(Closed) What's your controversial opinion regarding weddings?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 181
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

On the note of photographers and watermarks – I think you should be able to get a copy for printing watermark free if that’s what you’ve paid for but I can understand why they would want the watermark included for social media purpose. Part of it is the advertising, but it’s also protection from con artists that will download a ton of unmarked pictures and then pass them off as their own. No artist wants their work stolen, and no bride wants to find they’ve hired a con artist. 

 

As for my controversial opinions.

Cashbars are absolutely fine (and as a UK bee, expected). 

I don’t like the idea of bridal showers. Your guests are already buying you a wedding gift and then you have a party to essentially get another? I’m sure it makes more sense to people who are used to it culturally but it just seems so bizzare to me.

Tiered weddings are fine so long as your guests are local. (Also pretty standard in the UK)

If you expect people to wear specific clothes, shoes and/or accessories then pay for it. 

Asking for cash or a honeyfund is fine and putting that, or the registry info, in your invite is also fine. Some guests literally only know the bride or groom and have no way of contacting any of the wedding party to find out what you want. 

Give me dress code advise in the invite, please! I have a couple of go-to dresses that work for most, but a general casual/cocktail/formal type indication will stop me panicking about being over or under dressed. 

 

There’s probably others, but I’ll leave it at that before it becomes an essay. 

Post # 182
Member
6291 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

ashley.nicole.2122 :  like PP, we received 2 sets: one lower res with watermark for social media purposes; and then the high res non-watermarked files for printing. I was more than happy to put the watermarked ones on social media as we were very pleased with our photographer and wanted to ensure he got credit, plus as PPs have said there are plagiarism issues. This was standard with all the photographers we met with.

I only came across one photographer who didn’t give you the rights to the images (at all), and so they were given a hard pass even though their work was amazing as I wanted digital copies as well as an album.

Post # 183
Member
621 posts
Busy bee

Stop with all the matchy matchy instagrammy stuff. Think of your bridesmaids and not the photos. Its the people who matter, not the likes on facebook. 

 

Unless you are paying for everything you want them to wear, dont ask them to buy it. Its rude and selfish.

Post # 184
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

Child free weddings.

Sorry, but if you have young members of your own family that you aren’t willing to have at your wedding, it is obvious that your wedding means more to you than those kids do. I hate that.

Post # 185
Member
6291 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

bewitched :  yes! If you want a super expensive gown and don’t want to spend money on your guests, elope!

We had a similar thing at a wedding we went to, where the couple spent a FORTUNE on flowers, £800 on an ‘upgraded’ dancefloor, and £500 on a magician, and then provided zero drinks in the evening (in the UK you don’t have to, but that’s more if you really can’t afford it; IMO spending should be prioritised on guests so either don’t spend the extra £2k on upgraded flowers/dance floot/magician and put it towards upgrading food and drinks, or just keep the money) and the buffet was bacon butties and fries (or for me as a pescatarian, just fries..)

Post # 186
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

The most annoying for me is the hundreds of parties leading up to the wedding. Engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette parties- sure! I’ve seen people throw 14 different engagement parties, 5 bachelorette parties…(one with family, one with friends, ones with siblings only, another with only our pets, another with grandma, oh can’t forget the acquaintances we rarely talk too let’s throw a party for them too!) honestly no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. I understand the excitement but having a hundred parties just comes off as thirsty for attention. 

Post # 187
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Outside of spending outside of your means, whatever that happens to be, I have a problem with inconsistent behavior:

Picking out someone else’s clothing and also not paying for it. Do one or the other. Personally I find picking out another adult’s clothes to be weird, but pick one or the other. 

Not inviting someone (excluding if you don’t invite anyone) and also being mad that now they are distant and don’t act like your friend anymore. Unless you’re eloping not inviting someone to your wedding is a statement that they are not important to you. When they act accordingly this shouldn’t offend you. 

Not maintaining a relationship with someone and also inviting them. I’m not really talking about close family members here as I know that can cause issues. I’m talking about inviting someone you talked to that one time eight years ago, your co-workers, and your father’s secretary.  They clearly aren’t important to you so why act like they are when sending invitations? Why do you even want them there?

Marrying someone and also acting like their friendships are less important than symmetrical pictures. I have known brides to demand that groomsmen be cut so that there would be an equal number of bridesmaids. 

Family members who are not contributing, but would like a say in the decorations, food, venue, color scheme, etc. 

Post # 188
Member
12316 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

While a wedding gift is always voluntary, and never an entitlement and should not be expected by the guests of honor, it is also customary. Unless there were truly extenuating circumstances, I can’t imagine not being moved to give something to symbolize the occasion in some way. 

As for financial demands of the wedding itself, those are ultimately a choice. I would neither prioritize nor get pressured into spending more than I would otherwise freely offer on pre-wedding events.  And since cost of travel and accommodations are more properly related to attendance, I would leave room in my budget for some type of gift, even if it had to be delayed. If finances are an issue, a modest but meaningful gift is always appropriate. 

Cards or notes are required from those sending regrets. Otherwise congratulations and well wishes received in person are appropriate. A card is always appreciated, but contrary to what many seem to think is not the “minimum” required. 

Post # 189
Member
644 posts
Busy bee

I was trying not to comment on here because I think blanket statements are wrong because individual circumstances a lot of times determine why people make the choices they do, however…

I am currently frustrated with people who were adament about no kids at their own weddings, but now that they have children are shocked to hear that a wedding is no kids.

Post # 190
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

bear123 :  Hypocrisy at its finest!!  That is frustrating.

Post # 191
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

ctbxbee :   bear123 :  and these are the same people throwing a thousand baby showers and gender reveal parties 

Post # 192
Member
6908 posts
Busy Beekeeper

appleblossom217 :   5 bachelorette parties…(…another with only our pets)

Um excuse me? That sounds AMAZING hahah. 

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