(Closed) When a couple on guest list breaks up….

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We had this happen to us but we purposely sent the invitation to the friend we are closest to, with & guest just in case this happened.

I would ask the friend, given the sensitive situation if you should instead put “guest” and they can bring whoever they want. Don’t put the ex’s name, especially in case they bring a friend instead.

Post # 4
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

In a week, text him to see how he is doing. Then say, I know it is awkward, but X isn’t coming to the wedding, is she?

Post # 6
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d just call and ask.  Or, if you’re close to both of them, let them decide if they both still want to come or if one of them will gracefully bow out.

Post # 7
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Ah, this happened to us, but the friend didn’t tell us he had broken up with his girl-friend!  They hadn’t been together for that long, but he was really pushing my husband (then fiance) for a +1.  We extended the invite, and made a name card with her name… so, it was somewhat awkward when he brought a random guest to the wedding instead of his (ex) g-f! 

Long story short, I’d just plan on making the name card for “guest of X” or however you want it worded. 

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Post # 8
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sensitive situation! Sorry you have to deal with that!

Can you ask a mutual friend who may know the answer if the ex Girlfriend is coming?

Post # 9
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This happened to us and both guests came.  The dumper came stag and had a blast with their mutual friends, while the dumpee spent an inordinate amount of time choosing a dress, date, etc. to try to make the dumper jealous.  It was noticed and commented on.  Ultimately it didn’t affect my day, but looking back I wish I had found a way to put the kibosh on the whole thing rather than shelling out an extra $100/head on the dumpee (who I haven’t talked to since the wedding) and her new boyfriend (who she dumped the week after the wedding).

I like Pollywog’s suggestion.

Post # 10
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

just ask him. i’d also give him the opportunity to bring someone else if he’d like.

Post # 11
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We had something similar. The best thing to do is just ask, as close to the time where you NEED to know as possible. 

Post # 12
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Strangly enough we had two friend’s marriages dissolve in the time we were expecting RSVP’s. What is weird about both is that both of the wives moved out of town and both the husbands stayed in town. I was better friends with the wives, so the invitations went to the wives homes. The invitations included the husbands.

One of the wives was within a couple hour drive, so she was able to make it to the wedding. She RSVP’d without her husband and he never contacted me separately and asked if he could come. I like her husband and I would have wanted him there although I wouldn’t know where I would have sat him since he really only knew her and the people she sat at a table with, so it kind of worked itself out.

The other wife was a few hours flight away and was not able to make it. She and I talked about having her husband come, but I told her I didn’t know who I would sit him with and I didn’t think he would know anyone that was not in the wedding party. The week of the wedding I heard through the grapevine that her husband still kind of wanted to come. Frankly I didn’t like her husband and I was not friends with him and if he wasn’t married to my friend then he wouldn’t have been invited to the wedding, so I just didn’t try to get in contact with him. I dunno if that was rude or not haha.

What was really sad is I was a bridesmaid in one of the weddings and went to the other just two years before 🙁

Post # 13
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think the person you or your Fiance know should be invited to the wedding because that person would not have known you if it werent for the person you know. Why make them feel uncomfortable?

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