(Closed) What’s your +1 policy?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I’d say if they’re not in a serious relationship now to nix their +1. I’m also having a small wedding like you and I just refuse to have a bunch of strangers there for our intimate, special, once-in-a-lifetime day. A few people who are married or seeing someone seriously who I don’t know, I am more than happy to invite their SOs but friends seeing someone casually? I’ll pass.

Maybe try and leave some flexibility in case your cousin suddenly gets hot-and-heavy engaged or something to her boyfriend in the next 7 months, but otherwise stick to your guns.

Post # 4
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissCalifornia: I agree. I think the people attending your wedding will understand being that it’s an intimate affair.

Post # 5
Member
6344 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

We have space for 50 for the day; so far, our guest list is at 46. Most of those are couples/families, but a few are friends, most of whom are single at the moment. So, if they’re all ‘coupled up’ by the wedding, we’ll only have four ‘spaces’. Because of this we’ll probably only invite long-term partners (eg at least a year) to the day, and everyone else to the evening. I wouldn’t invite someone we didn’t know/hadn’t met, or give someone a plus one just for the sake of it (eg I would if they didn’t know anyone else or they were a ‘lone singleton’, but if several of their single friends were going I see no need for a plus one)

Post # 6
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The only guests whom we allowed to bring dates to our wedding were those who were married, engaged, or living together. The sole exception I made to this policy was on behalf of a friend who had been in a 20-year relationship with someone but who did not fall into any of those other three categories. 

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re having a small wedding, too (the place can hold 80 and I’m hoping for around 60).

Our +1 policy will be for long-term couples only except, of course, for the wedding party (I’ll leave it up to them if they want a +1 or not).  If we end up inviting anyone who wouldn’t otherwise know anyone, I’d consider sending out a +1.  I do want everyone to be comfortable.

 

Post # 8
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m allowing +1 for my friends because while it’s a small wedding, it’s also a destination for most of them which will reduce attendance, and we want to have about 60 people. For the few single friends, pretty much everyone else there will be strangers to them. 95% of them are married or in serious relationships anyway.

Post # 9
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You gotta be married or engaged to have a +1 for us. Ideally, we’d let everyone bring a guest but our ceremony site can’t hold too many people. We didn’t want to cut out friends or family for someone else’s boyfriend or date. 

Post # 10
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I will probably allow all plus ones (just not obnoxious children). but if I couldn’t, I’d have a policy that they only get plus ones if they don’t have other friends/family at the wedding (would be terrible to be at a wedding and not know anyone!). if a big part of the entertainment is dancing, then it’s awfully hard to invite people who don’t have a dance partner, ya know?

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

On our ‘first cut’ list there are only a handful of people who aren’t married/engaged/living together (the beauty of being the last sibling and one of the last friends to get married).  We’re planning on giving them a +1.  Save the dates are a couple months away though so we have time to decide.  

Post # 13
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

@Pinksapphire: I don’t blame you.  WIth just our families we’re over 70ppl.  And that’s stopping at aunts/uncles and first cousins we actually talk to.  

Post # 14
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

No plus ones. If my Fiance or I don’t know your S/O’s name (to be put on the invitation themselves) you don’t get to bring the date. So no one’s invitation said “Miss Awesome & Guest” but many said “Miss Awesome & Mr Funny” or whatever.

Post # 15
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I sort of regret our +1 policy because some people RSVPed for additional guests that were not originally on the guest list. We gave some people +1s and others not. Part of me thinks this was a big mistake but I’m not sure I would do it differently.

We invited a lot of family friends and so we invited families as units. Unless one of the family members had a spouse or Fiance, we did not invite their significant other. For our friends we see more often, we let them bring a +1 if they were in a relationship that was at least 3 months old.

Post # 16
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

I am only allowing +1 for our of town guests that would have to travel alone- which is one person, my best friend. She is in a relationship but her boyfriend will be out of the country during my wedding so I extended her the offer of bringing a friend.

All local guests are either married or chronically single, luckily for me.

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