@eeniebeans: “I find it offensive when women call other moms “uneducated” or say they “haven’t done their research” if they have a different kind of birth.“
If people are saying a woman is uneducated because she is choosing something they personally don’t agree with, then I agree with you – that is offensive – but from my experience too many women are uneducated and haven’t done any research.
I personally know three women who have had C-sections because they honestly believe ‘a vaginal birth will disfigure your vagina’, ‘you can’t have sex for 6 months if you deliver vaginally’ and ‘your vagina will be super lose if you have a vaginal birth and your husband will hate sex, it’s just not fair to him’. Those are only a few of the uneducated comments I have heard. These women won’t even listen to their Doctors or to other mothers because they are the woman who are pregnant, and they know what they are talking about and they know what is best for them. They think they are smarter, better and love their husband more than woman who have had a natural birth, but they’re not – because their reasoning is based on incorrect information
I also know a woman who straight up, refuses to have a C-section. She thinks they are selfish, cause behaviour problems and autism, and are unnecessary. She has said on multiple occasions that she would never, ever have a C-section, no matter the situation. Luckily for her, her birth went without complications but if she had of refused an emergency C-section, well that would have been a decision made by someone who is uneducated and isn’t considering facts. She thinks she is a better woman, mother and person because she refuses a ‘horrible’ C-section, but how good of a person can you be if you refuse a C-section for uneducated reasons and your child dies.
Personally, I’ve always wanted a drug free, intervention free, natural hospital birth with the opportunity to labour in water; I am against C-sections for myself and would never have an elective C-section, but would have an emergency C-section is it was needed. When I fell pregnant (which ended in a miscarriage) we were expecting twins, and my SO was of the opinion that an elective C-section was the best option for us, I obviously did not agree with him. While I wasn’t thrilled with the idea, if it came down to risking my babies lives by insisting in a natural birth, or opting for a ‘safer’ elective C-section I would have chosen the C-section.
Sometimes circumstances change and you have to do something that you’ve never wanted to do, or something that simply wasn’t part of your plan.
Everyone should be free to make whatever decision they decide is best for them and their child, without having to deal with offensive opinions from others or ‘birth shaming’ but they should be making educated decisions based on research and facts.