when an invited guest asks if they can bring someone other than their spouse

posted 8 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

drabbee :  amazing response! Totally agree.

Post # 32
Member
12125 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

If you aren’t comfortable, don’t come, but there is nothing ruder than putting a host in the awkward position of saying no. If they do not offer on their own, then that’s it. Adults without issues can be expected to be social for a few hours and in this case the friend knows quite a few other people going. 

Presumably you’d seat a guest attending on their own with people they know or might particularly enjoy. You’d also make an extra effort to introduce them around. 

B lists are rude. 

Post # 33
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I had a couple friends that asked this and I wasn’t offended at all. I’m not going to be spending all night with them and if it makes it more fun to bring along a friend, I’m more than happy to accommodate. I’ve been to a wedding alone where I wasn’t familiar with the other guests and it REALLY SUCKED. I don’t want my guests to feel the same way.

I already paid for the plate, I really don’t give a shit who fills it as long as my friend is comfortable and happy. 

Post # 34
Member
1971 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Does the friend know anyone else at the wedding ? If not yes.

 

Post # 35
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

He knows other people going and you have a B list, so no way would I let him bring a random. Just text him and say “Sorry, we aren’t comfortable having people added who aren’t on our guest list”.  It was very rude for him to ask. 

We gave +1’s to some people who are single, but didn’t know anyone else well at our weddingso it’s not that I’m against +1s – but I also don’t think weddings are a free for all. 

Post # 36
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Obviously he feels uncomfortable going alone or he wouldn’t have asked. I’d let him bring his friend. I know I’d never want to go to a wedding solo. Even if I know other people there it doesn’t mean I’m close to them or comfortable third wheeling onto them. 

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