(Closed) When and why do people renew vows?

posted 6 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 62
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2003

My husband and I just renewed our vows for our 10 year anniversary. We did it for ourselves because we got married young (literally a few months after graduating from college) and the wedding became about family, pleasing everyone etc. and not us. My husband had made some mistakes early on and really wanted to publicly recommit and honor me. 

 

We did not try and make it a wedding, we literally invited 20 people, because it was something private just for us. 

 

That is our story. It really is a personal choice and certainly not something I never expected to do. 

 

 

 

Post # 63
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2003

@ERsax:  just a word of advice… Keep your plans to your self at first. I didn’t tell anyone for quite sometime I because I just didn’t want the rude comments and opinions. When we had a venue set and were about two months out, I let a few mor people know and of course, those we invited. Your close friends should support you and understamd why you made your choice. 

 

Post # 64
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I want to renew my vows because wedding planning was awful and I simply did not enjoy my wedding very much. A vow renewal celebration will give me the opportunity to really celebrate my marriage, my man, and our love in a way that is more me/us. I don’t want to say new vows, the ceremony part was just fine the first time around. A celebration with dinner, dancing, toasts at a milestone year is what I hope to do one day.

Post # 65
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I can understand vow renewals after an extremely difficult period in a marriage or in light of terminal illness or something.

Miss Manners wrote that vow renewals don’t make any sense because you CAN’T renew a vow – a vow is an oath that is meant to extend to the rest of your life. It’s supposed to be like baptism – it isn’t something that can lessen over time.

Post # 66
Member
2531 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I want to renew our vows in the future, but partly for the purely superficial reason of being “married” (re-married) by Elvis in Vegas someday. 🙂

Less superficially, it’s because I like the idea of reminding ourselves why we’re with each other and making an effort to keep our love current and fresh (as in: not stale or stagnant)

Post # 67
Member
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

@CakeyP:  LOL……hubby and I saidthe same thing! We totally want Elvis to marry us if we ever go to Vegas 🙂 

Post # 68
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@figgnewton:  I have no idea why people do it. I would never do it because the point of vows is that they’re meant to last forever. They don’t need to be “renewed”. I would just have an anniversary party or something if I wanted to celebrate my vows again.

Post # 68
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

My fiance and I plan on renewing our vows frequently, just the two of us on vacation(we both love to travel). We want to do this because we realize how important and beautiful our time together is, and how it could be taken away from us at any minute. He has survived a very serious form of cancer twice now, and has dealt with an incredible amount of illness and pain throughout his life. Our vow renewals won’t be for show or because our relationship needs the additional committment, or even to have the big party. It will be something that we do to celebrate yet another year that we were lucky to have had together. 

Post # 69
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My guy and I are kind of doing things backwards. We had a private commitment ceremony without signing any legal papers two weeks ago and when we have the money for it were going to have our “legal” wedding/vow renewal later. Aside from surviving a very turbulent time in our relationship and simply wanting to celebrate our anniversary, we also decided, Well since the vows are more important to us than the legalities and the glamour of a wedding right now whats to stop us from saying them now? 

If we can, I want to have the big wedding/renewal on a milestone anniversary.

Post # 70
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I think it would be hard to understand for those who got the wedding they wanted in the first place.

My husband and I married when I was 18, we have seperated twice and have three children together.  We have been married 10 years and together for 12.  Since we were basically KIDS when we got married, we have learned a lot since then and want to recommit to each other now that life has settled down and we have a real relationship again.  We would also like our families involved since we eloped.

Post # 71
Member
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

stcott :  Why not get married? At many courthouses, you just pay for your license and can get married on site for no additional charge.

Post # 72
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

stefzbee :  Its difficult to explain and I understand that some people might not agree and thats okay, but basically we have other financial obligations we want to get squared away before we make it legal (student loans, credit issues) just to make sure we dont mess ourselves up and we both agreed that the vows were what mattered most to us, so we decided to just do that part first.

Post # 73
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Acquaintances of mine just renewed their vows and my IMMEDIATE thought was that they may have had a separation, or somebody cheated. I get it when you’ve been together 10+ years, or maybe you had to rush your original wedding due to finances or military deployment or whatever, but these people just got married less than 3 years ago and had a big, fancy, expensive dream wedding. I don’t think it’s a choice I’d personally make.

Post # 74
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think they are fine if people dont take the piss…

if you had an elopement or destination or a tiny family only wedding then you can maybe do one at 1 year to celebrate with everyone 

if you had a normal, big or traditional wedding etc… thn DONT do it a year later because its kind of rediculous and a big expense and looks attention seekery and gift grabby (and no one want to go to your wedding every year)

if you are have one in another country for people who couldnt make it or people with different cultural expectations then thats fine at any time period

after that time I think its more up to people and situations, 10 years for instance is a long time – you may want to celebrate with completely different friends

or at 50 years it could just be a marker of your great achievement of staying in love for half a century

 

for renewals when you already had a full wedding I wouldn’t request gifts or do bacholorettes/showers etc… as thats all overkill and it should be one day of celebrating together not the same as the first time round (its not your ‘last night of freedom’ because your married etc…)

Post # 75
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

whats the difference between vow renewal and anniversary party?

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