Post # 1
So I thought my Bridesmaid or Best Man L and I might have found the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses (read the story here), but after showing my Fiance, the hive, and my Future Mother-In-Law the verdict was Too Casual for our semi-formal wedding. I broke the news to Bridesmaid or Best Man L this morning in the best way I could and I also mentioned that the other 2 BMS seem to want me to pick their dresses out for them, would she like me to pick hers out too? Or continue to make a decision on her own?
Her response? She no longer wants to be my BM! She said that personally she feels I’ve been a crazy bridezilla about the dresses (ummm…ok) and that I’m far too picky and controlling! She is still willing to do my make-up and attend the wedding, but she wants to back down. All because I had to tell her NO for maybe the first time ever in our friendship. I am really hurt by this. I didn’t know what to say in response so I’ve so far said nothing at all.
I think I’d feel understand better if its because she couldn’t afford to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (dress, shoes, make-up, hair is expensive. Although, I told all of them they don’t have to get their hair done or buy new shoes- ones they have already are fine by me.). I could even understand it if I really were being a Bridezilla and this was her way of calling me out on it. But I’m not!
I don’t know what to do. Should I ask her to change her mind? Do I accept her decision and move forward with just 2 BMs?
Post # 3
Yes. Accept her resignation gracefully and let her back down. I think that she’s using the term Bridezilla to bully you, which is really too bad.
Tell her that you’re very sorry that she feels this way because you’d love to have her as your Bridesmaid or Best Man, but you understand.
Post # 4
Let her chill…in fact, say, “you know, what, sleep on it. Let me know how you feel in a week”. Maybe she’s PMSing
Post # 5
I picked out my BM’s dresses and didn’t even ask them for input or even an OK. I didn’t get one complaint either, so maybe if you took them out of the process a little you would seem less ‘bossy and controlling’ to poor Bridesmaid or Best Man L.
But honestly if I were you my response to her would be “I totally understand, no problem and don’t worry about the makeup, I’ll get someone else. Can’t wait to see you at the wedding!”
Post # 6
I would explain to her (nicely of course) that it isn’t what dress she wears to be in your wedding, but the physical and emotional support you need. Tell her that it is so important to you to have her standing at the end of the aisle for you and your hubby. Maybe if she sees how much she means to you, she may reconsider. (Plus, telling her you really don’t want to replace her with someone less meaningful may help too!)
Good Luck 🙂
Post # 7
It seems like this reaction of hers might be a sign as to how she’ll behave throughout the entire wedding process if she doesn’t get her way. I’d let her resign, but try to maintain a good friendship. Afterall, you still care about her. 🙂 It just seems that she might not be able to handle the pressure of having to do things according to someone else’s wishes.