(Closed) What’s with the PRESSURE!?

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Aw that really sucks. Yay for getting your kitchen remodeled though! I feel that. I was more worried about finishing school and finding a house for the longest time after we got engaged. We seriously just set a date within the last month and have been engaged for about six. I was getting LOTS of questions much like you, but we were firm in that it wasn’t a priority yet. Stick to your guns – you guys are doing what’s right for you! Though maybe setting a date will get people off of your back (or at least a month that you both agree on). That is DEFINITELY what got our families to calm down. We said “March, April or early May of 2012” and they were less annoying because they knew what to expect a little more. 🙂

Post # 4
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

don’t let the pressure get to you – enjoy the engagement! i was only engaged 7 months and it went by so quickly –  i love being married, but there is something so special about the engagement period.

you know you want to and are going to get married, no need to rush 🙂

Post # 5
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@soyjoy222: this happened to me with my family! they wanted to know a date as SOON as we got engaged because of vacation and traveling and everything else. if i had to do it over again, i probably would have given myself alot more time than i did, and not worry about what everyone else says. pick a date when you’re ready to pick a date, don’t pick the biggest part of the journey hastily, because once it’s in motion, there is no going back. 🙂

Post # 7
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

yeah this same thing happend to a friend of mine who get engaged before me, so we didnt tell people we were engaged until we had a date. I mean we told our parents and immediate family but no one else.

Post # 8
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t let it get to you.  Fiance and I have been engaged since December and people were bugging us when he was practically still on his knee about our date.  We are planning on planning starting in August.  We have other stuff on our plates. 

That being said, I am having a blast gathering ideas and basically planning, just not signing contracts right now!

Post # 9
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@soyjoy222: I kind of had the opposite problem. We set a date based on our goals and no one (coworkers, strangers) seemed satisfied because it was two years away. Really?! What do these people care if/when I get married? It’s like “sorry it upset your schedule, but FH and I would like to have our degrees first”.

Ignore these people. If it isn’t about setting the date it will be something else. It’s not worth stressing over. Get your goals (kitchen) out of the way first.

Post # 10
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I got engaged in the beginning of February and it took us until just a few days ago to solidify the plans and set the date officially. The whole time, people kept asking us and suggesting venues and styles and this and that. It can get very overwhelming, so I feel your pain. The other day, my FFiL asked me why I was waiting so long (I wanted a wedding October 13, 2012) and now we’ve moved it up to May 26, 2012. LOl. At first it made me feel antsy that he was asking, but when I took a step back, I realized maybe he was onto something. Barring financial obligation, what’s the hold up? Why not make that leap asap, God willing?

I think people are just excited for you and want to come to a happy occasion. There is sometimes so little to celebrate so when two people in love are making a huge move like getting married, they get fascinated.

I would try and keep it all in prospective and realize that lots of people are just very, very happy for you and want to share in your joy.

You got thangs to do like get your remodeling on, but maybe start entertaining the idea little by little. It’s very exciting!

Post # 11
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I only felt the pressure from my grandma. She’s old, and I think she was worried that she wouldn’t make it. Plus, things were different back in the day and they just didn’t take as long to plan. She didn’t understand that venues, photographers, etc. are booked way in advance, so if I were to get married sooner we wouldn’t have been able to get where and who we wanted.

She also pressured me to get engaged though. She’d always ask when I was going to get engaged, and I would tell her to ask him!

Post # 12
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@artbee: Haha. Not to threadjack (sorry OP!) but my great-grandma was like this. Except I was like 17…with no husband in sight. She’d also ask when I was going to start having children (she wants to see her great-greats). God willing she will still be here, not only when I marry but for those great-greats (she has cancer and is in her 80s). I would love to do that for her.

Post # 13
16 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

We set our “date” when we were driving home from getting engaged.  I knew this would be the big question, so we decided to say “after I graduate, probably next spring.”  it was vague enough that we weren’t outright lying, but it gave people an answer they could deal with.  Now if only there was a similar answer to things like “when are you giving me a grandchild?” or “what do you mean they’re not invited to the wedding?”

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