(Closed) What's your non-negotiable in a relationship partner?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: My ideal SO/DH must have:

    Intelligence

    Looks

    Humour

    Wealth

    Age/Experience

    Power/Social Cache

  • Post # 47
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    Ambition and wit.
    My SO might be surprised though! I think he values his good moral character above all else and he doesn’t see himself as ambitious.

    Post # 48
    Member
    3655 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @Arshim:  I voted “humor” because he would have to be pretty smart of make me laugh.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

    I wish I could vote for two! Humor is super important to me, but you usually can’t be the the kind of funny I prefer unless you are also intelligent. 

    I have been with guys who were funny but not so smart. they were fun at first but in the end, their lack of intelligence got to me.  but I’ve also been with guys who were extremely intelligent but devoid of humor, therefore totally insufferable. I can’t vote for one, they’re equally important! 

    View original reply
    @FauxPas2012:  pretty much nailed the answer. 🙂

    Post # 50
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    character/shared values, followed by intelligence, followed by humour

    Post # 51
    Member
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Age/ Experience…I need a mature person. Petty arguments, hitting below the belts, tit for tat behavior, disrespect and disregard for my feelings, reckless behavior, drama, and all signs a person still needs supervision and growing up were not for me. My husband is just a year older than me, so this really is maturity vs numerical age.

    My husband is smart, funny, attractive and keeps himself in shape, and earns a decent salary and is responsible with money.  Those are qualities I looked for. But no matter how smart or funny or handsome or how much money you make and are willing to share with me if you cause drama and anxiety in my life you have to go.

    Post # 52
    Member
    3082 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @mrandmrsp:  Yes i was looking for that too! Moral character is pretty important to me. I voted humor, but intelligence is also important. It was a close call.

     

    I just can’t be with a douche even if he was nice to me. You have to be nice to everyone lol. It is such a HUGE turn off.

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Character above ANY of these.

    I had trouble picking one because on the surface I really don’t care that much about these things. I chose humor, but honestly if we didn’t enjoy the same humor, which we mostly don’t, I enjoy comedy by myself and it’s a thing between my family and I. Of course, someone with no hint of humor would be a terrible partner, but so would someone with no hint of any of these.

    Maturity would’ve been next for me too – I couldn;t deal with someone more immature than I.

    Shock horror too – my Fiance is, well, “stupid”. I love him to bits, but he left school at Year 9 to follow an apprenticeship, which didn’t work out because he couldn’t handle the maths/cash handling. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he is kind, caring, hepful, sweet, generous, and smart vehicle-wise.

    I’m surprised at how many women “don’t date stupid” or “Mr. Dummy” – that is very harsh and quite honestly I’m glad none of them would look twice at the adoring man I have by my side, “dumb” as he may be.

    Post # 54
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @Arshim:  Intelligence I suppose, but I think wisdom is more important, although you don’t have that as an option. I believe it merits its onw category 🙂

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