groom. At no point, however, did they mention the $100+ dollar gift.

 

It was kind of weird.

Post # 221
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

I think I’m the only weird one who is ok with a gap…. you paid damn good money for your photographer and you deserve that valuable 2+ hours with them for photos if you dont want to see your groom before the ceremony… If its a destinantion thing and majority of your guests came from out of town, find someone who will haev an open house/drop in with water and snacks for ppl who dont live nearby… that’s what I did. 

I think the idea of a favor is a pre-thank you for coming, and a pre thank you for the gifts… if your plates wer $40 or $150 no one asked you to spend that much money, guests coming to spend your big day with you is sepcial and i think a toekn of appreciation isn’t such a big deal… make a donation to a charity, even if it’s $50… something

 

 

Post # 222
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
cece_intheuk:  we got this from the last wedding we went to, it went something like this:  “to save the environment the couple requests no wrapped or boxed gifts!  I already bought a gift so my honey said take it out of the box and use newspaper. (Haha) I  just wrapped it and gave it to them and other people ignored the crazy request as well.  They were registered on a website where you could donate money for their future together.

Post # 223
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee

I read the ENTIRE THREAD and all I can say is; R.i.p. ETIQUETTE.  You can almost not blame today’s bride, apparently their mothers haven’t been taught what is wrong/right.  I see so many “I’m having  cash bar because I can’t afford to pay for liquor” {well then you are having a wedding you CAN’T AFFORD HONEY} AND “I only want cash gifts” {TOTALLY tacky and inapropriate}  Sometimes I think an  etiquette book should be mandatory gift when you get engaged.

Go ahead, flme me, I really don’t care.

Post # 224
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

(I know this thread is old but its seriously so great so I’m commenting anyway)

-We once went to my dad’s cousins wedding – I was probably about 12. We were in my grandmothers town (really small) for July 4th so somehow we got invited along. We also had a friend with us so we just brought her along (seriously, wtf?). We went to the church and then to a reception. I never met the bride or groom once during the wedding. It was so strange.

-A friend invited us to her wedding, no dates. Totally fine – I was single but my other female friend had a serious boyfriend so she was kind of annoyed. We attended the wedding, had fun, then after the bride got back from the honeymoon, texted my other friend and said, “Hey – why didn’t you bring your boyfriend?” UH – because he wasnt on the invite! It was so strange.

-At our wedding, we had a couple say yes for the husband but no for the wife. Less than a week before our wedding, he texted me to say that his wife could come after all. If this was a problem, he would just stand up during the reception and they could share his plate. Um – what?

Post # 225
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

Wow. Some of these are crazy!! I only have one bad etiquette experience and it’s a doozy. 

I was new at work and I quickly became close with one of the girls who had been there a long time. I think at the time she had about 4-5 months to go until the wedding, so I didn’t really think I would be invited since I thought maybe they had their guest list/budget all set. But she told me I was invited which was great. They hadn’t finalized everything and they were still tweaking their guest list. 

Throughout the whole time I’ve known her, any time the wedding was brought up, she seemed to be obsessed with proper guest etiquette. She always said how he hoped no one showed up in white, and not only did she say she hopes everyone brings some sort of gift, but that it was enough to cover their plate. I didn’t agree with everything she had to say on the topic but I’m not one for confrontation so i just kinda listened and thought maybe it was just the stress getting to her. It soon got to be extremely annoying as “proper guest etiquette” was all she could talk about. She never seemed concerned with how to treat the guests, but how they should treat her. 

One day, before receiving thr invitation, I told her that I couldn’t wait for her wedding and that I would definitely be attending. Immediately she asked me if I had picked an outfit. I thought that was strange and said something along the lines of “not yet but don’t worry it won’t be white” and we both laughed about it. Then, once again, she told me some story (probably BS) about how she heard through the grapevine that a family member was spending a lot on travel so they wouldn’t be giving a huge gift. Maybe a gift card or something but for a smaller amount. She said she was upset by that and informed me of how much a plate was, repeating that she hoped everyone covered the cost of their own plate. It kind of sounded like she wanted to make me aware of the price so that I would give a “proper” gift amount. Again, I just kind of shrugged it off because I planned on giving $100 and the plate was less, but I did find it rude nonetheless. 

Then, it got worse. The invitation came in the mail and I was absolutely shocked and appalled by what was included. They actually paid money to have a “wedding guest etiquette” pamphlet made up. It was a list of do’s and don’t’s as a proper wedding guest. I lost it. I wasn’t mad, I just cracked up laughing because it was so ridiculous!

I still went to the wedding with some co-workers and we laughed the entire time about the pamphlets. Talk about ridiculous!

The topic ‘What's the worst wedding etiquette mistake you've encountered?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors