(Closed) What’s your opinion on NOT having a rehearsal dinner??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We are hosting a rehearsal dinner for our wedding party at a Chinese restaurant. I think if you can do a little something, even if it’s going to a modest venue (Chinese, Mexican) you can keep costs down and still host a post-rehearsal meal. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would do a little something as a thank you for those who are standing up with you.  Maybe even just pizza delivered to the beach and a cooler of beer!

Post # 5
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmm, I can see your predicament. What about at the end of the dinner, just say something like, Hey guys, we’re so glad you’re in our wedding party and going to be a part of everything tomorrow. Let’s celebrate . . . dessert’s on us! Or start out the dinner with a few orders of appetizers for everyone to share. I think that would still keep it casual, but the message of being appreciative is still there.

Post # 6
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I was also thinking of not having a rehersal dinner because we are on a budget and paying for the wedding ourselves.  However we realized we wanted to take the time to thank our wedding party and family, and we thought the wedding itself would be too hectic.

Options we have thought of so far are:

1) BBQ – it creates more work, but it very budget friendly.

2) Pot-luck – our wedding party loves this idea, because everyone brings amazing food and nobody really minds making 1 thing to bring.

3) Perhaps a picnic is a good idea for you.  If you are already on the beach and have a great setting, a picnic would be low budget and heartfelt, but once again, it would require a little extra work.

Good luck!!

Post # 7
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m not sure your wedding party would understand it was dutch unless you specifically said it was, because typically, an after-rehearsal meal IS provided by the couple. I think a good, cost effective way of doing this would be pizza or subs or something that’s easy and pretty cheap, but still provides your wedding party a dinner in thanks. The inviting them to the restaurant idea could get pretty awkward if they assume you’re paying and vice versa.

Post # 8
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was going to do the same thing – we are going for dinner at x restaurant join us if you want. But now we are thinking bbq. We will do it semi potluck. We figured since not everyone really knows each other at a bbq people could mingle more than if we are all sitting at a table.

We’ll see what happens though.

Post # 9
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I know people who did:

1) happy hour instead

2) bbq

3) small wine and cheese at their house

all of which were awesome!

Post # 10
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jenroh1984:

Since it seems as if your having a Destination Wedding wedding and these people are traveling there to be for you than I think it is right that you treat them.  That being said I love the idea of pizza on the beach, so it dosn’t have to make a huge dent in your budget, but yeah I’d feel really gipped if I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and took time off or whatever and flew somewhere and was expected to pay for a rehersal dinner.

Post # 11
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@jenroh1984: I would just let them know that you plan to have dinner delivered to the beach and that it is going to be casual.  I think your bridal party will have fun with pizza and drinks around the pool!

Post # 12
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@HappyHW: great suggestion!

personally, I think at least providing your rehearsal attendees with something to eat, even if it’s super casual. It says “I appreciate you taking the extra time to make sure our day goes smoothly tomorrow”

Tacos, pizza, or even just serve some light appetizers and then go out to eat and go dutch, but yeah. . .I would do SOMETHING.

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