What's your take on telling family your pregnant early?

posted 4 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

I guess itʻs up to how you feel about your relationsip with them. To me, my parents are my bffʻs. Iʻd tell them IMMEDIATELY cuz no matter what happened theyʻd have my back and Iʻd need that. I couldnt isolate myself from them during something like that. 

Post # 3
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks 1 day and told my parents at 5 weeks. I thought that was a good time frame to get over the initial sticky hurdle, but also thought I would want their support if anything happens from this point on. I also work in a family business and see family members everyday so wanted an explanation for how tired I am! We are not telling anyone else until after the heartbeat at 8 weeks, including my SO’s family as they live overseas.

Post # 4
Member
14064 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I told my parents about my first one at 4 weeks, and then miscarried at 8.  After 4 years of TTC, they were over the moon, breaking the news of losing it sucked.   I never told my parents about my second one, which I ended up miscarrying at 5.5 weeks, cause I didn’t want to take them on the emotional roller coaster of being thrilled and then crushed by bad news again.  I don’t plan on telling them or anyone until well into a second tri in the future.

Post # 5
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We had a chemical right around 4.5 weeks with our first pregnancy. I didn’t tell my parents we were pregnant, but I did tell them after the fact that I miscarried because it was so hard to be sad alone. Their support did help, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had ruined our future opportunities at surprising them/giving them the good news. Luckily, I became pregnant the month after and we just now told them at 7 weeks after we had seen the heartbeat on an ultrasound. I felt so much better about waiting until that milestone 

Post # 6
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m ok with telling anyone we would turn to for support/venting should I miscarry. I’m super early right now, 3+6, and we’ve already told my mom and sister. Waiting to tell our dads until Father’s Day. With DD, I’m pretty sure we told immediate family around 5 weeks and then everyone else at 12 weeks.

Post # 7
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We are TTC, so not pregnant yet, but this is something we have been discussing of late. I would really prefer not to tell our parents as soon as we find out. I would much rather wait until we’ve been to the doctor and confirmed that everything is okay, which would put me at around 7-8 weeks when we told them. I would also prefer to hold off on telling anyone else (including siblings) until around 12 weeks. It’s more because DH and I are pretty private people, even when it comes to our immediate families, than anything else. Depending on how things go, we may end up telling our parents earlier (if I have super bad morning sickness, for example, or if they start to get suss because I’m not drinking). Plus, one of my SILs cannot keep a secret to save her life – we can’t tell her until we’re ready for other people to know, so we felt it was fair to hold off on telling all siblings until we’re ready for it to be announced.

Post # 8
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My husband and I are pretty private people and if I did miscarry early I’d prefer for only my husband and I to know. 

The reason for me is because i hate when you go through something and tell someone then every time you see them they ask how you feel and you have to relive it.. I don’t like that personally. 

So I’d wait till 12 weeks. It’s also the done thing where I’m from and I’m pretty sure my MIL would judge us if we told them earlier. 

Post # 9
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

I had a MC with my first pregnancy and told my family after the fact because I needed the support, when I got pregnant again we planned to wait to tell the family until we saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks but I couldn’t hold it in. Ultimately I’m glad I told them. I’m 9 weeks now and we’ve already announced to all of our family. It’s nice to have people to talk about it with and they’ve all been so happy and excited. I feel like everything is going to be fine with this pregnancy but if the worst happened I don’t think I’d regret announcing. I’m not super private though in general and I would want all of the support and understanding. It wasn’t until I started talking about my MC that I found out so many people I know have had them too. 

Post # 10
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My first pregnancy we told my parents after the 8 week ultrasound and husbands parents after the 12 week ultrasound. 

My second pregnancy we told them after we found out it wasn’t viable (later turned out to be ectopic). We needed the support and help with our son. 

This time we had to do IVF and they know we are doing IVF but don’t know we did a transfer and got a BFP. Originally I was going to wait until we saw a heartbeat but now I’m so excited that I’m planning to tell the parents on Sunday assuming our first beta hcg is good. 

Post # 11
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

We didn’t tell anyone until after 12 weeks. We had suffered losses before (1 ectopic, 2 early MCs) and I preferred to grieve in my own way privately (I am not sure what kind of ‘support’ I would even appreciate). For me, I also couldn’t imagine putting my DH through having to make a phone call to his family to say we lost the baby, it just would be heartbreaking.

We now have a DS and we told everyone at 13 weeks. It was much easier to keep the secret for that long then I thought it would, and funny it brought DH and I closer. Every couple is different though, good luck deciding when to tell the news and congratulations!

Post # 12
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t say anything until 3 months have passed.

Post # 13
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

my first we told family at 9weeks, after we saw a heartbeat and felt things were more stable. this round, if im lucky enough to get pregnant again, i may wait until we know sex before i announce the baby. I was SO OVER everyone’s advice and butting in by like 5 months along. I liked it being our little secret 🙂 My mom is my BFF and its so hard for me to not even tell her we’re trying!

Post # 14
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I’m really close to my family & would want to tell them before 12 weeks- probably around the 8 week mark after the ultra sound dr visit. If I were to lose it, I’d want their support so it wouldn’t make sense to keep it from them for me. If I had miscarried more than once, I’d probably wait til the 12 week mark just to not get their hopes up but this is such a personal decision. 

Post # 15
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are extremely close to our immediate family (parents and siblings) and told them right away both pregnancies. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We value their support no matter what. 

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