What's your best wedding advice for new brides?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
6320 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

This is NOT your one perfect day. Life is a series of perfect and beautifully imperfect moments- your wedding is just one of them. Figure out what you and your partner most want to see/feel/remember about your day (maybe your top three) and stay focused on those. Let yourself be flexible about the rest so that you can truly enjoy the experience of committing to share your life with this person.

And also- make sure to take time to slow down on the day itself. Breathe deeply, drop in, and look around you. Appreciate it. The day goes by incredibly fast but those moments of pausing will help you stay present.

Post # 3
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m not married yet, but I have been before so I have learnt lots from the failings of the previous relationship (among other long term relationships I’ve encountered).

My favoutire saying whenever I am having a bad day is “the sun shines for everyone”. It reminds me that a bad day only last so long ๐Ÿ™‚

My advice is:

– don’t forget to nurture your relationship; tell your partner how you feel about them, show affection and show your appreciation

– always be kind; if you fight, play nice – and when all is said and done, if you have hurt your partner (regardless if you feel you were in the right or wrong) apologise!

– be honest; transparency and great communication is the key

– always support your partner, especially in front of others; if you disagree with something your partner has done, discuss it later in the privacy of your home

– never gossip about your in-laws to anyone besides your partner; people change their alliances at the drop of a hat, and it could bite you in the bum!

– never sleep on an argument – make sure you say goodnight, and kiss your partner before bed! 

– do not let anyone interfere in your marriage; if it’s your family, take the reigns and talk it out with your family. If it’s his family, let him deal with it. It’s easier to forgive your own…

they are probably the main points for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
12320 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Make a list of people you want the photographer to shoot outside the bridal party. A lot of people skip table pictures these days but years from now you’ll be more focused on the people who were there than a lot of artsy photojournalism. With some planning you can have the best of both. 

Post # 5
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Keep it in perspective! At the end of the day, the important thing is that you get married to the love of your life. The wedding is essentially a giant party. Don’t allow stress about a party impact your relationship. Whenever Darling Husband and I felt stressed, we made definitive, can’t be broken no matter what, plans to go out and have a date night or to put all wedding materials out of sight and have a movie night at home with a bottle of wine. Keep your eyes on the most important aspect- your relationship! It kept us from fighting with each other over something that was ultimately not a big deal, like invitations or favors.

Don’t divulge more details than necessary when people ask you questions. This is good advice for a great number of reasons:

       1. Nobody is as interested in your wedding as you are. If you constantly talk about it, people   WILL get annoyed. It also isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to plan- just yours and DH’s.

       2. When you open up about your plans, you are inviting people to feel free to make                 comments. This is a surefire way to end up with hurt feelings and frustration.

Don’t sweat the things that go wrong. CHOOSE to stay positive and let the bad things roll off your back. No matter how much work, planning, and thought you put into your wedding, something will go wrong. Probably a couple small things. I remember on my wedding day it POURED all morning. Our ceremony was outside in a gorgeous pecan orchard and the reception was in a remodeled barn with a metal roof. When we got to the venue it was pouring like I couldn’t even believe. Instead of getting super stressed out, I walked into the barn, listened to the rain hit the metal roof, and breathed. Then I decided to focus on the silver lining- the rain on the metal roof was a beautiful, soothing sound. I went back, told my mom that we weren’t going to even think about moving the ceremony indoors until 4 (ceremony at 6). At 3:50 it was still pouring. At 4 when we looked outside, the SUN WAS OUT! It was a miracle. Stayed sunny during our ceremony and stayed cloudy but not a drop during our reception. At no point during the day did I allow myself to stress about the weather and it paid off. Even if we had moved it inside, the only memories I have from the time I was getting all dolled up for the wedding were positive ones because I stayed focused on the good. It made the morning so much more enjoyable. If I had stressed from 11 am till 4 pm about the weather, I would have been a wreck come wedding time. Instead, I was calm, cool, and collected. You can literally just CHOOSE to have a positive attitude and stay focused on the good, no matter how small that good is.

 

Post # 6
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

love the other advice! Mine would be to prioritise… if you care about  something (even if no one else will!) then spend time and/or money on it, if you don’t then don’t and don’t let other people tell you what is important. Surround yourself with competent people that you trust on the day (as well as the obvious- the bridal party- the venue is as much about the staff as the setting IMO, and photographers will spend a lot of time with you so make sure you get along with them!).

And if anything goes wrong, ask yourself if you will still be married to the love of your life… if the answer’s yes, then all is ok. Honestly, the wedding was amazing, but being married is even better ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It is just one day. Don’t let it affect your relationships or your well-being.

It won’t be perfect and things will likely go wrong but if you’re too focussed on the things that aren’t going right you’ll miss the wonderful and beautiful things that you never even anticipated.

In the week before the wedding, try to take a little bit of time with your partner just the two of you. It might only be an hour but in that hour don’t mention the wedding or the list chores with it or even how great it will be. Go for a coffee, play video games, watch a movie in bed just spend some time doing something you both enjoyed before getting engaged.

You can’t control other people. This includes getting them to do something but it also includes their reactions and their comments. So if your regrets centre around people then there is nothing you can do about those, no amount of planning would have changed that. This also links to my first point, it’s not worth your relationship when someone doesn’t do something or behave as you want them, or more accurately how you believe they should act based on the images portrayed of weddings.

Cherish the people at your wedding. They dropped their plans, they turned up for you, they love you. Even if you don’t think they’re showing it.

Post # 8
Member
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

Mines a little different to the ‘chill out’ advice. 

Id say don’t be afraid about being seen as ‘bridezilla’. I was trying so hard to be a cool bride and not seen as wedding mad, I wasn’t as clear on somethings as I should have been. I should have given better direction. So be clear on your vision and tell vendors what you want and why.

Its a balance between actually enjoying the planning and of course being nice to people, no need to be mean. BUT it’s ok to be specific and check back to ensure they are on track. 

Post # 9
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Don’t let Pinterest take over your wedding.  It’s way too easy to get sucked into the picture-perfect styled shoots and spend a lot of time, money and energy trying to make your wedding look that “perfect”.  Make it reflect you as a couple and it will be much easier and make you happier! 

Post # 10
Member
1516 posts
Bumble bee

Be realistic and don’t compare what you do with what others do.  

Your wedding is about you and your husband; it doesn’t have to be a picture perfect huge party no matter what everyone says.

Post # 11
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Enjoy the day. It goes so, so fast. Take in every detail. And eat! Eat the food that you thoughtfully picked out for your wedding. Eat your wedding cake.ย 

Post # 12
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Have someone record your vows…even just a friend with their cellphone. I kind of ‘blacked out’ during mine and have little memory of the ceremony. My friend recorded it with her phone, and I am eternally grateful ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

{Not married yet, but these are the matras that are keeping me grounded.}

At the end of the day, it’s about marrying the person at the end of the aisle. 

Bonus for those planning big weddings: It will be worth it when everyone you and your new husband love are happily in one room together. 

Post # 14
Member
1516 posts
Bumble bee

They who pay, have a say. 

If your parents, your inlaws, grandmother or the lady down the street are paying for part of your wedding, then you accepted their money AND a willingness to accept / integrate their advice into your wedding and reception.  To do otherwise is just rude and greedy.

Post # 15
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

– Have reasonable expectations. 

– Be grateful for any and all help you receive through the wedding planning… although they are happy for you, it is not an expectation that friends will drop what they have going on in their life to help you with your wedding.

– Don’t forget to talk to your Fiance about non-wedding related things for awhile. I def could’ve been better about this but it’s so dang hard!

– TAKE PICTURES AT ALL PRE-WEDDING EVENTS! 

– Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!

– Get on a steady workout routine.. not just to fit in the dress but also to help clear the mind and de-stress. 

– Set a planning timeline as soon as you get the ball rolling. Know when you need to get things booked by etc. By The Way… the earlier the better!

– BREATHE! I know easier said than done but honestly everything does and will come together! Don’t alienate those you love by being a biatch throughout the whole process. You don’t want their memory of you as a bride to be a crazy lady. 

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