What’s your biggest wedding REGRET?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 106
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I regret a few things

 

1. having a bridal party- was more drama than I ever could have imagined.  In the end i felt like a referee more than anything.  It would have been better to have just a maid of honor and best man. 

2. worrying about being Ms Manners- spent way too much time greeting and thanking guests that I forgot to eat and barely danced.  

3. not enough alone time with DH- i wish we had spent some more time alone during the day.

4. having tooooooo many photos of my guests- i really should have stressed to my photographer that i needed a lot less pictures of guests.  With everyone taking photos of themselves and posting them on instagram the professional services of the photographers were really wasted. 

5. first dance- it was so awkward—

I am very happy with my photos and I cannot stress the importance of great photography.  For many brides, the wedding day is a complete blur.  It is so nice to have photos to look back on to truly get an understanding of all the days events and to capture all the special items you might have DYI’d.  

Post # 107
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

A few things:

There were a lot of people at my wedding that really didnt need to be there and probably made things worse for me. A few girls who I called ‘friends’ who I thought would be happy for me and act like mature adults were petty and jealous behind my back AT my wedding. One girl- who I had originally considered as a BM- kept calling my wedding plans ‘basic’ and I told her I didnt like being called that. She said it was a joke but throughout the months leading up to my wedding continued to say it. At my bachlorette, and then of course she had to call my wedding decor basic at wedding- I found out later. It wasnt an elaborate wedding but we had a small budget which  now im grateful for because we barely went into any debt for the wedding. 

Anyway, that judgement at my wedding was very hurtful to me and Im still struggling- its been a few months. I think I made it too much  of a show for my guests and I shouldnt have done that. If it wouldve been more of an intimate small wedding, I wouldnt have felt the pressure as much. Women are such harsh judges. I regret even bothering with the reception at all, or I wouldve just had a small family reception. No ‘friends.’

Im trying to listen to what everyone keeps telling me and not care what others thought cause it wasnt about them but it was just so blantantly disrespectful of them that I am having a hard time letting it go. 

The other thing is that my dress was pretty but it had pearl buttons and when I sat down the buttons would pop open…2600$ later…ugh.

Anyway! I have married the man of my dreams and my marriage is great- its the wedding I wish I could do again.

Post # 108
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Selecting my wedding party too early, before I realized one friend was a terrible person. Someone I asked to be my maid of honor decided 2 months before my wedding to date my horribly mentally abusive ex-boyfriend who she witnessed me complain and cry about for years. It was a huge betrayal. I told her that it would ruin our friendship and the ”relationship” would be over by the wedding day because he is a snake and she threw our friendship away anyways. Their “relationship” (which I think was just the ex’s way of ruining some part of my life) ended 2 weeks before my wedding. Needless to say, she was no longer welcome at my wedding or in my life. Choose wedding party members CAREFULLY it is my biggest wedding planning regret.

Post # 109
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Greeneyedbabe86 :  My wedding was almost 5 years ago now – being 5 years older I would have done things differently if I was doing them now. But at the time…

I would have asked one of my bridesmaids to step down. She was making everything stressful and being horrible, causing conflicts, slagging me off behind my back and fighting with my mother. We talked about things and I was hoping it would work itself out, but it didn’t and we’re not friends anymore anyway.

I would have had one less drink – just a little bit too tipsy at the end of the night. However, tied to this is that I would have had more relaxation time the day/night before, instead of staying up late preparing. I couldn’t sleep all night and was so tired on my wedding day. Maybe taking som Melatonin night before would have helped.

I would have spoken up to our photographer about the shots I wanted, rather than just doing what she said she wanted to do – it’s my wedding, not just her portfolio!

I would have made sure I was actually comfortable in my dress. it fit well but was quite form fitting and rigid. Something much simpler perhaps!

Post # 110
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I’ve been thinking about this 8 months on from our wedding. I know this is hindsight, but I honestly can’t believe I didn’t make these changes to simplify our day:

– A short ceremony at the reception venue, rather than making everyone come to our local church and another venue for the reception. 

– First look photos and our portraits before the ceremony, so there wasn’t a gap in between. I think I would have been way less nervous too. 

– No bridal party, but delegate special moments to my closest friends (speech, witness etc.). That way my best friends could have worn whatever they liked, been themselves and it would have given them way more freedom that day (and cost all of us less money!).

I really regret following traditions. It meant I had hours of preparation for all the bridal party hair and makeup. I also don’t have enough family photos, so I can’t help but think my ideal timeline would have actually been:

– Meet up and first look, then portrait shoot

– Close family portraits

– Short, relaxed ceremony

– Party and way more time for photos with everyone else!

Instead we had such a long day dictated by all the things I just assumed were normal/expected 🙁

Also wish I had hosted by own small lunch rather than lump my bridesmaids with the responsibility of planning a bridal shower together. 

Everyone involved in our wedding did a great job, but I just wish I’d toned it all down and been able to relax more. I wanted the day to last as long as possible, but now I realise a late afternoon ceremony and dinner would have been way more enjoyable than getting up early and moving around so much. 

Post # 111
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Greeneyedbabe86 :  You described my wedding, from the price, doing it all ourselves down to the photographer. He was our Dad’s friend. So disappointed, as they are so blah and not amazing. They look like my Dad’s friend took them. I feel your pain. We did get good shots from friends, so make sure you ask your guests to share their favorite photos with you. 

Post # 112
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

night0wl :  Yes I felt the same way. We checked all the boxes and did what we were meant to do and what was expected. 

Post # 113
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I wore a headband that was so tight that by the end of the reception I have the worst migrane!! I tried taking it off but then I had a weird dent in my updo. I couldn’t even stay at the after party I felt so crappy.

Also my dress- I felt very comfortable in it and it is gorgeous, I just wish I had not let other people’s opinions influence me so much and I probably would have chosen something more “me”. And my seamstress added cups to fill out the boning in the bodice, but I can just tell how fake they look and side pictures look so strange

Post # 114
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee

night0wl :  you are making me second guess having a bridal party!

Post # 115
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i loved our wedding photos, but they were your very basic generic wedding day photos. Now DH and I are not model material by any means, but looking back i would have tried to choose a more artistic photographer. 

Post # 116
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

We had a small family wedding because we decided splurge on our wedding bands, honeymoon and relocation. I wish I would have told our guests to take out their cell phones and take a bunch of pictures during our ceremony. I kinda of assumed they all would, but they didn’t. I really love the authenticity of random pics at a wedding. 

Post # 117
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The first wedding? I regret that I was married to him when it was all over with, lol!

My last wedding? The photos. We hired a friend of the family, who was a professional because my Mother-In-Law was just sure he’d “cut us a deal” and because “his mom will be horrified if we don’t hire him.” I’d seen pictures he’d done before and they were lovely. 

He ended up charging us the full price (I don’t begrudge him this; he’s a professional with bills to pay) but the pictures sucked. I could have paid the same price to someone else and gotten amazing pictures. 

Post # 118
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

love that this thread popped back up! commenting so I can follow along as I plan my wedding, thanks everyone for sharing!

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