(Closed) What's your relationship like with your mother-in-law?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: What's your relationship with your mother-in-law like?

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  • Post # 77
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @claireos:  wow lol 

    We have a nice relationship. Not overly close but she’s just not that kind of person. We text back and forth about random things, the wedding, dd etc. She doesn’t live far but hardly get to see her since she works a hard schedule. She’s always been super supportive of our relationship & family. Ideally I’d like us to be closer, my family is super close there’s isn’t so I know its not me. She did mention that she’d like my help finding a dress for our wedding so we’re making a whole day of it with my mom, should be fun bonding time. 🙂

    Post # 78
    Member
    92 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    gelaine22I wish mine lived 5 hrs away! That would be fantastic!

    My relaitonship is bad. She is all fake to my face, but says the rudest things behind my back.

    Post # 79
    Member
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    My mother and sister-in-law find it difficult to hide their true emotions. I’d consider myself much more hospitable, placid, and in peace-keeping mode than either of them are. They are often eager to prove someone else wrong, they enjoy debating, and they enjoy boosting themselves up – at any cost. I’ve sat with my mouth wide open watching some of the exchanges these women have with their lady friends. “RAWR!” doesn’t even begin to describe the cattiness and passive-aggression.

    To my face, my mother-in-law is polite enough. I do think she tries. I don’t think she likes me. She invited us out for my birthday and gave me a card, buys me stuff at Christmas, but I think she’s clueless about my interests. I suspect she’s disappointed that my husband married someone, well, like himself. I think she envisioned a devout Christian girl living to be a wife and mother and nothing more – no insult, of course, to those who aspire to that, but it’s not for me.

    Sometimes when I’m sitting with my husband’s family, I wonder what happened to the gene pool. He’s very much unlike all of them.

    So, I guess I’d describe our relationship as “cool.” She mostly keeps her distance, I keep mine. She’s been uninterested in every facet of our lives, for the most part. She was interested in our wedding solely because she thought her daughter was being purposely excluded (i.e., we didn’t have a wedding party. She couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t).

    Post # 80
    Member
    698 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law was awful at first, I felt like I was in a romantic comedy. She would say the most awful things about me and would try to steam roll our relationship.

    After moving away from her (my FI’s first time) and becoming engaged, she lightened up a bit. But it wasn’t until she really went through some changes in her own life that her heart thawed out and she was able to connect with me. I *always* left the door open to her no matter how awful she acted. I’ve made it a point to sprinkle her with random acts of kindness and make sure that Fiance does too.

    Now that we are living near her again, Fiance and I visit at least once a week. I feel like aliens beamed her up and replaced her with someone else. She is super nice to me and very sensitive to my feelings. We don’t speak the same language but she tries, whereas before she would just pretend that I wasn’t in the room, never making eye contact.

    I’m a firm believer that if someone isn’t able to look you in the eye or be kind to you, it’s because they aren’t able to truly look at or be kind to themselves. Sometimes this manifests in a whirlwind of destruction, and you have no choice but to step away. Other times the person just needs a bit of compassion and assurance that you are safe and trustworthy. Fortunately for us it was the latter.

     

    ETA: I voted “Other” 🙂

    Post # 81
    Member
    6430 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’ve never met her. DH had a major falling out with her before I met him and still doesn’t talk to her. He says that he knows she would love me, but he became so fed up with her lack of boundaries that he couldn’t do it anymore. She is still really good friends with all of his exes, including his ex-FI. I feel like that would make me really uncomfortable, ad honestly it doesn’t make me want to meet her. She sends me/us cards sometimes (like after our wedding and when she found out we were having a baby). It’s hard because we are really close with DH’s dad, and he wants us all to get along of course, although he understands why DH takes issue with his mom.

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m so jealous of all of you! My relationship with my Future Mother-In-Law is awful! She is super immature and hates the world, but especially me. FH has basically stopped speaking to her. Every time I see her she thinks of some new trick. Accusing me of getting pregnant to trap him into marrying me (I was never pregnant), screaming and cursing at me for asking to help with the rehearsal dinner, calling me a b*tch and storming out when I tried to talk things out with her…It’s miserable. I’m already dreading seeing her at the wedding! Luckily she “hereby relinquished the rehearsal dinner” and is not attending because she hates me so much. I’m pretty shocked she’s even coming to the wedding!

    Post # 83
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i get a long great with my Mother-In-Law. My Father-In-Law is a different kind of guy. i just dont express certain things to him. and anything i tell Mother-In-Law she WILL tell him. even if you tell her not too. lol. Father-In-Law is the kind of guy that wants us to all live together in the same house….seriously he has five sons. yeah right. but really the one i dont get a long with is my BIL’s wife. so i guess my you can call her my SIL. everyone expects us to be best friends and we used to be close till i felt like she was out to sabitage me and compete with me. i dont know what to do about it so now (after my wedding) Ive just decided to distance myself. i thought getting married and her wanting to be a bridesmaid would make things better but she kinda messed some things up. i cant help but feel like it was on purpose.

    Post # 84
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Most days are good but lately there are a lot more days that are just flat out bad. Living with the fiture in laws are not helping things. She says she doesn’t want to be *that* mother in law but a lot of days she is. 

    Post # 85
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Sooooo…my FI’s parents have tried to talk him out of marrying me sine he asked me and that was three years ago. It’s gotten worse lately because the wedding is this September and I finally had to put my foot down. I told them to stop and it didn’t really help our already rocky relationship. Everytime I visit they always have somthing snide and backhanded to say, but my parents are nothing but nice to him. I just can’t wait to move SUPER far away so they will never visit >.>

    Post # 86
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee

    My Future Mother-In-Law is a pain in the ass. She constantly makes insulting passive agressive comments and then laughs. I try not to take it personally because I know she does it to everyone, but uggh. And she’s so money-grubbing, it annoys me.

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