Post # 1
To me, finding weddingbee.com was a way to anonymously share experiences, get feedback/advice, help others, meet new friends, and so much more. Is this place not like a wedding related ‘Dear Abby’?
I just learned Sunday evening that my FI’s sister managed to ‘coincidentally’ find me on here & read a few posts I wrote about her preposterous behavior the past year, the insensitive actions of her brother & my relationship/experiences with my FI’s mother.
Below are the links to the posts I wrote/commented on:
My FI’s sister demanded an apology from me for my posts. I sincerely apologized for her discovering my posts, but would not apologize for writing what I did. A good friend of mine confirmed my decision with this quote “Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” My FI’s sister may do a FABULOUS job of manipulating my Fiance, but she is not going to control me.
My purpose for blogging on here is because I find it delightful confiding my feelings/innermost thoughts to strangers versus my family & friends. And to be 110% honest, my family & friends are not the least bit thrilled with the treatment my FI’s family has displayed to me. To continue to speak of this hurtful treatment to them, I’m only causing them unnecessary pain.
My family & friends try to tell me what to do BECAUSE THEY CARE. But fellow bees are people I’ll never meet & talking with you means nothing except a listening ear. You bees will see me for what I am in that moment: a human being in a multitude of others, maybe with a story to tell or asking for advice, but that’s all.
I’m sure we all have different reasons for confiding in each other on this site
Bees what’s your reason(s)?
Post # 3
I love to get ideas from bees and have asked their opinion on a lot of things. They seem to be able to answer from a bride’s point of view which is a nice change.
Post # 4
I’m actually kind of glad she found your posts, and hope that it was like a slap in the face to her!! Hopefully, it will help her to realize what a cold hearted bitch she is being, as well as others in his family. And good for you for NOT apologizing!! I hope this is a step in the right direction….
I use this forum for all kinds of things, but mostly, I’m able to get so many different opinions from people that I could never get in my little real life world. There are so many diverse people here, there is never a shortage of help or answers, some you would never have thought of. I’ve posted about all kinds of stuff on here – family, home, health, and of course wedding and everything that comes along with it. I have been here for 3 years, and even though i really need to manage the amount of time I spend here, I really can’t bear to leave. I have made friendships over the years, and gotten to know some bees on a personal level. I love being able to come here, and just be me, and sometimes get out things that people in my real life just wouldn’t understand
Post # 5
I completely agree with you. There is something theraputic about confiding in the Hive.
I find it extremerly helpful as a sounding board for the multiple issues going on in my life at the moment. Plus it also helps me to unload stress, and get other opinions so that when it comes to talking to friends and family about these issues I have well thought out answers for them.
Since I found this site a few months ago it has been great in helping me to look at my mothers behavior and take a few steps back. The women in the hive who are going through similar problems have been great sources of comfort. And those who havent have said kind words.
Its hard to explain sometimes to people who have no experience of a specific situtaion, what my feelings are. And it also gets irritating if our conversations are continually about this problem or that problem. So I have found the Hive to be a welcome outlet for my stresses and concerns.
Post # 6
Oh and I completely agree with your friend, never apologize for showing your feelings.
Post # 7
I come here because I know I can vent, get support, get put in my place if I need it and find strong oppinionated woman that dont take any shit!! lol I think it is like thearopy!! A way to get everything out and express yourself!! Dont appologize for your feelings they are yours and therfore belong to you. There has to be reasons why you feel the way that you do and weather they agree with that or not if it bothers them so much they should look to themselves.
Post # 8
@Kristen0128: Good for you for not apologizing for your words. If you have a legitimate reason to be upset with them then they need to deal with the consequences of their actions.
At first I came on here just to get some ideas for the wedding and oggle dress and ring porn. Once I started coming on here regularly I noticed how much support goes out from one bee to another. Now I come here for the overall community and to recieve/give support when it is needed.
Post # 9
I first came on here just to find creative ideas for my wedding, but I started spending more and more time on the site and have grown to really love it.
I like to get an objective view of things from people that don’t know me. If I were to ask a friend if something I did was inappropriate, for example, she would probably tell me it wasn’t just to make me feel better about the situation.
On Weddingbee, no one has a true reason to feed me BS just to make me feel good.
I also like being able to vent anonymously and help other girls who are doing the same. 😉
Post # 10
Sometimes it’s easier to come to the hive for opinions. You know you aren’t interupting them (because it’s their choice to be here) and you don’t have as much baggge (hard to get a new perspective on a problem when they’ve heard you talk about it for years). It’s also easier to hear through the noise (hard to take advice about marriage when they are miserable in theirs).
And for the record, you didn’t do anything wrong coming here. You Future Sister-In-Law is just trying to control you. She went looking for you to do some CSI and find more “evidence” of what a horrible, terrible person you are. (Which isn’t an issue unless your Fiance starts to believe her)
Post # 11
For me, I like the fact that you will get unbiased answers. Also, my closest friends are males so its good to just find someone who sees things the way I do. I often feel ways about things that my FU disagrees with, I use the website to see if my feelings are out of line. Lastly, its great to be able to express my feelings on things and discuss things I may nto be comfortable doing with people who know my Fiance. For all those reasons I come on here.
Post # 12
Great thread! I love being able to get people’s opinions and know that they aren’t going to sugar coat everything. If I’m the one in the wrong, they’ll let me know, and if I need support they are there to give it. I love the support the bees give each other!
Post # 13
This is so weird, I was considering writing a similarish thread today. I think it’s amazing how so many women, strangers, will support each other like this. It is the only place I can come to just say what I think and, like has been said, where i’ll get unbiased answers.
To the OP, you are entitled to your opinion and to vent on an anonymous forum. Shame on her for calling you out on it.
Post # 14
Cause I can talk about my wedding for 8 hours at a time if I want, and no one wants to kill me?
Also, IRL I have very few close friends who have been married recently (in the last 5 years). Here I have hundreds of brides to bounce ideas off of, IRL I have 3.
Post # 15
I’m glad she found the kitty post. A lot of us on here followed it and hoped for the best with that, and a lot of us thought she was ridiculous to you, and has been in the past. On the other hand, I don’t like when non-bees find bees and read their posts and call them out in real life about it. Anyone that knows what this site is about knows that this is a place you can go to privately get advice, and support.
I post on here because a lot of times I get advice on issues that if I shared with just close family or friends, I would get the same kind of opinion each time. I get such a wide variety of opinions and supports on here that it is very good for me. I love reading other posts and commenting because a lot of times, I read posts that reflect how I am feeling about something, as well, and I feel like I am not so alone.
Post # 16
Oh my gosh…I’d be terrified if my DH’s family found my posts about them. Yikes.
But I read both of your posts when you were going through all of that. Good for you for sticking up for yourself! Maybe your Future Sister-In-Law reading some of our comments about her will make her realize that she was treating you badly.
Anyway, I confide in the bee because I can’t tell absolutely everything to my friends, we don’t have enough time in a day to do that. I like other people’s opinions and insight on different subjects when my friends opinions are the same old thing. I definitely get more support here than anywhere else at times. Which is sad, but only sometimes true. I so wish I had a lot of you as friends in RL!