(Closed) when are the boundaries crossed?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

lol

Post # 4
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

a) strippers usually start huge arguments on these boards.

b) you need to follow the groom’s boundaries regardless of whether you think someone else made him say them.  he’s a grown-up, if he wanted strippers he would have asked.

Post # 5
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t have them. He will be pretty upset if you throw a party that ruins his relationship. Take him out to a bar or a club or a concert or a casino.

Post # 6
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If the groom says no then DONT DO IT. Its not going to make him or the bride happy if there are strippers there. Not all brides are okay with this, and it doesnt make them controlling.

Post # 7
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t test a stressed and emotional bride. If she has an issue with it and the groom has told you that he doesn’t want strippers then respect his wishes. It doesn’t matter if it’s an hour or a whole god damn weekend, a stripper is a stripper and it won’t make any difference to his fiancée. You wouldn’t want to cause issues in their relationship would you? Some women are extremely against female entertainment that they would actually call off an engagement because of it. It’s not worth it just so you and the other guys can have some fun.

Post # 8
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

Strippers are not the key to bachelor parties. My husband isn’t into that and he had a great time without it. Being the best man is about supporting your best friends marriage not causing rifts in it so if he asked for no strippers you are putting him in a really bad position by doing so regardless of why he said no strippers. There are many upset Brides who vent on here about the best Men not respecting them or their marriage by doing things like that.  Give yourself more credit, I’m sure you can think of something fun for all the guys to do without that!

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That’s SO wrong on SO many levels to bring stripers the day before marrying a woman. It’s tacky, and gross. My fiance’ openly said to his buddies no way without my input. Do you understand that you don’t need stripers to celebrate your last day of being un-married? lol No offense…

Post # 10
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I guess regardless of what you feel may be the “true” situation, you are far better off not putting your buddy into a bad situation where he feels pressure from all angles. Plenty of men have had successful Bachelor parties without a stripper ” shaking her junk around for an hour” with the option of touching.

Best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the others. You should respect his wishes even if you think he is only asking for her sake. If that’s the case, he obviously knows it will not go well for him; otherwise, he wouldn’t have expressed that he didn’t want them. It’s not a very best man thing to create a problem between the bride and groom, or at least it shouldn’t be. You’ve heard of happy wife happy life, right?

If you and the other men want to see strippers, just go to the club afterwards without him. You don’t have to “suffer” with him, but you shouldn’t push something on him that he isn’t comfortable with.

Post # 13
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you like strippers so much, you should go to a strip club on your own.  Why would you want to do something that you obviously know will cause trouble in your friend’s relationship?

Post # 14
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nope. Let the guy respect his future wife! She’s not controlling him, he chooses to respect her wishes for that type of thing. 

On the flip side, I’m sure there are things that would bother him if she did them, so she probably doesn’t do them!

Post # 15
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

if he is the type to listen to a fiance that tells him he can’t go to a strip club it sounds like she is a bit controlling….but at the end of the day he chose to be in a relationship with her and even if he is whipped or whatever he will just feel guilty the whole time and won’t enjoy it anyway…you will look like the bad guy in her eyes and if she is as controlling as she sounds (to me) it won’t do you any good in the long run

Post # 16
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If he says no, then don’t do it. You won’t end up “proving” anything about his allegedly controlling bride-to-be, you’ll likely just facilitate a fight between them. It’s not okay to put that sort of pressure on him. Just find something else to do, there are lots of fun bachelor party ideas that don’t involve nekkid ladies.

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