(Closed) What\'s your number??

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ummm less than 20… I think. Right around there somewhere. Never had a one night stand. I’m 35. I don’t want to know FI’s #. No one has asked me “my number” since like my late teens early 20’s. Do adults still ask eachother that? 

Post # 17
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Me: I think around 20. I don’t want to go back and count because I’ve tried to leave my past in my past, where it belongs..

Him: I think between 6-8.

Post # 18
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

Me: Around 20.

Him: I don’t know, and I don’t care.

Post # 19
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

Mine is 10. I’ve never asked husband, and he’s never asked me. Going on 10 years in November. It’s just something I’ve asked in the past with exes that I’ve mulled over, and it would bother me more than I’d like to admit. So it’s not a can of worms I’ve ever opened with him. My guess is his is much higher than mine, he’s a bit older and dated quite a bit. I know all about his serious relationships, but have never cared to inquire too much about his non-serious romps. 

Post # 20
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Mine is 1, consensually. FI’s is maybe 20? He’s a people person and conventionally attractive. I swear legs just fell open in front of him in high school. 

(We used to just be friends in high school. I got to hear aaaallll the stories, lucky me)

Post # 21
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

me: 3 (all long term relationships)

him: high, lol 

Apart from a quick get to know each other chat at the begining of our relationship, it’s irrelevant 🤷🏼‍♀️

Post # 22
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

me: 6 him: 8

Post # 23
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Enough to know what we’re doing.  Enough to never ever tell one another the actual # because it is irrelevant. Probably enough to not be exactly sure what the actual # is because its not some kind of competition.  We are older, we lived a lot of life before we met each other. 

Post # 24
Member
7572 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If we’re strictly counting p in v esx, mine is 9. Fiance is the lucky 9th. Looks like I won’t be going into double digits!

No clue what FI’s number is. Guessing it’s higher than mine as he’s older (I’m 31, he’s 35) and dated his fair share of ladies before me. But we’ve never discussed our numbers so who knows. Not really information that I feel a need or desire to know.

Post # 25
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
ladymarian :  8. Im almost 32. Fiance is almost 40 y.o. and I do not want to know his numner. 

Post # 26
Member
7657 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

View original reply
desertgypsy :  Amen. And the people posting here the caveats that all the partners were LTRs or other qualifiers… A person’s “number” doesn’t define them, doesn’t make someone a good or a bad person, and a higher or lower number doesn’t make someone better or worse than anyone else. Until we get away from the subtle shaming in these numbers, there will never be equality.

My number? Enough to know better than to talk about numbers.

DH’s number? Secure adults don’t ask one another these questions.

Post # 27
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

After reading all of your responses, I think it’s safe to say that my number is higher than most of those (I was single for most of my twenties, after all). Fiance and I have never had the numbers conversation, but it’s a pretty fair bet that his is lower, as he was with his ex wife for 18 years from the time he was 19 and was only single for a year before the two of us met. It’s honestly not something I ever think about anymore. I loved being single and had a blast, but it’s a pain of my past and my only concern now is the life that I have now.

Post # 28
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Him: 12

Me: 50-something…I can’t remember exactly

Fortunately, Fiance isn’t even slightly bothered by my colorful past.

Post # 29
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

I don’t even know my number at this point.. not that it’s super high. It’s just never been relevant to keep track of. 

Post # 30
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

My number is 3, including my Fiance, and FI’s number is 2 including me. Neither of us care and I personally don’t think anyone should be judged by the number of people the have sex with. As long as it was consensual (and safe) sex between willing partners, who am I to judge how many people that occurred with? Sure it’s a romantic notion to be someone’s first everything, but if you’re over the age of about 17 that’s just not likely 😉

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