(Closed) What's the worst wedding etiquette mistake you've encountered?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 286
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Asking for money on invitation and having a 6pm reception with no dinner. No mention of lack of food on invite either.

Post # 287
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This happened recently and still makes my blood boil:

My boyfriend ended up being the best man for his co-worker whom he doesn’t even consider a good friend. (I guess the groom has a bad family relationship or something). The rest of the groomsmen ended up being fairly random coworkers as well. Now they all work together and know how much each other makes, which isn’t a lot. The groom has a reputation for being cheap so I thought it was odd when my boyfriend came home complaining that he just spent $300 on a rented Vera Wang suit for a wedding that’s IN A PARK. Come to find out that if the groom got his groomsmen to spend $X amount then his suit rental was free. Very classy. On top of that, I was pulled aside after the ceremony (having no relationship whatsoever with the married couple), and asked that because my boyfriend would be busy for the next hour taking pictures and I didn’t know anyone there if I didn’t mind breaking down all the decor and putting it in his car. So I spent the next hour on a step ladder in heels cutting decorations off of trees and breaking down the homemade PVC pipe that served as a trellis. To add insult to injury recently the groom was at work with my boyfriend boasting about how the groomsmen had spent so much money that the store decided he could keep his Vera Wang suit for free, then was offended when my boyfriend made an off-color remark. Oh also, no thank you note. Shocking. 

Post # 288
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

courtneylynne729:  Other people’s money can clearly buy a groom’s wedding suit, but it can’t buy class!

Post # 289
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

courtneylynne729:  and you’re telling me this amazing guy didn’t have any real friends to be groomsmen…. unfathomable

Post # 290
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Biggest faux pas at my wedding was ”thanks” to an aunt. She had asked me if I was inviting her children (my 2nd cousins) and her nieces and nephews (also my second cousins) to the wedding. I wrote back something along the lines of ”It’s tough, I’d like to invite Julie and Brad (her children), because we keep in touch and see each other from time to time, but regarding Paula, Stacy and Jack I haven’t actually seen them in years. Also it would mean inviting my DH’s second cousins.. etc.. ” Basically I wrote my point of view and said that I’m not sure at this point in time and would obviously send out the invites once we knew more about the venue capacities etc.

My aunt then proceeded to FORWARD this email to all of the people concerned, including a bunch of other people in the family who had nothing to do with the decision. I was mortified!! Lesson learnt – don’t put your dilemnas on paper and send them to a relative…

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  amanda3334455.
Post # 291
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I love this!!!

Mine both relate to wedding gifts – 

– wedding where the invite stated ‘no boxed gifts’ ie cash! I went to the hen party/bridal shower and brought a really nice box of chocolates for the bride. It was just a little treat for the party and I was going to give cash for the wedding. Almost immediately her Maid/Matron of Honor comes up to me and says ‘you do know it’s no boxed gifts?’ and I was like….yeah….for the weding not for the hen party?!?! In the UK you never give cash at a hen party so I will really shocked and felt a bit insulted! 

– DH’s friends who are LOADED sent their invite saying they had everything they could ever want (good for you!) but would like to buy some “art” so here are our bank details. I thought it was super tacky! They also didn’t post out their thank you’s and instead handed them out at a Halloween party 4 months later!! Never found our what art they supposedly bought with our money either! 

Post # 292
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

1- wrote a couple (who I had never met, they are fiance’s friends) a $100 check as a gift for their wedding last MAY, still no thank you card

2- fiance getting invited to bachelor party, but not wedding???

Post # 293
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

received my cousins save the dates. and she addressed them as my name and guest. umm engaged for a year hello get you head out of your butt and show interest into finding out people names etc. duh 

Post # 294
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Fiance got an invite to a Destination Wedding. IN BOLD PRINT (yes actually printed on the invite) towards the bottom, was “We are registered at ____. We realize that it may be hard to bring gifts to the wedding, so feel free to send them ahead of time. Our address is:____.” No saying gifts aren’t necessary. It was just assumed we’d bring them. I was appalled. Fiance ended up buying them a gift. I wouldn’t have…

Post # 295
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

After my cousin’s wedding it took them about 10 months to send out thank-you cards…and when they did, it was a pre-printed form letter that was addressed to “all our wedding guests,” not even to us specifically! My fiance and I gave them $200 as a gift, what a waste of money if they can’t even show basic etiquette.

Post # 296
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Semi-DW (about a four hour drive for everyone, so hotels all around) and no +1s, not even for bridesmaids. SOs are only invited if bride approves of him/her, which she almost never does, including leaving the SOs of bridesmaids and other close friends who are ENGAGED off the list. No no no.

My cousin is a bridesmaid and bride doesn’t approve of her SO who she lives with because in *high school* my cousin dated another mutual friend of the bride’s and it’s “too painful” for the ex to see her with another guy.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  rmca.
Post # 297
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My Maid/Matron of Honor called me a couple days ago to let me know she was invited to a wedding in about a month. This wedding is for someone she speaks to (over Facebook) maybe twice a year, listening to this girl’s dating problems, whom she is not close to. Plus, the wedding is in China. Maid/Matron of Honor lives in the US. It was entertaining, to say the least….a Facebook invite to a wedding 7000 miles away, with little notice, for someone who’s barely an aquaintance. Maid/Matron of Honor is not going, needless to say. 

Same friend (my poor Maid/Matron of Honor has intriguing luck at weddings) has a brother who is getting married this summer and the Future Sister-In-Law is being a giant bridezilla, so I’m waiting for fun stories from that. 

Post # 298
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’ve probably made one in that we aren’t inviting children but we have 25 guest, and only two of them have children so i’ve spoken to them before hand and said about it. They have been fine and it was so they had a years notice and it wasn’t sprung on them. Still felt super rude doing it but the venue is not child friendly at all and the children aren’t close enough in age to keep each other company. 

I hate hate hate the money instead of gifts poems! Really it is my huge pet hate i just find them rude and tacky. We aren’t asking for anything gifts or money because its not the point of our wedding. But if someone didn’t include a gift list i would just assume they wanted money and give accordingly! 

Post # 299
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Commenting to be able to find this later, these are all too funny!

Post # 300
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Following for the future entertainment!

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