(Closed) What's the worst wedding etiquette mistake you've encountered?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 256
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Putting the links to the wedding registry on FB – over and over again! Only a few people from the friend list were invited to the wedding. I can never look at those people the same way again.

Post # 257
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I have another one! Yesterday at work, one of the girls who I had lunch with told me about an invitation she just received for her FBIL’s wedding. On the invitation, it indicates how the guests are asked to pay for half of their own plate!! It’s $70/pp so that means the guests are expected to pay $35 each just to attend the wedding! I’ve never heard of such a thing. On top of that, they also registered multiple places. I hope they don’t expect many gifts if they’re asking people to pay for half of their meal. 

Post # 258
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

bride2bebe:  That’s hilarious! I am planning to use it next time when someone tells me that they have decided to donate in my name instead of giving me a gift 🙂

Post # 259
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

CupcakeX89:  Oi.  That one is… special.  If you can’t afford a $70 a plate reception, don’t have a $70 a plate reception!  Why do people not understand this?  Just because it’s the Barbie dream wedding you saw on pinterest doesn’t mean you can afford it! I can’t believe they registered on top of it… 

I’m going to blame pinterest (as much as I love pinterest) for creating unrealistic expecations in regards to weddings. 

Post # 260
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

emilyluwest:  Um…..arent the bridesmaids supposed to be the ones guarenteed on the bach invite list?!?!LOL

Post # 261
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

The last wedding I was invited to I opened up the invitation to find another smaller, matching envelope.  It was not an RSVP like I expected, but a poem (it rhymed and everything) basically explaining they had everything they needed already but would really appreciate cash for the honeymoon.  They made a rhyme saying something to the effect of being able to see the water so blue they could sit back and know it was because of you – I don’t remember it exactly but you get the drift.  Asking for cash – bad enough but to write a poem about it?  Crazy.

Post # 262
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

SunnierDaysAhead:  oh okay….so brides do not care if anyone in the wedding arty catches pneumonia?!!

Post # 263
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Can’t imagine expecting guests to pay half the per person costs. Wow, i think that takes the cake. I recall being asked to hold the shower by my very close family member, but having no planning input, just expense and work. Also asked to help set up the reception before wedding and seat people at reception, but not included in the rehearsal dinner until the night of when bride realized her Mom (my sis) had not bothered to invite me. Also being given 3 weeks notice for another close family wedding 700 miles away. 

Post # 264
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Fun post!  Here’s my thoughts!

  • Inviting folks to the shower and not the wedding
  • Putting registery info on invite!
  • Money tree
  • Asking for money instead of a gift
  • Wearing white to the wedding
  • Not paying attention to the bride and grooms events!!!!  (cake cutting, dancing, toasts)
Post # 265
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

trish9180:  I’m just curious, what if the couple couldn’t help that some folks were invited to the shower and not the wedding? If the bride doesn’t throw her own shower (as she’s traditionally not supposed to), and her Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaids throw her a shower inviting guests she had no intention to invite to the wedding, is that really her fault? Is she supposed to now pay up to invite more people the wedding which she may not have budgeted for, or the venue might not even have space for?

Post # 266
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

RoxiB4b3:  Hi There,

Fellow South African here, most of the household and alliance stores have gift registries;

 

http://www.binuns.co.za/gift-registry

 

http://giftregistry.home.co.za/

 

http://www.boardmans.co.za/?gclid=CjwKEAjwoMKiBRDHwoaQ0dzn0UwSJAAUk5JibgMzheKwL_NX9TxGTqmlfp5quzWuX3-Ps84qqK7rTBoCQ9zw_wcB

 

And yes, it is acceptable to note it in your wedding invitations. However I would air on the side of caution in this regard as there are some that might find it rude (I am afraid I am one of those people), maybe just put a link to your online registry in your invitation as an afterthought…  

Post # 267
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

TwinkleBoss:  There were people at my shower thrown by my future Mother-In-Law that were not invited to the wedding- she hosted, so it was her guest list. It was what it was. 🙂

Post # 268
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

pinkandgold88:  Haha, okay, thanks for sharing 🙂 I was mostly curious since a few days ago my cousin texted me that she just found an awesome idea for my bridal shower which really threw me for a loop! I’m going to keep my nose out of it and let my friends and family do whatever it is they want to do, but reading this made me concerned since I could easily see them inviting some of my co-workers since they’re my friends and I even went to one of their weddings not too long ago, but sadly at the moment we’re not planning on inviting them to the wedding since it’s just not in the budget.

Post # 269
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

LindyLu:  We had a couple do the same thing- brought their 16 year old instead of their spouse who couldn’t come. Kid free wedding. Odd. 

Post # 270
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

This thread is a bit old but I had to add my stories. The first one was actually my blunder; I wore the same colour beige/brown coloured suit to my brother’s wedding as the table cloths my SIL made…. Needless to say I blended pretty well.

Now my brother’s wedding should have been put in book form and named “What not to do at a wedding”, unfortunately it was utter chaos!

 

I received an invitation to the kitchen tea before I received an invitation to the wedding, where I am from one receives the wedding invitation first. In the kitchen tea invitation it stated as my brother and SIL already lived together and have all they need to please rather bring money, but if you wish to bring a gift that their kitchen is black and silver… How rude! I didn’t go as I thought I was not invited to the wedding.

Then we only received the wedding invitations about 5 weeks before the wedding, it was plain store bought A6 white envelopes with a handmade card (not that there is anything wrong with a handmade card, I will be making our elopement announcements by hand too), that read more like a kids birthday invitations than a wedding invitation. With pencil cut lines clearly visible.

The directions on the card were wrong too!

 

At the reception there were not wedding favours, that might be ok to some and I might be overly sensitive on this as I offered to make them wedding favours as a gift, that they never got back to me on.

 

And to this day no thank you cards, two years later!! My SIL once mentioned the gift we gave her and said “it’s really fancy, but not something I use…” This after we spent a fortune on purchasing a designer porcelain three tear cupcake/sandwich stand and matching mugs in black with gold plating (they didn’t have silver).

 

I think I am the milkman’s child!

 

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