(Closed) What’s your cheating Policy?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i dont really have a policy. i like to think that i would leave the second i knew/had evidence,  but its rare things are that black and white.  however, its not something i really need to think or worry about.

Post # 4
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My Fiance cheated on me when we first met, but we were young so after about 4 years I am JUST starting to trust him again.. So I have the same rules as you, if he cheats again, he will be out of here before he can say sorry. lol I now have NO tollerence of cheating!

Post # 5
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

We also had an incident early in our relationship that has since been fixed. Our rules? Cheating is cheating, be it physical, electronic or emotional. If it happens again, he’ll have his stuff sitting at the front door and will need to shack up with a friend that night. The mortgage is in my name and he knows I can afford it on my income alone.:)

 

Post # 6
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

I’m really trusting, my SO and I both hang out a lot with friends of the opposite sex, but there’s no suspicion or jealousy. We both oggle girls together, haha.

If theoretically he did cheat, I could forgive it if it was some random drunken mistake hookup, but not if he was having an affair for a long time with another girl, and it was emotionally involved. I only want him to love me. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Butterbee:  i don’t think drunken mistakes are any more forgivable than any other kind of cheating personnally.  and i say this because i cheated on my ex when i was drunk. however, i know deep down that i was not committed to him. i have been drunk and on vacation across the world since being in a relationship with my current husband, i have met other guys that were cute and showed interest, but i have never come close to cheating on him because i simply have no desire to, no matter how drunk i am!

Post # 8
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t really have a policy. I don’t believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater” because I’ve seen people truly change. I’ve also seen people pretend to change but not change at all. So it would completely depend on the situation and what else was going on in life and in the relationship. I guess I don’t see it as black and white, I would have a lot of thinking to do.

I’m not worried at all though 🙂 Fiance and I both have had exes who cheated and I don’t believe for a second he would do that to me 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My policy: cheating is cheating.  Emotional, physical, internet, sober, or drunk.  That said, we trust each other completely.  We have no desire snoop, babysit, or otherwise keep each other accountable.  He shares my policy, which, in his words is, “Trust completely and leave if cheated.” 

I’ve never cheated on anyone.  He was cheated on repeatedly by a psycho girl.  At one point he got back with her, she continued to cheat on him. He went out, got drunk, and slept with a random girl as drunken revenge on his then girlfriend.  He broke up with her the next morning.  By both his and my standards, he cheated on her.  Do I believe “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I still don’t like what he did to her and don’t justify it. 

Post # 10
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Well, anything he wouldnt do in front of me should never happen when i’m not around. If it does, then we have a big issue. There are many forms of cheating. I wont tolerate any of it. I’m loyal and my loyalty should be given to someone worthy. A cheater is not worthy. I’d just pack up, leave, and never look back.

Post # 11
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

PurpleUnicorn:It’s not really the drunk part that makese a difference to me, it’s moreso that I’d be more forgiving of just having sex than having an emotional relationship with another woman

Post # 12
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

He cheats I leave as simple as that. I will not put up with it. 

Post # 13
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

oh and talking to an ex behind my back.. cheating. Proof of that will send me running lol

Post # 14
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

No policy. Every circumstance is different and as such I cant make a blanket statement.

Post # 15
Member
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@galloway111: I don’t really have a policy. I don’t believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater” because I’ve seen people truly change. I’ve also seen people pretend to change but not change at all. So it would completely depend on the situation and what else was going on in life and in the relationship. I guess I don’t see it as black and white, I would have a lot of thinking to do.

This! I think it depends on a few factors, Cheating is symptom of something wrong in a relationship. A relationship good or bad still takes two. I think its easy to say what you will do, in a hypothetical situation, real life has way of showing you what your really made of. When I was younger I defintely was in the cheat and leave camp. As I’ve gotten older and observed so many relationships and often people do not leave (at least not right away). To me there are things for worst than cheating that can shake the foundation of a relationship. 

Post # 16
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m not saying this applies to everyone, but I was in an emotionally abusive relationship in the past (cheating multiple times), and I know it’s not something I can get over. If my husband cheated I would never be able to look at him the same way. I don’t even want to think about it!

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