(Closed) What’s with Men and thier pride issues???!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

(virtual hugs)  I don’t know what to tell you.  My husband is supporting me financially while I go back to school.  For the time being I consider school to be my job.

Post # 4
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@strawbabies:  That’s a good way to look at it.. school is a lot of work.

I agree with you, OP.. since he has a plan in place for a great future after finishing school, there’s no need to be a downer in the meantime.  Have you told him that?  It’s a crazy way to live.. no one is on top of their game 24/7.  Sometimes you have to take a few steps back and ride out the tough times— there’s light at the end of the tunnel!

Post # 5
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

When women talk about men having “pride” issues, I think they are actually talking about their man being an immature ass. 

My best friend does this with her husband all the time. She’ll tell some story about what a dick he was, and then excuse it with an exasperated comment like “men are just really prideful”. Like a gender stereotype can easily gloss over rude behavior. Similar to women with bad pms — oh it’s ok, I’m not really a bitch it’s just the period. Um, no, not okay!

So I’m sorry your man is being immature. But maybe you could use this as an opportunity to open communications about your income discrepancy again and get to a place where he is ok with it and doesn’t feel emasculated. There should be a way to overcome the issue — I know a few guys who are house husbands, permanently contributing 0% to the household income, and yet they don’t have pride problems. Until recently, I earned much more than my husband and it was never a problem.

As for the trip, just forget abot it for now. Or at least don’t go unless this issue is fully resolved beforehand. If you go with him, he’ll probably ruin it. And if you go alone, you’ll probably ruin it by being resentful/hurt that you’re there alone. There will be more trips, better trips, in the future.

ETA I just saw the bit about the trip being for your job. So go, but try to think of it purely as a job thing and not a vacation thing.
 

Post # 6
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

@Jade33:  Totally agree. I have earned more than my husband for the last three years, and likely always will. He was also off work for a while after he took an early retirement. He is older than me. 

This quite honestly does not cause any issues for us. My husband has a strong enough sense of self and confidence to encourage my own career without feeling personally threatened or insecure! 

I think it is time to talk about how this negativity is affecting you and the dynamics, bit if he wants to stay home than go on your own. Sometimes my husband comes along in my work trips but I also still love to travel on my own too!

In any case, this really is not about “men and their pride issues”. This is about how your husband as an individual deals with these particular circumstances.

 

 

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