(Closed) What's wrong with wanting my bridesmaids to match?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What do you think about matching bridesmaids?

    I love it. My girls will be matching.

    I like it a lot, but they'll be mismatched

    It's ok as long as they don't look like clones

    I don't like it at all, let them be themselves, not dolls.

    Other

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I like matching dresses! I have 6 bridesmaids and I love them all dearly. For me, it was about wanting my guests to see them during the day, and know that they were a bridesmaid and therefore a dear friend, because they were wearing the bridesmaid dress. Plus I was lucky that all my girls are either a UK 8 or a UK 10, so it wasn’t hard to find something that they all look gorgeous in.

    That said, I paid for all the dresses (UK tradition) and I won’t be doing matching shoes, jewellery, hair etc. I think mismatched dresses are better if the bridesmaids are paying and they have different budgets available.

    Post # 18
    Hostess
    5622 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m SUPER matchy matchy so mine will of course, match. I don’t think there is anything wrong with matching or not matching.

    I do plan to find a dress that my girls feel comfortable in, I would never pick a super hideous dress… and I’m also taking into consideration that one of my girls doesn’t like her legs, so no short dresses.. and I have one bm who is REALLY skinny, and the other is barely plus sized but will look pretty large next to the skinny one, so I need to balance them out somehow and find something that makes them both look amazing.

    Post # 19
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @HonoraryNerd:  I think that as long as you find some options that your bridesmaids all like, you’re in the clear.  People just ask because they’re curious, and Future Mother-In-Law are just practicing being a pain 🙂

    Post # 20
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My girls wanted to match! I started off trying to get them to pick a style etc and they were like “lets pick a dress and all wear the same one” – so they are!

    I wouldn’t have minded either way. They aren’t going to look like clones, they can wear whatever shoes they have already and they’re three very different girls. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    730 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I always think it looks best when the bridesmaids are allowed to pick their own dress (either all long or all short) in the color black.

    Looks so clean and classic

    Post # 22
    Member
    1908 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I’ve been a bridesmaid where we were all matching and had no issues with it. We did have to take everyone’s body type into consideration though but even then finding a dress was not that hard. We narrowed it down to two dresses pretty quickly and the bride decided only one would really work when her bridesmaids were sizes 0,12, and 24. It worked out just fine, nothing wrong with it!

    Mine will be mismatched but in the same color, fabric, length, deisgner. They just have different necklines/styles that suite each girl. I have bridesmaids sizes 0,2,6,12, and 20. Plus one has significant scarring from her chest to neck so for her to feel comfortable a very high neckline was all that worked. It was so much easier for us this way, but there was one dress that had I wanted to, probably would have worked for everyone. I just think a few girls would have been midly uncomfortable in it.

    I do think a lot of people just ask because they’re curious, not always judgemental. I’ve had people ask me too. I think the response would have been positive either way, they just wanted to know.

    Post # 23
    Member
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting your BMs to match, it is the traditional way after all. It’s interesting actually because I’m going a very mismatched direction – same brand, length and fabric type but different styles and colours – and I’m getting a lot of pointed questions about that too! There’s just something about weddings that make everyone nosy and opinionated 😛

    Post # 24
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @HonoraryNerd:  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with matching dresses at all. my girls will be in matching dresses! I found a flattering dress( my girls are all shapes and sizes) at a very affordable dress. I did make an exception for my one Bridesmaid or Best Man that just found out she’s pregnant and will be 7 months at the wedding bc I would prefer her to be comfy over matching at that point and the dress I picked as flattering as it is the liner iant made to stretch 

    Post # 25
    Member
    2053 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    My girls are wearing the same dress.  The groomswoman may wear a different dress or the same dress as the BMs only in black (BMs are in red.)   She’s on FI’s side, so I’m good with her wearing whatever she wants.  

    Beyond the dress, I don’t care too much what they wear.  Just black shoes of any kind.  No one’s going to see them as they’re in long dresses.  My one bridesmaid has modesty requirements and we are having a really hard time finding a dress that works for her and the others, so we will likely add sleeves or a jacket to her dress.  She’s cool with it, I’m cool with it. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Honestly I think it was easier for my Bridesmaid or Best Man that they matched. Since they were all basically in different states I went to a nationwide chain store, chose 2 styles in the same fabric/ color and nearly the same silouette and told them each to pick and buy the one they liked best. best of both worlds because they had an option and they all matched. They did all wear different shoes and accessories though. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Nothing wrong with making them match! Mine HAD to match. There wasn’t any way around it for my wedding. I want them all to have their hair up, in silver shoes, no necklaces, etc….It’s your wedding you can do what you want

    Post # 28
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    no, you are not a bridezilla. Its common for them to match. I went the other route and let them choose their own dresses, but somehow the bees considered me a bridezilla for picking (and buying) the shoes myself… strange, isnt it?

    Post # 29
    Member
    5708 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @HonoraryNerd:  Honestly, my girls matched, BUT if I could go back and do it all over again? I think they could have looked even better had I let them pick their own. Plus it would have been a hell of a lot less stressful!

    However, since your girls aren’t putting up a fuss I say just make them match like you want it. it’s you and your FI’s wedding after all, and everyone is ALWAYS going to have an opinion on what they think is best for your wedding. It doesn’t stop after the wedding either, just fyi 🙂

    Post # 30
    Member
    2444 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    I have no opinions either way.  I think having them match looks great and so can having them mismatched.  I’m undecided right now.  I had always figured I would have them pick their own dresses but then I found a dress I really liked that had lace (my wedding is rustic) and so now I’m undecided.

    Just take opinions with a grain of salt.  Their opinions don’t matter, its your wedding, do what you want.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee

    There is nothing wrong with matching dresses, but when I see the girls come down the aisle in matching shoes/dress/jewelry/HAIR/makeup/and fingernails I am not impressed at all.

    The caveat I will say about matching dresses is this (and I am plus size) – I have never ever ever been to a wedding with vastly different sized BMs who looked good in all the same dress.  My DD has a size 4 and a size 24 in her Bridal Party.  I haven’t seen a dress yet that looks good on both of them.  Usually the plus sized Bridesmaid or Best Man comes out on the short end of the stick in a dress that is quite unflattering.  My absolute pet peeve in that arena is when someone says “choose an empire waist!  They flatter everyone!”  No, the don’t.  They us bigger girls look pregnant.

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