What's your view on hosting parties? We cant agree on baby party…

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 2
794 posts
Busy bee

You mentioned what your parents want, what his parents want and what your partner wants. What do YOU want? 🙂 If all parties are contributing, surely a compromise can be reached. Is there a happy medium between the dicey buffet and the super nice restaurant?

ETA- ok i reread and see that you mention that your vision is more in line with your parents. So it definitely seems some compromise is in order…

Post # 3
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Have the party you can afford. Avoid major conflict and extended negotiations with two sets of parents.

Post # 4
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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happybunny177 :  Can’t you all compromise and find something in the middle of the middle of the two options? 

Post # 5
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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happybunny177 :  is his family concerned about the price?

Im assuming it’s a tradition that parents contribute to costs and have a say? 

Personally rather than just assuming it will be split evenly, I’d ask them what they can afford and then plan it around that budget.  As PP have said, there’s definitely a middle ground to be found.

Post # 6
871 posts
Busy bee

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j_jaye :  This. Surely there’s a middle ground between a fancy lavish affair and sub-par food in a dicey neighbourhood? 

Post # 7
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think this decision should be between you and your husband, not either of your parents. Since he doesn’t want a huge party then I think you need to meet somewhere in the middle, you can still have a special first party without it being a huge lavish affair. 

Post # 8
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I think you need to compromise with your husband on the party you want for your child.  If your parents are insisting on a lavish party – let them pay for it in entirety.  Usually when you ask for budgets you don’t make the choice based on the most expensive tastes.  

Post # 9
38 posts
  • Wedding: January 2019

Hmm ok well in my opinion it makes sense to have a lavish 100 day party in which your parents host (it seems like they are willing to do so).

A 100 day party is a Korean tradition and therefore if you’re celebrating that tradition, you should celebrate it in a way that is traditional to your culture (wordy I know). 

What about letting your in-laws host the baby’s first birthday party how they want? It doesn’t make sense to me why they would be so invested in this. The attention won’t be on them, it will be on the baby and your parents the hosts. If it really makes them uncomfortable they don’t have to go I guess, but again it doesn’t make sense to me why this is an issue. 

I understand why PP are saying compromise, but.. why? Make it clear that they are not expected to contribute, that you just want to celebrate a Korean tradition, and that you would love it if they could be there. 

Post # 10
47389 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
ncmcwilliams :  why are you reviving every old thread you can find? Surely you can find something current and relevant on which to comment.

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