(Closed) When a friend comes in from out of town – how much time do you spend with them?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
46589 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I have friends coming in from out of town, I would try to see them at least once on a weekend or twice during a weeklong visit.

It would not normally be possible for me to see them every day. I would presme they also have other friends/family to see on the same visit.

Post # 5
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

As julies1949 said. When my firends come the usually have other people to visit. I wait 1 or 2 days to call them to let them time to spend with their families and make sure they know the days I’m available and plan at least 2 nights out per week. 

Post # 6
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

I usually leave 1-2 nights or a full day on the weekend open for them, depending on who it is. My two best friends and FI’s best guy friend are automatic full open calendar people because I miss them all immensely and wish they lived here so I could see them a few times a week anyway. We have a lot of videogame parties with friends, so I guess I just expect to see friends more often than some people. Since we’re all recently out of college, I think it’s just that we haven’t gotten really into our careers yet (and some are still in grad school) – 5 years from now, it might be different, especially once some of us have kids.

Post # 8
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Often times friends who are coming to visit are staying with us. My sister does that a lot (our parents moved to Florida, so she only has friends to stay with in MD).  I make sure my evenings are clear every night.  If they’re not, I tell whoever is coming to visit my plans ahead of time. 

My best friend lives about 4 hours away now and often comes to visit.  He’s a very poor planner.  On NYE weekend I told him that we would be completely booked on New Year’s Eve– couples massage in the morning, hair and makeup appointments, romantic dinner. It was our 3 year anniversary and our only anniversary engaged.  I told him that we would have to bed to bed early on Friday because of our busy day ahead.  I knew he was planning on coming to MD on Friday. I was explicit. He got tied up and told me he wouldn’t be getting to Maryland til 10pm. I told him, firmly, that we had to be in bed by 11, but he was welcome to stop by if he respected that. He was a little put out, but when your plans are clear from the beginning, it’s the most you can do. 

I find that it’s primarily single friends who don’t understand why you don’t want to be with them every waking hour when they come to town.

Post # 9
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yeah I feel pretty much the same way. I feel like all my “me” time goes out the window when someone I don’t see that often is in town because they want to make up for not seeing me in a while and I’m just not on that wavelength. If I don’t have a few nights a week to myself I get stressed and resentful.

So now I keep it to just once or twice a week while they’re here, and that makes life a lot better. While a few of them were kind of disappointed at first, they got over it.

Post # 10
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

When FI’s family (who are also my friends) come to town, they usually stay with us. So we basically are expected to keep the entire weekend open to hang with them. It happens about 4-8 times a year. Its a little much, but it’s families so I deal with it.

For friends, I try to get together 1-2 times. When FI’s best man comes to town, we always get together atleast for dinner.

 

Post # 11
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I make time for one or two hangouts, unless it’s a friend who’s coming solely to see me, of course. My best friend was here over Christmas and I saw her twice – we did one big night together and I stopped by her house on Christmas for like 30 minutes just to say hello.

On the other hand, if it’s an old friend I make less time. My high school friend was in town and we had a quick cup of coffee together while she was here.

Post # 12
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

Honestly it depends on how close we are. I have friends who I’ll see for a few hours to have drinks and friends where I’ll clear my schedule for because I want to hang with them as much as I can.

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