Post # 1
don’t get me wrong or anything I love my Fiance and all the things he does for me, but everytime he does something for me he always feels the need to later say “Babe aren’t you glad I did this for you?” like all the time, haha, and I feel like sometimes it’s a “you can’t get mad at me, I did this awesome thing for you like 2 days ago!” I wish he would just do something and eat some humble pie afterwards, haha. Anyone elses SO do this?
Post # 3
mine kind of does that every time he cooks for me. he makes it very very known that he is doing something special for me whenever it happens (keep in mind that when i say cooking it is more like heating me up some soup or making a sandwich). and i’m thinking ‘why are you all of a sudden God for making me a sandwich? i cook for you every day, multiple times a day and don’t demand recognition for it!’ lol oh boys…
Post # 4
Yea, that is like an exact situation that has happened before. I will do the dishes all the time, and sometimes randomly he does them and then he is like “Look babe I did the dishes!” and I smile and I’m like thanks, but in my head im like “ok so? I do them all the time and don’t say “Look Honey I did the dishes for you (again)! Aren’t I so sweet?” haha, they are silly, sometimes I think they want some bonus points or something.
Post # 5
Awwww, you guys have yet to embrace the full art form of manipulating men!
If you give them praise and appreciation for doing these things, they will do them ALL THE TIME!! You will no longer ever have to do the dishes or cook meals! After a while, they will even stop mentioning how wonderful they are for doing all these things… 🙂
Post # 6
@Mr Bee: right on! FI is the “chicken expert” in our house … because I hate cooking chicken (preparing it, touching it, etc). He is “so good at cooking chicken!” 😉
Post # 7
That’s so funny, and reminds me of the “taco incident”.
I decided we’d have tacos for dinner, went to the grocery store on my lunch break and got the ingredients, came home, put the ground beef in a pan, turned on the stove, cut up the tomatoes and lettuce and grated the cheese, and asked Fiance to stir the meat while I did that. I put the sauce on, and scooped it into the shells, and brought them to him at the table, and then cleaned up and did dishes.
He’s acting kind of weird after, so I ask him what’s up… and he says to me, all indignant… “You could at least thank me for making you dinner…”
I nearly died laughing…
Post # 8
@SapphireSun: Oh …I actually laughed outloud! That’s awesome! How did you keep a straight face. Hahhahaha.
Post # 9
@sapphire: That’s so cute!! 🙂
When my Fiance takes out the trash: I thank him profusely. When he runs to the grocery store & picks up something on my list: he’s the most wonderful man in the world. When a jar needs to be opened: I play the damsel in distress & neeeeeed his help! Seriously… these aren’t difficult tasks & I could do every one of them myself, but it makes him feel needed & appreciated! I swear he walks around a little more upright w/ his chest puffed out after I sing his praises. It’s cute! 🙂
Guys have pretty basic needs… they need respect, love, food & sex!
Post # 10
Ha ha! Mine’s not too bad about it in that he’ll give me an hour or so to see if I notice it on my own. (Of course, if I don’t notice he’ll tell me.) Cracks me up. And I definitely have feigned surprise and said, “Aww! Thank you for doing the dishes honey! You didn’t have to do that! You’re the best!” when in my head I’m thinking, “You were home ALL DAY (he’s unemployed). It’s a damn good thing you did some dishes. Now go give him a hug and try not to notice the other little things he didn’t do.” Honey works MUCH better than vinegar in our house. 🙂
Oh, and on that same note since he’s unemployed and for awhile wasn’t being very productive around the house (or job hunting for that matter) I left him A very small list of things to do. As in, could probably be done in 2 hours. Next time there’s a family gathering, what does he do? Makes jokes about his “honey-do lists” like there’s no tomorrow. So now his family thinks I make him one every single morning when I’ve made maybe 2 or 3 in the 2.5 months since he was laid off. I just keep my mouth shut since they think it’s hilarious but it was SO tempting to set the record straight!
Post # 11
@mrbee – hilarious. Both my dh and I do this to each other. He’s the breakfast and coffee guy, b/c who could make it better than him? And why would he do laundry, if I am so good at folding? haha.
Post # 12
That’s what I was thinking, Mr. Bee. Men need to feel appreciated, just like we all do, I suppose.
Here’s an article (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?_r=1&ex=1169438400&en=3edcee0d461222fa&ei=5087&excamp=mkt_shamu) about the book on the Shamu approach to relationships. Basically, it says that you can reinforce good behaviors with praise, and ignore bad behaviors. It is an interesting concept.
Post # 13
Oh, yes – I always pile on the praise. He packed my lunch for me one morning and I thanked him up and down and mentioned it again when I came home after work. The result? Lunch packed the next morning, and almost everyday since. Of course, there are sometimes strange things in that bag (like the day he packed a bagel and four pieces of string cheese) but mostly I love having the extra minutes back in the morning, and he likes knowing he’s doing something special for me.
Post # 14
@ charismaclassic: I seriously just Laughted Out Loud in My office @ him packing you a begal and 4 string cheeses. Oh my; now that is DEFINALTY something only a man would do.
I feel the same way sometimes. There are days that I get frustrated because I always cook. But our agreement was I cook and he does the dishes. There are times that I do the dishes because I don’t want to wait on him to do them…… So i feel like it would be nice if he would cook somethign every now and again. But he does the same thing; he’ll do somethign and then he’ll say “Did you notice I did…..” that always earks me; but I always just smile and say; “Yes… I sure did.”
Post # 15
@SapphireSun – that’s hilarious!! hahaha!!!
My Fiance is the same way about doing dishes, maybe I should keep praising him so he’ll do them everytime =p
Post # 16
Hahaha, you know when I was in high school I took a child psychology class for fun, and one study was how to reinforce good behavior, and how to ignore bad behavior, and this just makes me laugh because I guess you have to do this with men too.
Also I am loving all the stories! =] I guess all men are this way to some extent.
and Mr.Bee – Good point. I will try that, haha.