not yet married so i think our styles are befitting… we’re either “the spoon” or “loosely tethered” depending on the night of the week! 🙂
When love is new, partners will often sacrifice the pleasure of their preferred sleep positions to the rewarding intimacy of couple sleep. Five or so years into marriage, many couples feel secure enough to allow a bit more space — and comfort — into their bed. Often, they’ll sleep tethered, like Spoons but with distance between them. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee or foot. “This can be a way of balancing the need for space and the need for closeness,” says Glass. “It also diminishes the pressure for sex. It’s an affectionate, not sexual, position.” Of course, you can get closer whenever you like.
So close, so safe, this is the most common sleep position for the first three to five years of marriage. “Usually, the man is the embracer,” says psychiatrist Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep , who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years. “When a woman assumes the posterior position, it may indicate she is the more giving partner or that he needs special nurturing.” Semifetal, genitals against buttocks, the Spoon provides both of you with maximum physical closeness, though it’s not necessarily erotic.”Many couples simply find the Spoon a comforting, safe cocoon,” explains Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore.
During early marriage, couples tend to maintain the spoon position for much of the night, mirroring each other. “When one person turns, the other follows suit, so that the spoon position is resumed on the opposite side,” says Dr. Dunkell. But just because you’ve been married a while doesn’t mean you have to give up this closeness. “When my husband hits the snooze alarm in the morning, it’s our cue to spoon until the day can’t be postponed any longer,” says one woman who just celebrated her seventh wedding anniversary.