(Closed) Whats your parenting style/ How do you raise your kids

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Do you think parents should be *friends* with their children
    NO WAY IM NOT A PUSHOVER : (36 votes)
    86 %
    7 %
    I DONT KNOW : (3 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Well… my daughter is only 9 weeks old but I’d like to think that I’m going to be somewhere in between. I want to be a mom like mine was. She was awesome and I could tell her anything and she was and still is my best friend but I knew her rules and limits and I knew I would be in big trouble if I crossed her. She was strict with discipline when needed and she expected me to do well in school, behave myself, not become a drug addict, etc.

    Post # 4
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My mom was very reasonable and everything was allowed to be discussed. She was not my friend and now that I’m older and having a child of my own we have a wonderful relationship. I see some of my friends whose moms were their friends and they just seem lost and don’t have things together, of course this isn’t the case with everyone. I will be strict but I’d like to think I’ll be reasonable. An important thing for me was that as a teenager especially my mom didn’t just say no and everything was up for discussion so that I could felt like I was heard, but ultimately she had the final say.

    Post # 5
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    As a mom, I definitely play the happy medium. I don’t want my son to ever be afraid of me, or afraid to tell me the truth, but at the same time, I don’t let him get away with acting like a brat, or misbehaving just because he feels like it. My son is only 2, but I think I am achieving this properly, as if he does do something wrong, he doesn’t lie about it, and then I go over what is appropriate and what is not.

    I am never trying to be his best friend, but his mentor, and someone he can trust fully to guide him in the right direction.

    Post # 6
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @zippylef:  THIS. I had the same type of mom too. I always wondered though how she did it.

    Post # 7
    7408 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I am not my daughter’s friend.  She is a challenging child (to put it nicely) and if I was too much her friend it would go poorly.  However, we are fiercely close.  If you asked my daughter she would tell you I am so not cool.

    Post # 8
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My mom was not my friend, is she was definitely NOT cool.  But she was a great mom and I turned out pretty darn well, so I plan on following her lead with my own kids.

    Post # 9
    1438 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I dont have kids yet. But i want to raise my kids like my parents. They were very laid back, let me do a lot without them being there. They just made sure I was safe. None of my siblings ever did drugs or got into a lot of trouble. We are just a laid back family. They didnt push too much when it came to my grades, as long as I was passing. Which i (mostly) always was. I wasn’t close to my parents, but my friends always told me I had a cool mom. Everyone was afraid of my dad..I dont know why? lol 

    I dont want to be strict, but my kids will listen to me and will be respectful.

    Post # 10
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I can only hope that I can be the kind of mother my mom was. She was warm, loving, and a wonderful listener. She talked to me about her day, her opinions, the news, her job, like I was an intelligent human being whose thoughts were worth hearing. But she also had clear expectations, rules, boundaries, and she enforced them.

    By the time I was in high school, I feel that she gave me more freedom than most of my friends had. As long as I was getting good grades, not addicted to drugs, not in an unhealthy relationship, and not being unsafe (whether that meant drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, or being in any way reckless) she treated me as a fairly responsible young adult. I knew she could take those freedoms away if I ever abused them, and I never did.

    So…that’s how I hope to be as a parent. But that also depends on the kind of kid(s) I get – I was a pretty easy, obedient, not-very-rebellious child. I think it would be a lot harder if I had a kid who was constantly testing boundaries.

    Post # 11
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    if I ever had children, I’d only be their friend after they were independent and not in need of me as a parent anymore. any time before that, my word is LAW 😛

    Post # 12
    22 posts
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say I am a little of both. With a five year old. I get a run for my money. I have to put on all the hats. Sometimes, he slides by with a tap of the wrist and other times I come down hard and he tells me he hates me. I try to pick my battles when it comes to behavior. I try to teach him to make good choices and if he makes a bad choice then there will be a punishment. i.e. timeout, no treat, no bedtime story, no tv or video game. What ever it is at that time he cares most about. But the point is I didnt take something away because he was a BAD BOY he made a BAD CHOICE I think as long as you make boundaries for your children and they know they can’t walk all over you, but know you are also human and can make a compromise then they will respect you and you in turn will have a loving child who will tell you he is your best friend. We have the hardest job as parents we have to raise a child to become a respectable well rounded adult.

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